Now, the Special English program: American Stories.

Our story today is called "Sucker". It was written by Carson McCullers. Here is Shep O'Neal with the story.

I had not given much thought to girls until I knew Maybelle. She sat next to me in general science class. That was when I first began to notice her. Her hair was the brightest yellow I ever saw. Her fingernails were pointed and painted a shiny red. During class, I used to watch Maybelle nearly all the time. I stopped only when I thought she was going to look my way or when the teacher called on me. I could not keep my eyes off her hands for one thing. They were very little and white except for that red stuff. It is impossible to describe Maybelle. All the boys were crazy about her. She did not even notice me. For one thing, she was almost two years older than I was. Between classes, I used to try and pass very close to her in the halls. But she would not even smile at me. All I could do was sit and look at her in class. Sometimes I felt that the whole room could hear my heart beating.

At night, in bed, I would think about Maybelle. Often, this would keep me from sleeping until one or two o'clock in the morning. Sometimes my cousin Sucker who slept in the same bed with me would wake up. He'd ask me why I couldn't get to sleep. I'd tell him to shut his mouth. I suppose I was unpleasant to him lots of times. I wanted to be cruel to somebody just as Maybelle was cruel by not noticing me.

Sucker was four years younger than I was. It was easy to be cruel to him. You'd always tell by Sucker's face when his feelings were hurt. I don't remember all the ugly things I said to him because even when I was saying them, my mind was on Maybelle.

This went on for nearly three months, and then, somehow, she began to change. In the halls, she would speak to me. Every morning, she copied my homework. At lunchtime once, I danced with her in the gym.

One afternoon, I worked up enough courage to go to her house with a carton of cigarettes. I knew she smoked in the girl's basement, and sometimes outside of the school.

I came home late. Sucker was already asleep. I felt too happy and excited to go to sleep. I lay awake thinking about Maybelle a long time. Then I dreamed about her and it seemed I kissed her. It was a surprise to wake up and see the dark. I lay still and a little while passed before I came to and understood where I was.

Sucker's voice was a shock to me. "Pete?" I did not answer or even move. "You do like me, don't you? Like a brother, don't you, Pete?" "Sure." I said. I was wide-awake and yet my mind seemed mixed up in a strange way. There was this happiness about Maybelle and all that. At the same time, something about Sucker and his voice when he said these things made me take notice. It was like I never really thought about Sucker until then. I guessed I had always been cruel to him.

One night, a few weeks before, I heard him crying in the dark. He said he had lost a boy's BB gun and was scared to let anybody know. He wanted me to tell him what to do. I was sleepy and tried to make him keep quiet. When he wouldn't, I kicked at him. It seemed to me he had always been a lonesome kid. Now, I felt bad.

It seemed to me suddenly that I did like him, more than anybody else I knew, more than any other boy, more than my sisters, more even in a way than Maybelle.

During the next couple of weeks, I saw a lot of Maybelle. She acted as though she really cared for me a little. I felt so good. I didn't know what to do with myself. I guessed things went on like this for about a month or six weeks. I felt so good. I couldn't settle down to study or put my mind on anything. I wanted to be friendly with everybody.

Then, something happened between Maybelle and me. I never have been able to understand just what it was. She did not seem glad to see me anymore. Often, she went out riding with this fellow on the football team who owned a small yellow car. The roadster was the color of her hair. After school, she would ride off with him, laughing and looking into his face. I couldn't think of anything to do about it. She was on my mind all day and night. When I did get a chance to go out with her, she was snippy, and didn't seem to notice me. At first, I was so worried that I just forgot about Sucker. Then later, he began to get on my nerves. He was always hanging around when I would get back from high school always looking at me as if he had something to say.

Maybelle still rode around with the fellow in the yellow car. Sometimes she smiled at me and sometimes not. Every afternoon, I went from one place to another where I thought she would be. The more ashamed I felt for making a fool of myself, the more I ran after her.

All a while, Sucker kept getting on my nerves. He would look at me as though he sort of blamed me for something. He was growing fast. For some reason, he began to have problems. He started to stutter when speaking. He had bad dreams at night.

Then Maybelle and I broke up. I met her going to the drug store and asked if I could see her. She said no. I answered unpleasantly. She said she was sick and tired of my being around and she had never cared about me. I walked home very slowly.

For several afternoons, I stayed in my room by myself. I didn't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. When Sucker would come in and look at me sort of funny, I would shout at him to get out. I didn't want to think of Maybelle. I sat at my desk reading or making little things. It seemed to me that I was putting her out of my mind pretty well. But you can't help what happens to you at night. A few nights after Maybelle said those words to me, I dreamed about her again, like the first time. I was squeezing Sucker's arms so tight. I woke him up. He reached for my hand. "Pete, what's the matter with you?" All of a sudden I felt so mad that my throat choked. I remembered everything Maybelle had done to me. It seemed to me for a second that nobody would ever like me but a fool, somebody like Sucker.

"Why is it we aren't friends like we were before? Why?" "Shut your damn trap!" I threw off the cover and got up then turned on the light. He sat in the middle of the bed, his eyes blinking and scared. There was something in me and I couldn't help myself. I don't think anybody gets that mad but once. Words came without me knowing what they would be. "Why aren't we friends? Because you are the dumbest slob I ever saw." "Why do you always hang around me? Don't you know when you are not wanted?" "No, you don't know when you are not wanted. You're just too dumb, just like your name---A Dumb Sucker."

Something had exploded inside me. I turned off the light and sat down in the chair by the window. My legs were shaking. I was so tired. I couldn't off cried. The room was cold and dark. I sat for a long time. After a while, I heard Sucker lie down. I was not mad anymore, only tired. It seemed terrible to me that I had talked like that to a kid only 12.

Sucker was gone when I woke up the next day. Later, when I wanted to apologize and ask his forgiveness, he looked at me in a new hard way so that I couldn't say a word.

In the following months, Sucker grew faster than any boy I ever saw. He was almost as tall as I was. His bones got bigger and heavier.

Most of the time now, he stays by himself. We never speak except when we have to before the family. I can't even call him Sucker anymore, and called him by his real name, Richard. There seems to be nothing I can do to make things right. I have sometimes thought that it would help if we could have it out in a big fight. But I can't fight him, because he is four years younger. And another thing, sometimes this look in his eyes makes me almost believe that if Sucker could kill me. He would.

You have heard the story "Sucker" written by Carson McCullers. It was published in 1965 by Bantam Books in 《Ten Modern American Short Stories》. Your storyteller was Shep O'Neal. The producer was Lawan Davis. This story is copyrighted, all rights reserved. For VOA Special English, this is Shirley Griffith.