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How to Grow Old

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Psychologically there are two dangers to be guarded against in old age.

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One of these is undue absorption in the past.

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It does not do to live in memories,

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in regrets for the good old days, or in sadness about friends who are dead.

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One’s thoughts must be directed to the future,

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and to things about which there is something to be done.

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This is not always easy; one’s own past is a gradually increasing weight.

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It is easy to think to oneself that one’s emotions used to be more vivid than they are,

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and one’s mind more keen.

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If this is true it should be forgotten,

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and if it is forgotten it will probably not be true.

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The other thing to be avoided is clinging to youth

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in the hope of sucking vigor from its vitality.

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When your children are grown up they want to live their own lives,

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and if you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young,

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you are likely to become a burden to them.

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Animals become indifferent to their young

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as soon as their young can look after themselves,

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but human beings, owing to the length of infancy, find this difficult.

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I think that a successful old age is easiest for those

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who have strong impersonal interests involving appropriate activities.

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It is in this sphere that long experience is really fruitful,

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and it is in this sphere that the wisdom born of experience

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can be exercised without being oppressive.

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It is no use telling grown-up children not to make mistakes,

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both because they will not believe you,

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and because mistakes are an essential part of education.

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But if you are one of those who are incapable of impersonal interests,

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you may find that your life will be empty

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unless you concern yourself with your children and grandchildren.

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In that case you must realize that

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while you can still render them material services,

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you must not expect that they will enjoy your company.