Everything has been figured out, except how to live.” - Jean-Paul Sartre

I’m nearly 35 years old, and I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life. I’m not a big believer in regrets … and I have learned tremendously from every single mistake … and my life is pretty great.

However, there are a few things I wish I had known when I was graduating from high school and starting out as an adult in life.

Would I change things? I’m not so sure. I might never have gotten into a mountain of debt, but then I wouldn’t have learned the amazing satisfaction of getting out of it. I might have made better career choices, but then I wouldn’t have all the work experience that makes me the blogger and writer that I am today.

I might not have gotten married that first time, so that I would never have gotten divorced … but then I wouldn’t have my first two beautiful wonderful incredible children from that first marriage.

I don’t think I would change any of that. However, looking back, there are some lessons I’ve learned that I would probably tell my 18-year-old self. Do I share them now to share my regrets? No, I share them in hopes that younger men and women, just starting out in life, can benefit from my mistakes and my lessons.

What follows isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s one that I hope proves useful to at least a few people.

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” - Jack Handey

Jean-Paul Sartre说“每件事情都已经算好了，除了如何生活”

我已经快35岁了，并且我已经分享了我生活中的错误。我不是强烈的忏悔主义追随者…我已经从每一个错误中吸取了极大的教训…并且我的生活现在相当好。

然而，有一些事情我希望在我高中毕业开始成人生活的时候就已经知道了。

我能改变事情么？我不确定。我本可以永远都不用欠下一屁股债，但是那样的话我可能永远都不知道从中解脱的痛快满足。我本可以有更好的职业选择，但是那样的话我不可能有所有这些使我今天成为一名博客写手和作家的工作经验。

我本可以不用洁第一次婚，那样我或许永远也不用离婚…但是那样的话我永远也不会有在第一次婚姻里得到的头两个漂亮精彩难以置信的孩子。

我知道我不能改变任何一个。但是，回顾过去，我学到的一些教训可以告诉那个十八岁的自己。我现在是在同我的忏悔分享他们么？不是的，我分享它们是希望那些刚刚开始生活的年轻男男女女能从我的错误和教训中受益。

下面说的并不完全，但是，我希望它至少能对一些人有用。

Jack Handey说“我希望生活不是一个大玩笑，因为我没有开过”

How to control impulse spending. If there’s anything that got me in trouble financially, it’s impulse spending. Buying clothes when I don’t need them. Buying gadgets because I gotta have them. Ordering stuff online because it’s so easy. Buying that new shiny SUV because … well, because it was going to help me with women. I’m not proud of any of that. I’ve learned to control my impulses, at least a little better. Now, I give myself some time to breathe. I think over my purchases, see if I’ve got the money, think about whether it’s a need or a want. That would have been a useful tool 15 years ago.

You gotta stay active. I was in track, cross country and basketball in high school, but once I started college, the running and basketball began to slowly fade away. Not right away — I played pick-up basketball for years after high school. But even that went away, until I became sedentary. Playing with my kids outdoors winded me. And I began to get fat. I’ve reversed that trend, and am very active now, but I’m still trying to burn the fat I gained in those inactive years.

How to plan finances. I always knew that I was supposed to budget and track my spending, when I became an adult. I just was too lazy to do it. And I didn’t have a good idea of how to actually do it. Now, I’ve learned how to plan, and how to stick to that plan. Sure, I deviate from my plan, but I’ve learned how to handle that too. Maybe that’s not a skill you can learn from book reading. You just gotta practice. Well, I hope to teach it to my children before they go out on their own.

Junk food will come back to bite you in the butt. Yeah, it wasn’t just the sedentary lifestyle that got me fat. It was all the damn junk food too. I would eat pizza and burgers and Twinkies and sugar cereal and desserts and donuts and … well, you get the picture. As someone used to being able to eat whatever I wanted, it never seemed like it would be a problem. Bad health was something to worry about when you got old. Well, my jeans began to get way too tight, and to my horror, I climbed several pants sizes and developed a gut that only now is going away. I wish someone had shown me an “after” picture when I was young and downing the Big Gulp sodas.

Smoking is just dumb. I didn’t start smoking until I was well into my adult years. I won’t go into why I started, but it didn’t seem like a problem, because I knew I could quit anytime I wanted. Or I thought I could, at least, until several years later I gave it a go and couldn’t do it. Five failed quits later and I realized with horror that my addiction was stronger than I was. Sure, I eventually beat the habit (quit date: Nov. 18, 2005) but it took a piece of my soul to do it.

1. 如何控制乱花钱。 如果有什么事情使我陷入经济危机，那就是乱花钱。买我并不需要的衣服，买小玩意因为我想要，因为方便就网上购物，买新的闪亮SUV因为…，恩，因为它能使我帮助妇女。我并不因任何一件而自豪。我已经学会控制不乱花钱，至少是好点了。现在，我给自己一些时间来喘息。我回想我的购物，假如我得到了这些钱，它是一种必须还是一种需要。这本该是15年前一种得力的思考方式。

2. 你要活得积极些。 在高中的时候我出现在小道上田野间篮球场上，可是一旦开始大学生活，漫跑和篮球开始慢慢的退出。没有很快，但是高中毕业后我还是在业余篮球队里打了几年。但是即使那些也成为了过去，直到我成为久坐者。和孩子在室外玩耍令我得到了喘息，并且那时候我开始变胖，我已经保留了那种趋势现在很活跃，但是我仍然试着燃烧掉在那些不活跃岁月里积累下的脂肪。

3.如何进行财政规划 当我成为成年人的时候我一直都知道我应该预算并记录自己的花费，我只是懒得去做。并且我也不知道如何去做。现在我已经学会如何来规划以及如何按照这个规划来做。当然，我会达不到计划目标，但是我已经学会如何来处理这样的事情。这可能是你从书本上学不到的技巧。你可以试着去做一下。恩，我希望在我孩子独立之前把这项技术教给他们。

4.垃圾食品最终会回来咬你。 是的，不光是常坐不起的生活方式让我发胖，所有那些该死的垃圾食品也是罪魁祸首。我会吃披萨，汉堡，Twinkies，甜麦片，甜点心，甜甜圈，等等啦，你可以想象的。一个人可以习惯吃我想吃的每个东西，这从来不是什么问题。当你变老的时候不健康就是你会担心的事情。恩 ，我的牛仔开始变紧，让我自豪的是，我过去爬几步就气喘吁吁，肚子也打了，而现在，这些都没有了。我希望有人能在我年轻的时候当我大口喝苏打水的时候给我看看之后的效果图。

5.吸烟是愚蠢的。知道我成年我才开始吸烟。我不想说为什么开始吸烟，但是这对我来说不是什么问题，因为我知道我能在任何我想戒烟的时候把烟戒掉。或者至少当时我是这么认为的，直到几年之后我试着戒烟但是没有成功。失败了五次之后，我很惊恐的意识到我的烟瘾比我想象的要强烈的多。当然，哦哦最终戒掉了这个坏习惯（戒掉烟瘾纪念日：2005年11月18日）但是，这的确费了我不少精神。

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