A Late Love That Burns Brightly

Jo Ann and Bob Chew have been married for nearly 12 years. In December 2004, Jo Ann was diagnosed with dementia. Then, one year later, she was told she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. As a result, Jo Ann says, "my doctor told me he did not want me to cook, and that was music to my ears."

Time again for StoryCorps. This traveling oral history project records America's talking to each other about their lives. Today the story of Jo Ann and Bob Chew. They married late in life both for the second time. He is 70 years old, she is 82. And now has early stage Alzheimers. Despite the illness their relationship endures. Here Jo Ann recalls when she first knew she wanted to be a wife.

My father said if he sent me to college , then I could choose one of two things. He said, you can choose homemade, because I know you will be somebody’s wife for you are too cute not to be somebody's wife. Or No. 2, I can take up a secretarial course, coz you know, at that time there weren't a lot of things that women did. So I decided the homemade was a way to go. I wanna be somebody's wife.

Are you still cooking today?

Not today, I have been up to this point, but I have Alzheimer's beginning ever. And so I hear, and my doctor told me he did not want me to cook. And that was music to my ears.

Wow, who's doing all the cooking?

This spell across for me, he's turned out to be quite a professional too.

So, how did we meet?

Somehow, we got together not I even remember how it was. I'm trying to think. Ever you remember.

Yeah, I remember. I’m shocked that you don't remember.

Oh, I do. I wonder, I do…..

remember the Christmas parties?

Oh, yeah. And that's where we really got to know one another, wasn’t it? My heart began to beat a little faster after quite a few months, and I think you did it, too. Then, we decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. And We got married.

Had you just thought about remarry?

No, no, …..

Why not?

I just thought I was too old.

Well, how old were you?

Oh, I gotta think of it, how old was I, how old was I, (70) 70. And I kept trying to dissuade you from marrying me. Because I was older than you were. And I knew that there would come a time when I would be a little old lady and you would still have all the marks of a 10-year younger man. So, here we are, still together. And I still 10 years older.

This has bother you today?

No, it bothers me that I'm as I am, cause I don't wanna be a burden.

You think you are a burden?

Not really, cause you need someone to take care of, don't you?

That's what I tell you.

I know.

The diagnosis?

It's not pretty, no.

Do you feel sorry for yourself today?

A little bit, a little bit, big bit.

A big bit?

Upset.

What's, what are the things that are making you sad?

Just not having controls of everything, my thoughts and my actions and, I don't think it's fair to you, either.

You know I want to take care of you, don't you?

I do know that, that you can have some cute little chick that you could be running around with 10 years younger and I did tell you.

I know, I have my princess right now.

Oh you are wonderful.

How would you say the diagnosis of your Alzheimer's has affected us and our life?

Outside of all the feelings I have stored up. We still do the same things as we did before. And we still can go to dances. And we can do things. But I don't wanna be an ugly lady this nod her head.

You will never be an ugly lady, sweety.

I just somehow didn't think that this was goona be my way out. And I still hope that it's not goona be.

You know I still love you, right, more than ever?

I know.

Jo Ann Chew and her husband Bob in Little Rock Arkansas. Their conversation and all StoryCorps recordings are archived at the Library of Congress. Learn how you can record an interview at NPR. org.