Unit 3

Section A

Pre-reading Activities

First Listening
Please listen to a short passage carefully and prepare to answer some questions.

Second Listening
Listen to the tape again. Then answer the following questions with your own experiences.
1) For what two reasons did Gail and Mark live together?
2) How did Gail's father and mother react to the news about the wedding plans?
3) In what ways are Gail's and her father's views different?

Marriage Across the Nations

Gail and I imagined a quiet wedding. During our two years together we had experienced the usual ups and downs of a couple learning to know, understand, and respect each other. But through it all we had honestly confronted the weaknesses and strengths of each other's characters.
Our racial and cultural differences enhanced our relationship and taught us a great deal about tolerance, compromise, and being open with each other. Gail sometimes wondered why I and other blacks were so involved with the racial issue, and I was surprised that she seemed to forget the subtler forms of racial hatred in American society.
Gail and I had no illusions about what the future held for us as a married, mixed couple in America. The continual source of our strength was our mutual trust and respect.
We wanted to avoid the mistake made by many couples of marrying for the wrong reasons, and only finding out ten, twenty, or thirty years later that they were incompatible, that they hardly took the time to know each other, that they overlooked serious personality conflicts in the expectation that marriage was an automatic way to make everything work out right. That point was emphasized by the fact that Gail's parents, after thirty-five years of marriage, were going through a bitter and painful divorce, which had destroyed Gail and for a time had a negative effect on our budding relationship.
When Gail spread the news of our wedding plans to her family she met with some resistance. Her mother, Deborah, all along had been supportive of our relationship, and even joked about when we were going to get married so she could have grandchildren. Instead of congratulations upon hearing our news, Deborah counseled Gail to be really sure she was doing the right thing.
"So it was all right for me to date him, but it's wrong for me to marry him. Is his color the problem, Mom?" Gail subsequently told me she had asked her mother.
"To start with I must admit that at first I harbored reservations about a mixed marriage, prejudices you might even call them. But when I met Mark I found him a charming and intelligent young guy. Any mother would be proud to have him for a son-in-law. So, color has nothing to do with it. Yes, my friends talk. Some even express shock at what you're doing. But they live in a different world. So you see, Mark's color is not the problem. My biggest worry is that you may be marrying Mark for the same wrong reasons that I married your father. When we met I saw him as my beloved, intelligent, charming, and caring. It was all so new, all so exciting, and we both thought, on the surface at least, that ours was an ideal marriage with every indication that it would last forever. I realized only later that I didn't know my beloved, your father, very well when we married."
"But Mark and I have been together more than two years," Gail railed. "We've been through so much together. We've seen each other at our worst many times. I'm sure that time will only confirm what we feel deeply about each other."
"You may be right. But I still think that waiting won't hurt. You're only twenty-five."
Gail's father, David, whom I had not yet met personally, approached our decision with a father-knows-best attitude. He basically asked the same questions as Gail's mother: "Why the haste? Who is this Mark? What's his citizenship status?" And when he learned of my problems with the Citizenship department, he immediately suspected that I was marrying his daughter in order to remain in the United States.
"But Dad, that's harsh," Gail said.
"Then why the rush? Buy time, buy time," he remarked repeatedly.
"Mark has had problems with citizenship before and has always taken care of them himself," Gail defended." In fact, he made it very clear when we were discussing marriage that if I had any doubts about anything, I should not hesitate to cancel our plans."
Her father proceeded to quote statistics showing that mixed couples had higher divorce rates than couples of the same race and gave examples of mixed couples he had counseled who were having marital difficulties.
"Have you thought about the hardships your children would go through?" he asked.
"Dad, are you a racist?"
"No, of course not. But you have to be realistic."
"Maybe our children will have some problems, but whose children don't? But one thing they'll always have: our love and devotion."
"That's idealistic. People can be very cruel toward children from mixed marriages."
"Dad, we'll worry about that when the time comes. If we had to resolve all doubt before we acted, very little would ever get done."
"Remember, it's never too late to change your mind."
Words: 809

NEW WORDS

character
n. 1. [C] mental or moral qualities that make a person, group, nation, etc., different from others （指个人、民族、社会特有的） 天性, 性格, 本质, 特征
2. [C] all those qualities that make a thing, a place, an event, etc., what it is and different from others （事物、地方、事件的） 特点, 特性, 特征

tolerance
n. 1. [U] willingness or ability to accept sth. 容忍，宽容
2. [U] the ability to bear sth. unpleasant, or to continue existing in spite of bad conditions 忍耐力

compromise
n. [C, U] giving up of certain demands by each side, so that an agreement may be reached which satisfies both to some degree 妥协，折衷，和解
vi. settle a difference, etc., by making a compromise 妥协，折衷
vt. bring sb./sth./oneself into danger by foolish acts 危及……的安全，使受牵连

▲subtle
a. 1. not easy to tell or describe; fine; slight （因细微、精巧或微妙而） 难于觉察或描述的；精巧的；巧妙的
2. secret; tricky 诡秘的；狡诈的

hatred
n. [U] very strong dislike; hate 痛恨，憎恨

▲illusion
n. 1. [C] a false idea, belief or impression 错误的观点、信念或印象
2. [C] a thing that a person wrongly believes to exist; a false idea 假象

married
a. 1. having a husband or wife 有夫或有妻的，已婚的
2. of marriage 婚姻的

mutual
a. 1. (of feeling or an action) felt or done by each to the other（指感情或行动）相互的
2. shared by two or more people （两人或多人） 共同的，共有的

▲compatible
a. 1. (of people, ideas, differences, etc.) suitable; able to exist together （指人、思想、论点、原则等）适合的；可共存的
2. (of equipment) able to use together （指设备） 兼容的，配套的

incompatible
a. not able to live or work happily with sb. 不能愉快地一起生活或共事的

overlook
vt. 1. fail to see or notice sth.; miss 漏看，没注意到；忽略
2. pretend not to notice; forgive 不予注意；宽恕
3. have or give a view of (a place) from above 俯视，眺望

expectation
n. 1. [U] firm belief that sth. will happen; hope of getting sth./that sth. will happen 期待，期望
2. (pl.) confident feelings (about sth.)（对某事）有信心的指望

divorce
n. 1. [C, U] lawful ending of a marriage 离婚
2. [C] separation; ending of a connection 断绝关系, 分离
v. end a marriage by a lawful process 离婚
vt. separate sb./sth. from sth., esp. in a false way 使分离，使脱离

▲bud
vi. produce buds 发芽，萌芽
n. [C] a small part of a plant which sticks out from a branch and will develop into a flower 芽，花蕾

resistance
n. 1. [U] being against sth. 反对，敌对
2. [U] (sing.)(action of) using force to be against sth./sb. 抵抗, 对抗

congratulation
n. 1. (pl.) words that show pleasure about one's good fortune or success 贺词，赞词
2. praising sb. and saying that you are pleased about a special or unusual success 祝贺,道喜

counsel
vt. advise; give advice and support to 劝告, 忠告；辅导, 提供咨询
n. [U] advice; ideas 劝告，意见，建议

subsequent
a. later, following 后来的，随后的，继起的

subsequently
ad. after that, afterwards 后来，接着

harbor (英harbour)
vt. 1. keep (sth.) secretly in one's mind 心怀，怀有
2. give shelter to (a criminal, etc.); protect 庇护，窝藏（罪犯）；隐匿
n. [C, U] place of shelter for ships 港，港口

reservation
n. 1. [U, C] (esp. pl.) spoken or unspoken limit which prevents one's agreement with a plan, or accepting of an idea, etc. （讲出或未讲出的）保留条件，限制条件
2. [C] order of seats, etc. 预订座位（车票、机票等）

prejudice
n. [C] opinion, or like or dislike of sb./sth. , that is not founded on experience or reason 偏见，成见
vt. 1. cause sb. to have a prejudice; influence sb. 有偏见 (或偏爱)
2. cause harm to; make weak 伤害，损害

charm
n. [U] power of pleasing or attracting people; attractiveness 魅力；吸引力
vt. attract，delight, or influence by charm 使高兴, 使迷醉, 吸引

guy
n. [C] (informal) man （非正式）家伙，伙计

son-in-law
n. [C] husband of one's daughter 女婿

beloved
n. darling 心爱的人
a. much loved 心爱的，亲爱的

indication
n. [C, U] words, sign, etc. that shows sth.（暗示某事物的）言语，姿势，标记

confirm
vt. 1. prove (a report, an opinion, etc.) true or correct 证实，证明，确定
2. make (a plan or meeting) certain, often by telephone or writing （通过电话、书信）确定，确认（安排、会议）

suspect
vt. 1. have an idea of the existence or truth of (sth.); believe 猜想，疑有；觉得
2. feel doubt about (sth.); mistrust 怀疑；不信任
n. [C] a person suspected of a crime, etc. 嫌疑犯
a. not to be trusted; possibly false 靠不住的，不可信的，可疑的

harsh
a. 1. cruel; severe 严厉的，残酷的，苛刻的
2. unpleasantly rough or sharp, esp. to the senses 刺耳（眼）的

hesitate
v. 1. be slow to speak or act because one feels uncertain or unwilling; pause in doubt 犹豫, 踌躇, 迟疑
2. be reluctant 不愿，勉强

cancel
vt. 1. say that (sth. already planned and decided upon) will not be done or take place 取消
2. cross out (sth. written) 删去

proceed
vi. 1. go to a further or the next stage; go on 着手；继续进行
2. make one's way; go 前进，行进

quote
v. repeat the words that sb. else has said or written 引用，引述，援引
n. [C] a group of words taken from a book, play, speech, etc. and used again, usually by sb. other than the writer 引语

hardship
n. 1. [C] conditions causing severe suffering 艰难情况，困境
2. [U] severe suffering and discomfort 苦难，困苦，贫困

■racist
n. person who believes that other races are not as good as his/her own and, therefore, treats them unfairly 种族主义者，种族主义分子

realistic
a. 1. based on facts rather than on feelings or illusion; practical 实际的（根据事实而不根据感情和幻想）；务实的
2. appearing to be existing or happening in fact 逼真的，像实际存在或发生的

resolve
vt. 1. end (a problem or difficulty) 解决，解除
2. decide; determine 决定，决心

PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS

ups and downs
the changing of good and bad luck 好运和坏运的交替；盛衰；浮沉

work out
develop in a certain way; turn out 按某种方式发展；结果为

for a time
for a short period 暂时，一度

meet with
encounter sth.; experience sth. 遭遇，受到；经历

all along
all the time; from the beginning 始终；从开始一直

have nothing to do with
have no connection with; avoid 与……无关；不跟……往来

on the surface
when not observed, thought about, etc. deeply 表面上, 外表上, 从表面上看

at one's worst
showing the most unpleasant side of sb. 最差的一面

learn of
become aware of (sth.) through information or observation; realize 获悉，听说；认识到

take care of
be responsible for; deal with 负责；处理

PROPER NAMES

Gail
盖尔

Deborah
德博拉

Section B

Rich Meeting His Future Mother-in-law

After much thought, I came up with a brilliant plan for Rich to meet my mother and win her over. In fact, I arranged it so my mother would want to cook a meal especially for him.
One day, my mother called me, to invite me to a birthday dinner for my father. My brother Vincent was bringing his girlfriend, Lisa Lum. I could bring a friend, too.
I knew she would do this, because cooking was how my mother expressed her love, her pride, her power, her proof that she knew more than any one else. "Just be sure to tell her later that her cooking was the best you ever tasted," I told Rich. "Believe me."
The eve of the dinner, I sat in the kitchen watching her cook, waiting for the right moment to tell her about our marriage plans, that we had decided to get married next July, about seven months away. She was cubing garlic and slicing cabbage into small pieces and chatting at the same time about Auntie Suyuan: "She can only cook looking at directions. My instructions are in my fingers. I know what secret ingredients to put in just by using my nose!" And she was slicing so quickly, seemingly not paying attention to her sharp chopping knife, that I was afraid the tips of her fingers would become one of the ingredients of the purple vegetable and pork dish.
I was hoping she would say something first concerning Rich. I had seen her expression when she opened the door, her forced smile as she surveyed him from head to toe, checking her judgment of him against that already given to her by Auntie Suyuan. I tried to anticipate what criticisms she would have.
Rich was not only not Chinese, he was also my junior, a few years younger than I was. And unfortunately, he looked much younger with his curly red hair, smooth pale skin, and the splash of orange freckles across his nose. He was a bit on the short side, compactly built. In his dark business suits, he looked nice but easily forgettable, like somebody's nephew at a funeral. This was why I didn't notice him the first year we worked together at the firm. But, my mother noticed everything.
"So what do you think of Rich?" I finally asked, holding my breath.
She tossed the garlic in the hot oil which bubbled in a loud, angry sound. "So many spots on his face," she said.
I could feel the goose bumps rise on my back. "They're freckles. Freckles are good luck, you know," I felt compelled to defend on his behalf, a bit too heatedly as I raised my voice above the noise of the kitchen.
"Oh?" she said innocently.
"Yes, the more spots the better. Everybody knows that."
She considered this a moment and then smiled and spoke in a Chinese dialect: "Maybe this is true. When you were young, you got the chicken pox. So many spots, you had to stay home for ten days. So lucky, you thought."
I couldn't save Rich in the kitchen. And I couldn't save him later at the dinner table either.
He had brought a bottle of French wine, something he did not know my parents could not appreciate. My parents did not even own appropriate glasses for wine. And then he also made the mistake of drinking not one but two frosted glasses full, while everybody else had a half-inch "just for taste."
But the worst happened when Rich criticized my mother's cooking, and he didn't even have a clue about what he had done. As is the Chinese cook's custom, my mother always made negative remarks about her own cooking. That night she chose to direct it toward her famous steamed pork and preserved vegetable dish, which she always served with special pride.
"Ai! This dish not salty enough, no flavor," she complained, after tasting a small bite. "It is too bad to eat."
This was our family's cue to eat some and proclaim it the best she had ever made. But before we could be so diplomatic, Rich said, "You know, all it needs is a little soy sauce." And he proceeded to pour a riverful of the salty black stuff on the china plate, right before my mother's shocked eyes.
And even though I was hopeful throughout the dinner that my mother would somehow see Rich's kindness, his sense of humor and charm, I knew he had failed miserably in her eyes.
Rich obviously had had a different opinion on how the evening had gone. When we got home that night, after we put Shoshana to bed, he said modestly, "Well, I think we hit it off A-OK."
Words: 792

NEW WORDS

brilliant
a. 1. highly skilled, unusually good, very clever 出色的, 才华横溢的，聪颖的
2. full of light, shining or bright in color 光辉的，明亮的

arrange
vt. 1. plan the details of (a future event); organize 准备，筹备；组织，安排
2. put sth. in order; make organized, or attractive 排列，整理，布置

eve
n. [U] day or evening before a certain event 前夕

cube
vt. cut (food) into six-sided pieces 切（食物）成方块
n. 1. a hard object with six square sides of equal size 立方体
2.【数】立方，三次幂

garlic
n. [U] 蒜，大蒜


slice
vt. cut sth. into thin wide flat pieces 把……切成薄片
n. [C] a flat, often thin, piece of food that has been cut from a large piece 片

cabbage
n. [C, U] 甘蓝

ingredient
n. 1. [C] any of the foods that are combined to make a particular dish （构成某种食品的各种）成分，配料
2. [C] any of the qualities of which sth. is made （形成某事物的）因素

chop
vt. cut (sth.) into pieces with a knife or other sharp instruments 砍，切，剁碎
n. [C] a small piece of meat with bone still in it 排骨

purple
a. 紫色的
n. [C, U] 紫色

concerning
prep.about (sb./sth.) 关于

toe
n. [C] 脚趾

anticipate
vt. 1. see (what is going to happen or what needs to be done) and then act 事前处理，预先准备
2. expect (sth.) 预料，预期，期待

criticism
n. [C, U] the words not in favor of sb. or sth. based on mistakes 批评，批判，指责

curl
n. 1. [C, U]（一绺）卷发
2. [C] 卷曲物

curly
a. made, grown or arranged in curls 卷曲的

▲splash
n. [C] a bright patch of color 有色斑点

■freckle
n. [C] 雀斑，斑点

▲compact
a. 1. (of person or an animal) small, strong, and well-built 结实的
2. closely and neatly packed together 紧凑的，小巧的

compactly
ad. 结实地，紧密地，密实地

nephew
n. [C] a son of your sister or brother or a son of the sister or brother of your husband or wife 侄儿，外甥

bubble
vi. contain thin balls of air or gas rising to the top or make a sound like this 冒泡，发出冒泡的声音
n. [C] a ball of air 气泡，水泡，泡沫

spot
n. 1. [C] a small raised area or marks on the skin 粉刺，丘疹
2. [C] a small mark 小点，斑点，污点
3. [C] a particular place or point 地点，处所
vt. 1. mark with spots 玷污
2. see, notice or recognize (sb./sth.) that is difficult to notice or that one is looking for 认出，发现

bump
n. 1. [C] a thick or hard raised area, maybe on the skin, esp. one caused by illness or hurt 肿块，突起
2. [C] a sudden forceful blow or a hit 碰撞，猛撞
vi. hit sth. with force, esp. accidentally 碰撞

compel
vt. make sb. do sth.; force 强迫，迫使

behalf
n. [U] interest; side 利益；方面

innocent
a. 1. harmless 无恶意的
2. not guilty of wrongdoing 清白的，无罪的，无辜的

innocently
ad. 无罪地，单纯地，合法地

dialect
n. [C, U] a special form of language which is peculiar to a certain region or social group 方言，土语

■pox
n. [U] 痘, 痘疮

frost
vt. 1. cover sth. with frost 以霜覆盖
2. make (sth. esp. glass) look as if it is covered with frost 使（玻璃）不透明（形成霜状表面）
vi. become covered with frost 结霜，结冰
n. 1. [U] 霜
2. [C] a period of time of cold weather when frost forms 霜冻，严寒天气

criticize (英criticise)
vt. 1. point out the mistakes of (sb./sth.) 批评，批判
2. form and express a judgment on (a work of art, literature, etc.) （对艺术品、文学作品的） 评论

clue
n. [C] a fact or idea as a guide or aid in a task or problem 线索，提示

cue
n. 1. [C] a signal for sb. to do sth. 暗示，信号
2. [C] an example of how to behave, what to do, etc.（关于如何行动或做什么的）暗示

▲proclaim
vt. 1. make sth. known publicly 宣告，宣布，公布，声明
2. show or make it clear 表明，显示

diplomatic
a. 1. skillful in dealing with people 有交际手段的，策略的，圆滑的
2. of or about the profession, activity, or skill of managing international relations 外交的

■soy
n. [U] 大豆

sauce
n. [C, U] (type of liquid) mixed ingredients used with food to add flavor 调味汁, 佐料

china
n. [U] 瓷器

hopeful
a. 1. (of a person) having hope （指人）怀有希望的
2. (of a sign, situation, etc.) giving hope; likely to succeed （指迹象、状况等）有希望的，有可能成功的

somehow
ad. 1. in some way; by some means 以某种方法或方式；设法
2. for a reason that is unknown 由于某种未知的理由

kindness
n. 1. [U] quality of being kind 亲切，和蔼，关心
2. [C] a kind act 仁慈的举动

miserable
a. 1. causing unhappiness; unpleasant 使人痛苦的；令人讨厌的
2. very unhappy or uncomfortable 痛苦的，悲惨的，可怜的

miserably
ad. 苦恼地，痛苦地，难过地，不幸地

modest
a. 1. having or showing a not too high opinion of one's abilities, qualities, etc. 谦虚的，虚心的
2. not large in amount, size, etc. 适中的，适度的

modestly
ad. 1. 谦虚地，虚心地
2. 适中地，适度地

PHRASES AND EXPRESSIONS

come up with
find or produce (an answer, a solution, etc.) 找到，想出（答案、解决方法等）

win over
gain (sb.'s) support or favor 争得（别人的）支持或恩惠

from head to toe
over the whole length of one's body 从头到脚，浑身上下

think of
have as an opinion about 有……看法（想法）

hold one's breath
stop breathing for a short time 屏息

proceed to do
go on doing 继续做，继续进行

even though
in spite of the fact or belief that; no matter whether 纵然……也；即使

put sb. to bed
make sb. go to bed 安置某人睡觉

hit it off
have a friendly relationship with each other 相处得很好

PROPER NAMES
Vincent
文森特

Lisa Lum
莉萨·卢姆

Auntie Suyuan
素媛阿姨

Shoshana
肖莎娜

Section C

Finding a Marriage Partner

All humans are born into families — and families begin with the joining together of a man and a woman in marriage. All societies have their own form of marriage. The ideas that we have about marriage are part of our cultural background; they are part of our basic beliefs about right and wrong. As we study marriage, we find that different cultures have solved the problem of finding a spouse in different ways.
In traditional Chinese culture, parents made marriage decisions for their children. Parents who wanted to find a spouse for their son or daughter asked a marriage counselor （媒人） to find someone with the right qualities, including age and educational background. Older family members, who understood that the goal of marriage was to produce healthy sons, made the all-important decision of marriage. In traditional Chinese society, sons were important because they would take positions as head of the family and keep the family name alive.
As part of our cultural background, beliefs about marriage can be as different as the cultures of the world. The Hopi, a native people of North America, used to have a very different idea about freedom. The Hopi allowed boys to leave their parents' home at age thirteen to live in a kiva, a special home for young males. Here they enjoyed the freedom to go out alone at night and secretly visit young girls. Most boys tried to leave the girl's home before dawn, but a girl's parents usually did not get angry about the night visits. They allowed the visits to continue if they thought the boy was someone who would make a good marriage partner. After a few months of receiving visits, most girls were expecting a baby. At this time they could choose their favorite boy for a husband.
The Hopi culture is not the only one that allowed young people to visit each other at night. Some Bavarian people of southern Germany once had a "windowing" custom that took place when young women left their windows open at night so that young men could enter their bedrooms. When a woman was expecting, the man usually asked her to marry him. But women who were not with child after windowing were often unable to find a husband. This was because ability to bear children was a very important requirement for women in this culture, and the windowing custom allowed them to prove their ability to others in the community. Some people are surprised when they learn of this old custom because they think people of southern Germany followed the Catholic （天主教的） religion beliefs, which teach marriage is a holy right given by God in order to create children. But the windowing custom is only one example of the surprising views of marriage that have existed around the world.
One view of marriage that surprises most of us today was held by John Noyes, a religious man who started the Oneida Community in the state of New York in 1831. Noyes decided that group marriage was the best way for men and women to live together. In this form of marriage, men and women changed partners frequently. They were expected to love all members of the community equally. Children belonged to all members of the community, and all the adults worked hard to support themselves and shared everything they had. Members of the Oneida Community lived together for a while without any serious problems; however, this way of life ended when John Noyes left in 1876. Without his leadership and special way of thinking, members of the community quickly returned to the traditional marriage of one woman and one man.
A more famous example of a different style of marriage is found among the Mormons. The group's first leader, Joseph Smith, believed that a man should be allowed to have several wives. As the Mormon church grew, many of the men followed Smith's teaching and married a number of wives. The Mormons believe that it is a woman's duty to marry at a young age and raise as many children as possible. For example, in 1854, one Mormon leader became a father nine times in one week when nine of his wives all had babies. Today the Mormon church teaches that marriage should involve one man and one woman as partners who will be together not only during this life but also forever.
Today some men agree with the old custom of having as many wives as desired. Some young lovers today dream of the former freedom of the Hopi, and some wish that a marriage counselor would help them find the perfect mate. Finding a spouse with whom we can spend a lifetime has always been an important concern. Despite all these unusual traditional ways of finding a marriage partner, one idea is the same throughout the world: Marriage is a basic and important part of human life.
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