The One With Joey's Interview


Written by: Unknown

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[Scene: All at Monica & Chandler's place, Rachel enters]

Rachel: Hey

All: Hey

Rachel: So, I'm in my apartment doing the soap opera digest crossword puzzle and guess who is the clue for 3 down? (Hands the magazine to Joey)

Joey: 3 down "Days of our Lives" star blank Tribbiani (gets excited) That's Me! I'm Blank!

Monica: How cool is this we know 3 down, I'm touching 3 down.

Joey: Yea you are baby

Monica: 3 down knows I'm married, what's 3 down doing?

Rachel: So do they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?

Joey: No, they really like me over there though they wanted me to do a big profile on me but I said no.

Ross: Why'd you say no?

Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them, I said a write a lot of my own lines and then the writers got mad, and made my character fall down that elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.

Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say.

(Joey nods, and agrees)

Rachel: Oh come on, Joey you will totally keep it in shape this time, and plus you know the publicity would be really good for your career, and you deserve that, and if you do the interview you could mention oh I don't know gal pal Rachel Green.

Chandler: Is that gal pal spelled l o s e r.

Rachel ok don't listen to him, please

Joey: Fine alright I'll do it, but hey you guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I you know, start to say something stupid.

Ross: Just then or all the time, cause... we have jobs you know.

Rachel: Oh come'on we'll be there for you the whole time. Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Turns to Monica & Chandler and puts her hands in the air) Ha Ha! Im gonna be in soap opera digest and not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Turns to Joey) Seriously proud of you.

Joey: Yeah.

(Opening Credits)

[Scene: All at Central Perk Joey is sitting with the interviewer]

Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.

Joey: Oh not at all Happy to do it!

(Camera shows the others trying to listen)

Monica: Do you think were being obvious?

Chandler: No were just four people with neck problems who talk like this (with one side of his lip facing down)

Interviewer: I think its great that you wanted to meat her, you know when most people here the magazine is paying for it, they wanna go to a big fancy restaurant.

Joey: Actually I didn't know the magazine was paying. Wouldn't of mattered I'm doing this for the fans not for the free food (laughs)

Gunther: Can I get you anything.

Interviewer: umm I'll have a cup of coffee.

Joey: and, and I'll have all the muffins.

(Phoebe Enters)

Phoebe: Hey

Ross: shh, shh were not talking.

Phoebe: Oh finally oh (sits back relieved)

Interviewer: So according to your bio you've done quit a bit of work before days of our lives, anything that your particular proud of?

[FLASHBACK]

1ST SCENE: Shows Joey Singing & dancing at a play he performed in, from season 2.
2ND SCENE: Shows Joey on a TV commercial trying to open a milk carton and it splits open.
3RD SCENE: Shows Joey when he was in a play in season 3 as Victor, and he gets into a space ship and fly's away.
4TH SCENE: Shows The gang at Ross's old apartment in season 2, and Joey is showing them where he watch's a couple have sex in a film he starred in as a guy who came to fix the photocopying machine.

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

Joey: Well there's so many things, its hard to pick just one.

Phoebe: I'm gonna get some coffee does anyone want anything.

Rachel: Oh yea I'd actually love a blue berry muffin, and a camomile tea.

Ross: Umm double latt extra foam.

Chandler: Bagel with only?

Phoebe: (Interrupts) I was being polite.

Interviewer: Ok how about when your not working, what do you do in your spare time.
[FLASHBACK]

1ST SCENE: Show's Joey on his boat and Rachel is teaching him how to sail and he tells Rachel the coast guard should be where the coast is.
2ND SCENE: Show's Joey holding his breath and Chandler comes in and holds Joey's nose.
3RD SCENE: Show's Joey, Chandler & Ross playing in the fort made with the box's when Ross moved in.
4TH SCENE: Show's Joey & Chandler turning off free porn.

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

Joey: In my spare time I read to the blind, and I'm also a mento for kids.

Interviewer: A mento?

Joey: You know a mento, a role model.

(Show's Chandler laugh)

Interviewer: A Men? to

Joey: Right.

Interviewer: Like the candy?

Joey: Matter of fact I do.

(Chandler jumps to try and stop Joey, but the others hold him back)

Interviewer: Well another thing that our readers Always! Wanna know is how soap stars stay in such great shape, do you have some kind of a fitness regime.

Joey: Ahh, we stars usually just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.

[FLASHBACK]

1ST SCENE: Shows Joey & Ross throwing the ball back and forth and remember they skiped lunch but Joey wants to carry on.
2ND SCENE: Show's Joey on the floor with weights next to him and his holding his stomach, and chandler tells him he has a hernia.
3RD SCENE: Shows Joey eating Rachel's meat trifle and he likes it.
4TH SCENE: Shows Joey eating everything in his fridge because it broke.
5TH SCENE: Show's Rachel & Chandler in the hall eating cheesecake off the floor, and Joey comes home and he takes a fork out his pocket and joins in.

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

Joey: Ahh, I don't believe in these crazy diets you know just everything in moderation.

Gunther: Your muffins (He has a plate full of muffins about 15)

Joey: oh, ill take those to go. (Interviewer looks at him like his crazy) For the kids.

Interviewer: Oh I know what I wanted to ask you, you where on the show years ago and then they killed you off what happened there?

Joey: Ah its so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I really shouldn't of said but believe me that is not gonna happen today.

Interviewer: Understood. So what you say back then.

Joey: Well I said that I write?

(The other all get and shout Hi etc. to stop him)

[Scene: Still at central perk, now the others are stadning around with Joey.]

Joey: You guys this is Shelly, She's interviewing me for a soap opera digest Shelly these are my friends.

Rachel: (Interrupting Joey) hi im gal pal Rachel Green, Umm and If you want the dirt im the one you come to, (touch's her stomach) this might be Joey's baby who knows. Im just kidding (Bends down towards the tape recorder) Seriously gal pal Rahel Green.

Ross: (Bends down as well) Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.

Interviewer: Umm im just gonna go get this warmed up.

Monica: Joey, your doing great.

Ross: yea so far nothing stupid.

Chandler: Mento!

Joey: No thanks.

Interviewer: So as Joey's friends, is there anything you think our readers ought to know?

Ross: No no just that he is a great guy.

Rachel: *sigh* yea that's gonna get you into soap opera digest, Well I (bends down) I would just like to say Joey truly is has in-riched the days of our lives.

Phoebe: I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.

(Joey goes all cute and touched)

Interviewer: Oh, I like that, What's your name?

Phoebe: I'm Phoebe Buffay.

Interviewer: How do we spell that so we can get it right.

Phoebe: Oh ok umm its P as in Phoebe H as in hoebe O as in oebe E as in ebe B is in beebe and E as in ello there mate.

Interviewer: Great well it was nice meeting all of you.

Ross & Rachel: yea you to.

Joey: Thanks

Monica: Bye
Interviewer: Well it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?

(They all lean in to here)

[FLASHBACK]

1ST SCENE: Show's the scene when Joey buys chandler and bracelet and Chandler finds another one and gives it to Joey.
2ND SCENE: Show's Rachel dropping spaghetti on the floor at Joey's but its Joey's so it don't matter.
3RD SCENE: Show's when Ross kiss' Joey to be a good friend.
4TH SCENE: Show's Joey & Phoebe Racing with the chick and the duck.
5TH SCENE: Show's when Monica tells the others about her jellyfish sting, and Joey says he stepped up because she was his friend.

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

Joey: umm nope, nope no best friend just lots of close friends. Yea

(The others all look happy and smile)

Interviewer: So now back to the show, how does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?

Joey: Really? Me,? Wow I don't even know any huge gay people.

Chandler: Hurts me, physically hurts me.

Interviewer: Now off the record your not?

[FLASHBACK]

1ST SCENE: Show's Joey and his new "man's" bag.
2ND SCENE: Show's Joey and Ross climbing down the fire escape when they get stuck on the roof, and they end up in a odd position.
3RD SCENE: Show's Joey wearing woman's underwear when Phoebe tells him its manly.
4TH SCENE: Chandler tells Joey his turning into a woman, because he was arranging flowers.
5TH SCENE: Then show's Joey and Ross sleeping together, from The One With The Nap Partners.

[FLASHBAKC ENDS]

Joey: Me gay? No no oh but I have a number of close friends who are.

(Show's Chandler and Ross look at each other)

Interviewer: So lets talk about woman. I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.

[FLASHBACK]

Show's Random scene's from where Joey say's his classic line "How You Doin" When he first tell's Rachel how to say it, and when he his impressing 2 girls with "his" porsha, and when he tells Janine and when Joey say's it to Rachel's sister

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

Joey: Not much to tell there I'm really shy.

Interviewer: So that's it, I guess that's all I need, thank you so much, I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.

Joey: Oh great, Thank you (they shake hands)

Interviewer: Bye (she leaves)

Joey: I did it. (happy)

All: amazing, great.

Interviewer: (Comes back) oh wait, I almost forgot, we have to ask everybody this other then "Days of our Lives" what's your favourite soap opera?

Joey: Oh (laughs) I don't watch soap opera's excuse me I have a life. You know (laughs again)

(Chandler shakes his head)

Interviewer: Thank you the readers at soap opera digest will be happy to learn that.

Joey: Oh good enough (laughs)

(She leaves)

Joey: (finish's laughing) So close.

[Tag Scene: All at Monica and Chandler's]

Rachel: wow I cant believe they didn't put in the part where you said you didn't watch soap opera's.

Joey: yea I called the lady about that, I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about it.

Monica: You slept with her didn't you?

Joey: (nods) little bit yea

Ross: wow this picture of you sure is steamy.

Joey: Oh yea that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base (winks at Ross)

Ross: Did you just wink at me.

Joey: Hey you're the one who love's the picture.

END