感谢大耳朵网友"theone29524"提供的听力原文!
1005 - The One Where Rachel's Other Sister Baby-Sits
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Written by: Dana Klein
Produced by: Robert Carlock and Wendy Knoller
Transcribed by: Coffee Mug, Eleonora, Sebastiano & Vanessa
Uploaded by:theone29524(sophia)
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[Scene: Central Perk]
Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!
Chandler: Thanks!
Monica: Thank you!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!
Monica: Clearly we were wrong.
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."
Chandler: So excited about your letter!
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey!
All: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Hey!
Monica: Wow! Don't you look nice?!
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Phoebe: YEAH!
Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Chandler: That's where people make number two!!
OPENING CREDITS
Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Charlie: Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little)
Ross: Hey...
Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Ross: (surprised) Oh... (he pauses)(sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.
Charlie: Fine, it's fine... (she whispers) I'll just shower by myself...
Ross: (Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B!
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
(they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)
Ross: Damnit!
Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!
Ross: (he opens the door) Hi Amy!
Amy: You're not Rachel.
Ross: Still sharp as a tack!
Amy: Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Charlie: Hi!
Amy: Hi!
Charlie: Nice to meet you.
Amy: H-Hi!!(to Ross) And you are...?
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Amy: (looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Ross: (gives up) Yes, yes, you did.
Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
(Ross enters the apartment with Amy)
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
Joey: That's right, yeah.
Amy: You're not good!
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Rachel: So now, what are you doing here?
Amy: Well, I have huge news.
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Amy: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma)
Ross: Ehm... Her name is Emma.
Amy: Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier!
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
Amy: Hey, your English is getting better!!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Ross: What... what you working on?
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Ross: Why don't you use your Thesaurus?
Joey: What did I just say?
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change.
Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
Scene: Rachel's room. Rachel is attending to Emma. Amy is standing behind her.]
Rachel: God!
Amy: So beautiful.
Rachel: Oh, I know, isn't she?
Amy: No, I was talking about your bedding.
Rachel: All right. What's your news, Amy?
Amy: Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who?
Amy: This guy! He has a killer apartment.
Rachel: A-And??
Amy: A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.
Rachel: No, what's he like?
Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
Rachel: Yeah.
Amy: It's his dad.
Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
Amy: Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.
Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Amy: Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old!
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn抰 love. Do you remember Barry?
Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Amy: (thinks about it) You抮e right, you抮e right! I抦 gonna do it!
Rachel: Ok.
Amy: I抦 gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right.
Rachel: Ok, let抯 keep talking.
Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they抮e in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can抰 believe it's been a whole year!
Mike: I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!
Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
Mike: I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
Phoebe: YOU扲E SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.)(to everybody) IT扴 OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there抯 written 慗ulie, will you marry me??and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Phoebe: Oh how lame... oh, it抯 so tacky, and impersonal.
Mike: Really?
Phoebe: Oh, it抯 the worst way to propose!
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
Scene: Monica抯 apartment. Joey enters the room]
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you抣l be very, very happy. It抯 the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Chandler: (reading) I don抰... uh... understand.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: (also reading it) It doesn抰 make any sense.
Joey: Of course it does! It抯 smart! I used the the-saurus!
Chandler: On every word?
Joey: Yep!
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Joey: Oh, 慣hey are warm, nice, people with big hearts?
Chandler: And that became 憈hey are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey Joey, I don抰 think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what抯-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don抰 you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Chandler: You know what? You don抰 need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey抯 door and Rachel opens the door.]
Rachel: Amy, hi!
Amy: I took your advice, I left Myron.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Amy: I know! I'm Erin Brockovich!
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
Amy: Thank you! So, can I stay with you?
Rachel: But Erin Brockovich had her own house.
(Joey comes out of Monica抯 apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Joey: Ah, look who抯 back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Amy: Well, I抦 staying with you guys!
Joey: What?
Amy: We抮e gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
Scene: Joey抯 apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Joey: You slept out here?
Rachel: Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling 慚yron, get off!?
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we抮e getting rid of her.
Rachel: Joey, I can抰 do that!
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don抰 need that kind of talk in my house!
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she抯 difficult, but I think it抯 really good that she抯 here.
Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she抯 gone?
Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don抰 think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn抰 for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it抯 gonna take patience, but that抯 ok.
Amy: Good morning.
Joey: Yeaah.
Rachel: Amy, that抯 what I was supposed to wear today, that抯 why I hung it on the door.
Amy: Oh, sweety, you can抰 pull this off.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
Amy: Oh, I can抰, honey. I抦 gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joey: (yelling at her) I扢 CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
Scene: Monica抯 Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Phoebe: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Chandler: I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.
Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
Ross: Seriously?
Chandler: Word!
Phoebe: Well, mine was worse than that.
Rachel: Well, what happened?
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Rachel: Oh, that is so tacky.
Phoebe: Well, that抯 what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
Rachel: Phoebe, that抯 huge!
Ross: Well, do you wanna marry him?
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don抰 think he抯 ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
Monica: I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on...
Chandler: Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing!
Monica: Thank you.
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great!
Ross: Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it!
Phoebe: Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
Monica: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
Chandler: Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?
(Amy walks in carrying a phone handset)
Amy: (To Rachel) Nana is on the phone (Hands the phone over to Rachel)
Rachel: (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
Amy: She did? Who got her condo in Boca?
Rachel: (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up)(To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
Ross: No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting?
Rachel: Menstrual cramps.
Ross: I don't think that's what this is.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Monica: No, sorry sweety..
Phoebe: No, I've got work and then I'm proposing..
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Amy: Well, I can do it.
Rachel: (Thinks for a moment) Well, actually...
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child.
Rachel: Why not?
Ross: Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella!
Rachel: (Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!
Ross: Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.
Rachel: (Shocked) Wha... the next one?
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Ross: I... I don't know..
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at