107 The monogamists

The island Of Manhattan is a cozy village populated by seven million individuals, who all behave like they own the sidewalk.
But lately it seemed as if the city had been reduced to only two people... us.
Four-hour conversations flew by, and a few days apart felt like weeks.
I realized that Einstein's law of relativi-ty would have to be amended to ex-plain the peculiar effects of infatua-tion.
Hello?
I'm trying to reach a Miss Bradshaw.
She used to be a friend of mine.
Good morning.
Wait, I think I recognize that voice. I meant to call you, I've just been... Fucking your brains out?
Yeah, well, that's the least of it.
I don't think that I have been hit this hard since...
No, I won't compare it to anything, because everything else always ended.
Will I see you again?
yeah, how about tonight?
yeah, tonight.
I'll see if Charlotte and Samantha are free.
Big's got this dinner thing, so we didn't have any plans.
God, listen to yourself!
yeah, I know.
I've become a horrid woman.
Yes, you have.
I can't talk now, I'll call later. OK?
All right, bye.
As I hung up, I realized I'd committed the cardinal sin... I'd forsaken my girl-friends for my new boyfriend.
That night I faced the tribunal.
We really weren't that concerned.
just completely hurt and offended.
Actually, you missed a lot.
Miranda had worked on a big success-ful merger.
Samantha was obsessed with the idea of a new apartment.
And Charlotte... Charlotte was practi-cally engaged.
They met the day after I dropped off the edge of the earth.
He was Michael Conway, from a good family, and he absolutely adored Charlotte.
I think this might be it.
I think this might be the one.
We've met him, he's perfect.
Even his dog is perfect.
But... there is one thing.
Last night, after seeing the Philhar-monic, they went to his place and be-gan the classic dating ritual... the blow job tug of war.
Oh, come on.
Not tonight.
When?
Sometime.
The truth is, I hate doing it.
Honey, you can't be serious.
I only give head to get head.
Me, too.
A few hours and a couple of bottles later, vows of friendship renewed, we were almost out the door when...
Isn't that Mr. Big?
Yeah. I'm gonna go over and say hi.
Ditching us now Would be bad form.
I'm not gonna ditch you.
Surprise.
Hey, Carrie! How are you?
Good, good. I was just here with my posse having dinner, and I saw you.
Oh, Carrie, this is Julia Woods.
Julia, Carrie Bradshaw.
Nice to meet you.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Sure.
Excuse me.
Are you On a date?
Sort of.
You said you had a business thing tonight.
I said a dinner thing.
Well, she's stunning.
And I should know because frankly, she stunned me.
Enjoy your dinner.
are you OK?
Oh, sure. I was just, you know, I didn't realize you were dating other women.
Not a lot of other women.
Why don't we talk about this Satur-day?
Sure, sure. So...enjoy your dinner.
Oh, already said that.
Well, enjoy it twice.
Here we go.
I can't believe it, he's seeing other women!
Prick.
True, we had never discussed exclu-sivity.
While for me, seeing another man would be like trying to fit another out-fit into an over-stuffed suitcase, Big was dating another woman like it was the most natural thing in the world.
is it that men have an innate aversion to monogamy, or is it more than that?
I wondered. in a city like New York, with its infinite possibilities, has monogamy become too much to ex-pect?
I've been in a monogamous relation-ship for over a year.
It's been wonderfully fulfilling.
Of course, my definition of monogamy
includes sex with prostitutes.
The problem with monogamy, it's just so incredibly dull.
My lover and I have a kind of 90's monogamy.
We have sex with other people, but we don't exchange fluids or phone num-bers.
Hello.
Monogamy is fabulous.
It gives you a deep connection to an-other human being and you needn't shave your legs as much.
Of course, I'm monogamous.
Why, what have you heard?
This is the c-line.
This is the best in the building.
Have you ever seen any place like this? is this to die?
It's nice.
Hold this. Just a second.
Excuse me. Excuse me, was someone looking for a view?.
Oh, Pamela, it's beautiful, but it's a lit-tle out of my price... I know, I know. I just love to show the cr?e de la cr?e.
I'll break my ass for you, sweetheart.
I just want one small favor in return.
My first born?
No, sweetheart, I don't even want my own kids.
Promise not to work with another bro-ker.
Of course!
Samantha didn't believe in monogamy, especially with real estate agents.
This is a pre-war six. Notice the classic lines. Very solidly built.
Although Pamela had the hottest con-tacts in town, Rick did have a slight competitive edge.
Samantha could combine her two greatest loves - sex and real estate.
That afternoon I dragged my tortured
soul out to lunch with Stanford Blatch,
and attempted to stun it senseless with cosmopolitans.
Monogamy is out again.
It had a brief comeback in the '90s, but as the millennium approaches, every-one's leaving their options open.
Wouldn't you commit to a nice guy?
I can't even commit to a long distance carrier.
You know you're a whore.
I wish that were true.
Hey, Stanford.
Hey, Jared, how are you?
My book was well reviewed in Enter-tainment Weekly.
How marvelous. Oh, Jared, have you met Carrie Bradshaw?.
No, but I've read your column.
Nice shit.
Thanks.
You should write about me, my life's fucked up.
Jared is the writer of the book ''Avenue B''.
New York Magazine just named him one of the 30 coolest people under 30 in the city.
What an honor.
If they were doing the 30 sexiest wom-en under 30, you'd top the list.
You're quite the storyteller, aren't you?
That's no lie.
The magazine's party is tomorrow at Luna. I'll put your names at the door.
Thanks.
So you'll be there?
I'll do my best.
Groovy.
Ciao.
What was happening to me?
I used to get a rush when men hit on me during their 15 minutes of fame.
In this case, it merely felt exhausting.
Hello.
Well, Hello.
I'm calling to confirm tomorrow night. Are we still on?
Yeah, of course, why wouldn't we be?
I was striving for noncommittal, but I was worried I had just bordered on shrill.
I'll pick you up at eight.
Yeah, eight's fine.
I Miss you, baby.
yeah. me, too.
There were so many questions I want-ed him to answer, but would not ask.
Not tonight at least.
No, tonight I would ask Miranda.
He said, ''I miss you, baby.'' Was that
some kind of coded mea culpa?
Like, ''I've been an idiot. Forgive me for having dinner with another wom-an''?
Exactly.
could be.
So everything that he ever said that I thought was sincere is subjective.
So what I perceive as his feelings for me may only be projections of my feel-ings for him.
What?
Oh, God, I'm freaking. I gotta stop.
Hey, Carrie!
Hey!
Hey, you guys, great to see you.
What are you up to?
just hanging.
Alison, this is Miranda and Carrie.
Miranda and Carrie, this is Alison.
Hello.
I've heard so much about you.
me too.
We're big fans of your column at Vogue.
you work at Vogue?
yeah, designer relations.
Skipper and I just had the most incred-ible meal.
It's this little hole in the wall.
This Darling French bistro.
I lived a year in Paris and never ate so well, and cheap.
Really?
Go quick before The Times destroys it with a rave.
It's great to see you guys.
Yeah, great meeting you.
Goodnight.
Bye!
Who was That self-important bitch?
Skipper's new girlfriend.
She seemed all right.
I didn't think that was his type.
That's true, Miranda, you're his type.
But you broke up with him, remem-ber?
Something looks different.
Has he been working out?
Hey, Skipper here, leave me a mes-sage.
Hi, Skipper, it's Miranda.
I just wanted to say it was great run-ning into you today, and... You looked great. Did you do something different to you hair?
Hello? Miranda.
Hey, I can't talk right now.
That's OK. I just wanted to say maybe... I thought we could have dinner some night.
Seriously?
yeah, I Miss you.
I'll call you later.
is everything OK?
Alison, I think you're great...
But I've gotta be totally honest with you.
The woman who I think I love just called and asked me back.
You're breaking up with me while you're still inside of me?
As Skipper rededicated his singular af-fection for Miranda, Charlotte was re-ceiving her own declaration of monogamy.
What do you think about not seeing anyone else but each other?
Really?
yeah.
That might be a good idea.
I think it's the best idea I've ever had.
Well, in that case, absolutely.
And while Charlotte embraced fideli-ty, and Samantha flaunted her infideli-ty.. I found myself caught somewhere in between.
Who's crowded apartment are we in?
Max, he's an old friend of mine.
Becky is his second wife.
She's a doll, you'll love her.
Hey, there, stranger.
Melissa.
This is Carrie Bradshaw.
Hi. love your column, Never Miss it.
Thanks.
I've been trying to call you.
You still have my passport.
She's a friend I once traveled with.
lnternationally, I Would imagine.
Let's find Max.
Hey, Max!
Excuse me.
Glad you could make it.
Max, I want you to meet someone very special.
Julia.
Actually it's Carrie.
Carrie, well, welcome.
Carrie writes this fantastic column in The New York Star.
It's called Sex And The City.
Well, if you're looking for material, you're dating the right man.
Oh, thank you, Max, thank you very much.
Are we dating? I thought we were just sleeping together.
Well, I'm sure after tonight, we won't be doing much of either.
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
Carrie.
You've got to be kidding.
how many women are you dating?
in this area?
Well, let's see there's me, Julia, and let's not forget international Melissa.
I'm not doing this here.
Fine.
Can we just Enjoy The party?
I don't know.
Come on, what do you want from me?
What do I want from you?
Nothing.
I don't want anything from you.
I have to go, I'm sorry.
I felt like a fool. I had gone so far out on a limb with my feelings that I didn't realize I was standing out there alone.
When life gets this confusing, some-times there's only one thing to do, at-tend a fabulous party.
Hey, Stanford.
Carrie, what a surprise!
Where's...
Don't ask.
What happened?
he became predictable.
How predictable.
Hey, you made it.
Hey, Jared.
I'll get you a drink.
Cosmopolitan, Thanks.
in a room where everyone was gor-geous, cool, and under 30, monogamy suddenly seemed like a quaint notion.
That was so great.
Don't you want to lie like this forever?
Well, for a few minutes anyway.
I missed you. And I want you to know that that other woman doesn't mean a thing to me.
Oh, that's all right.
I don't mind if you keep seeing her.
Oh, God, no. I broke up with her the second that you called.
Skipper, you didn't have to do that.
Of course, I did.
I was so happy.
We were still doing it while I was talk-ing to you and I didn't realize.
You're kidding, right?
No, isn't that crazy?
Yeah, that's exactly what it is, crazy.
Listen, Skipper, I'm not ready for a full blown relationship thing.
What?
I mean we Can see each other and still see other people, right?
No. No, we can't. At least, I can't.
Why did you Call me back anyway?
I'm sorry, I thought.. I'm not your pri-vate stud horse,
Miss Dial-A-Fuck.
come here, come back.
I'm tired of being jerked around.
I hope you find what you're looking for. While Miranda misjudged the in-tensity of Skipper's feelings, Michael left Charlotte no doubt about his.
You're amazing.
You've got everything I'm looking for,
and I've never found before in one woman.
Brains, taste, class... And you're very, very, sexy.
Thank you.
Michael was upset, but Butterscotch seemed pleased.
She was finally back in her monoga-mous relationship.
Half past midnight.
in a city that never sleeps, neither did the real estate market.
It's beautiful.
isn't it?
It went on the market at midnight and you're the first one to see it.
Two bedrooms, pre-war, fireplace and views.
Everything you wanted.
I love it, I really love it.
I knew you would.
Let's celebrate.
Oh, my God! I can't believe that you are working with another broker.
I can't believe you weren't gonna show me this apartment.
3 am and I already had a new man in my life.
The greatest thing about writing, be-sides the validation and acclaim, is knowing that I'm pumping my ideas into the world.
I thought it was that you could behave like an asshole and people would find you amusing.
I'm in love with you, you know that?
I'm in love with you.
will you Go home with me tonight?
one minute, I have to make a call.
Hello.
I'm at this very cool party for very cool people under 30, and this very cool novelist wants to take me home.
What The hell happened to you?
his name is Jared.
He's really cute and really successful, and he just put his arms around me.
here, say hello, Jared.
hello, Jared.
That was Jared.
Carrie, just get over here.
No, you get over here.
I can't, I don't know where you are.
I'm at the Luna Park Cafe. Meet me out front, you're not on the list.
45 minutes later, I realized I was alone in a park at 3am.
And that it was time to call it a night.
What are you doing back here?
You said to meet out front. This is The front.
This isn't the front, this is the back.
I've been waiting out front for 30 god-damn minutes.
You see those doors? That's the front.
You were waiting at the street en-trance.
The street entrance is the front en-trance.
Depending on where you're coming from.
OK. I'm here, now, what's going on?
I've done the merry-go-round and the revolving door.
I feel like I met somebody I can stand still with for a minute and... Don't you want to stand still with me?
You dragged me out to a park to ask
me if I want to stand still with you?
Yes.
In a city of infinite options, sometimes there's no better feeling than knowing you only have one.