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They had two Canoes with them, which they had haled up upon the Shore; and as it was then Tide of Ebb, they seem'd to me to wait for the Return of the Flood, to go away again; it is not easy to imagine what Confusion this Sight put me into, especially seeing them come on my Side the Island, and so near me too; but when I observ'd their coming must be always with the Current of the Ebb, I began afterwards to be more sedate in my Mind, being satisfy'd that I might go abroad with Safety all the Time of the Tide of Flood, if they were not on Shore before: And having made this Observation, I went abroad about my Harvest Work with the more Composure.
As I expected, so it prov'd; for as soon as the Tide made to the Westward, I saw them all take Boat, and row (or paddle as we call it) all away: I should have observ'd, that for an Hour and more before they went off, they went to dancing, and I could easily discern their Postures, and Gestures, by my Glasses: I could not perceive by my nicest Observation, but that they were stark naked, and had not the least covering upon them; but whether they were Men or Women, that I could not distinguish.
As soon as I saw them shipp'd, and gone, I took two Guns upon my Shoulders, and two Pistols at my Girdle, and my great Sword by my Side, without a Scabbard, and with all the Speed I was able to make, I went away to the Hill, where I had discover'd the first Appearance of all; and as soon as I gat thither, which was not less than two Hours (for I could not go apace, being so loaden with Arms as I was) I perceiv'd there had been three Canoes more of Savages on that Place; and looking out farther, I saw they were all at Sea together, making over for the Main.
This was a dreadful Sight to me, especially when going down to the Shore, I could see the Marks of Horror, which the dismal Work they had been about had left behind it, viz. The Blood, the Bones, and part of the Flesh of humane Bodies, eaten and devour'd by those Wretches, with Merriment and Sport: I was so fill'd with Indignation at the Sight, that I began now to premeditate the Destruction of the next that I saw there, let them be who, or how many soever.
It seem'd evident to me, that the Visits which they thus make to this Island, are not very frequent; for it was above fifteen Months before any more of them came on Shore there again; that is to say, I neither saw them, or any Footsteps, or Signals of them, in all that Time; for as to the rainy Seasons, then they are sure not to come abroad, at least not so far; yet all this while I liv'd uncomfortably, by reason of the constant Apprehensions I was in of their coming upon me by Surprize; from whence I observe, that the Expectation of Evil is more bitter than the Suffering, especially if there is no room to shake off that Expectation, or those Apprehensions.
During all this Time, I was in the murthering Humour; and took up most of my Hours, which should have been better employ'd, in contriving how to circumvent, and fall upon them, the very next Time I should see them; especially if they should be divided, as they were the last Time, into two Parties; nor did I consider at all, that if I kill'd one Party, suppose Ten, or a Dozen, I was still the next Day, or Week, or Month, to kill another, and so another, even ad infinitum, till I should be at length no less a Murtherer than they were in being Man-eaters; and perhaps much more so.
I spent my Days now in great Perplexity, and Anxiety of Mind, expecting that I should one Day or other fall into the Hands of these merciless Creatures; and if I did at any Time venture abroad, it was not without looking round me with the greatest Care and Caution imaginable; and now I found to my great Comfort, how happy it was that I provided for a tame Flock or Herd of Goats; for I durst not upon any account fire my Gun, especially near that Side of the Island where they usually came, least I should alarm the Savages; and if they had fled from me now, I was sure to have them come back again, with perhaps two or three hundred Canoes with them, in a few Days, and then I knew what to expect.
However, I wore out a Year and three Months more, before I ever saw any more of the Savages, and then I found them again, as I shall soon observe. It is true, they might have been there once, or twice; but either they made no stay, or at least I did not hear them; but in the Month of May, as near as I could calculate, and in my four and twentieth Year, I had a very strange Encounter with them, of which in its Place.
The Perturbation of my Mind, during this fifteen or sixteen Months Interval, was very great; I slept unquiet, dream'd always frightful Dreams, and often started out of my Sleep in the Night: In the Day great Troubles overwhelm'd my Mind, and in the Night I dream'd often of killing the Savages, and of the Reasons why I might justify the doing of it; but to wave all this for a while; it was in the middle of May, on the sixteenth Day I think, as well as my poor wooden Calendar would reckon; for I markt all upon the Post still; I say, it was the sixteenth of May, that it blew a very great Storm of Wind, all Day, with a great deal of Lightning, and Thunder, and a very foul Night it was after it; I know not what was the particular Occasion of it; but as I was reading in the Bible, and taken up with very serious Thoughts about my present Condition, I was surpriz'd with a Noise of a Gun as I thought fir'd at Sea.
This was to be sure a Surprize of a quite different Nature from any I had met with before; for the Notions this put into my Thoughts, were quite of another kind. I started up in the greatest hast imaginable, and in a trice clapt my Ladder to the middle Place of the Rock, and pull'd it after me, and mounting it the second Time, got to the Top of the Hill, the very Moment, that a Flash of Fire bid me listen for a second Gun, which accordingly, in about half a Minute I heard; and by the sound, knew that it was from that Part of the Sea where I was driven down the Current in my Boat.
I immediately consider'd that this must be some Ship in Distress, and that they had some Comrade, or some other Ship in Company, and fir'd these Guns for Signals of Distress, and to obtain Help: I had this Presence of Mind at that Minute, as to think that though I could not help them, it may be they might help me; so I brought together all the dry Wood I could get at hand, and making a good handsome Pile, I set it on Fire upon the Hill; the Wood was dry, and blaz'd freely; and though the Wind blew very hard, yet it burnt fairly out; that I was certain, if there was any such Thing as a Ship, they must needs see it, and no doubt they did; for as soon as ever my Fire blaz'd up, I heard another Gun, and after that several others, all from the same Quarter; I ply'd my Fire all Night long, till Day broke; and when it was broad Day, and the Air clear'd up, I saw something at a great Distance at Sea, full East of the Island, whether a Sail, or a Hull, I could not distinguish, no not with my Glasses, the Dna was so great, and the Weather still something haizy also; at least it was so out at Sea.
I look'd frequently at it all that Day, and soon perceiv'd that it did not move; so I presently concluded, that it was a Ship at an Anchor, and being eager, you may be sure, to be satisfy'd, I took my Gun in my Hand, and run toward the South Side of the Island, to the Rocks where I had formerly been carry'd away with the Current, and getting up there, the Weather by this Time being perfectly clear, I could plainly see to my great Sorrow, the Wreck of a Ship cast away in the Night, upon those concealed Rocks which I found, when I was out in my Boat; and which Rocks, as they check'd the Violence of the Stream, and made a kind of Counter-stream, or Eddy, were the Occasion of my recovering from the most desperate hopeless Condition that ever I had been in, in all my Life.
Thus what is one Man's Safety, is another Man's Destruction; for it seems these Men, whoever they were, being out of their Knowledge, and the Rocks being wholly under Water, had been driven upon them in the Night, the Wind blowing hard at E. and E.N.E: Had they seen the Island, as I must necessarily suppose they did not, they must, as I thought, have endeavour'd to have sav'd themselves on Shore by the Help of their Boat; but their firing of Guns for Help, especially when they saw, as I imagin'd, my Fire, fill'd me with many Thoughts: First, I imagin'd that upon seeing my Light, they might have put themselves into their Boat, and have endeavour'd to make the Shore; but that the Sea going very high, they might have been cast away; other Times I imagin'd, that they might have lost their Boat before, as might be the Case many Ways; as particularly by the Breaking of the Sea upon their Ship, which many Times obliges Men to stave, or take in Pieces their Boat; and sometimes to throw it over-board with their own Hands: Other Times I imagin'd, they had some other Ship, or Ships in Company, who upon the Signals of Distress they had made, had taken them up, and carry'd them off: Other whiles I fancy'd, they were all gone off to Sea in their Boat, and being hurry'd away by the Current that I had been formerly in, were carry'd out into the great Ocean, where there was nothing but Misery and Perishing; and that perhaps they might by this Time think of starving, and of being in a Condition to eat one another.
As all these were but Conjectures at best; so in the Condition I was in, I could do no more than look on upon the Misery of the poor Men, and pity them, which had still this good Effect on my Side, that it gave me more and more Cause to give Thanks to God who had so happily and comfortably provided for me in my desolate Condition; and that of two Ships Companies who were now cast away upon this part of the World, not one Life should be spar'd but mine: I learn'd here again to observe, that it is very rare that the Providence of God casts us into any Condition of Life so low, or any Misery so great, but we may see something or other to be thankful for; and may see others in worse Circumstances than our own.
Such certainly was the Case of these Men, of whom I could not so much as see room to suppose any of them were sav'd; nothing could make it rational, so much as to wish, or expect that they did not all perish there; except the Possibility only of their being taken up by another Ship in Company, and this was but meer Possibility indeed; for I saw not the least Signal or Appearance of any such Thing.
I cannot explain by any possible Energy of Words, what a strange longing or hankering of Desires I felt in my Soul upon this Sight; breaking out sometimes thus; O that there had been but one or two; nay, or but one Soul sav'd out of this Ship, to have escap'd to me, that I might but have had one Companion, one Fellow-Creature to have spoken to me, and to have convers'd with! In all the Time of my solitary Life I never felt so earnest, so strong a Desire after the Society of my Fellow-Creatures, or so deep a Regret at the want of it.
There are some secret moving Springs in the Affections, which when they are set a going by some Object in view, or be it some Object, though not in view, yet rendred present to the Mind by the Power of Imagination, that Motion' carries out the Soul by its Impetuosity to such violent eager embracings of the Object, that the Absence of it is insupportable.
Such were these earnest Wishings, That but one Man had been sav'd! O that it had been but One! I believe I repeated the Words, O that it had been but One! A thousand Times; and the Desires were so mov'd by it, that when I spoke the Words, my Hands would clinch together, and my Fingers press the Palms of my Hands, that if I had had any soft Thing in my Hand, it wou'd have crusht it involuntarily; and my Teeth in my Head wou'd strike together, and set against one another so strong, that for some time I cou'd not part them again.
Let the Naturalists explain these Things, and the Reason and Manner of them; all I can say to them, is, to describe the Fact, which was even surprising to me when I found it; though I knew not from what it should proceed; it was doubtless the effect of ardent Wishes, and of strong Ideas form'd in my Mind, realizing the Comfort, which the Conversation of one of my Fellow-Christians would have been to me.
But it was not to be; either their Fate or mine, or both, forbid it; for till the last Year of my being on this Island, I never knew whether any were saved out of that Ship or no; and had only the Affliction some Days after, to see the Corps of a drownded Boy come on Shore, at the End of the Island which was next the Shipwreck: He had on no Cloaths, but a Seaman's Wastcoat, a pair of open knee'd Linnen Drawers, and a blew Linnen Shirt; but nothing to direct me so much as to guess what Nation he was of: He had nothing in his Pocket, but two Pieces of Eight, and a Tobacco Pipe; the last was to me of ten times more value than the first.
It was now calm, and I had a great mind to venture out in my Boat, to this Wreck; not doubting but I might find something on board, that might be useful to me; but that did not altogether press me so much, as the Possibility that there might be yet some living Creature on board, whose Life I might not only save, but might by saving that Life, comfort my own to the last Degree; and this Thought clung so to my Heart, that I could not be quiet, Night or Day, but I must venture out in my Boat on board this Wreck; and committing the rest to God's Providence, I thought the Impression was so strong upon my Mind, that it could not be resisted, that it must come from some invisible Direction, and that I should be wanting to my self if I did not go.
Under the Power of this Impression, I hasten'd back to my Castle, prepar'd every Thing for my Voyage, took a Quantity of Bread, a great Pot for fresh Water, a Compass to steer by, a Bottle of Rum; for I had still a great deal of that left; a Basket full of Raisins: And thus loading my self with every Thing necessary, I went down to my Boat, got the Water out of her, and got her afloat, loaded all my Cargo in her, and then went Home again for more; my second Cargo was a great Bag full of Rice, the Umbrella to set up over my Head for Shade; another large Pot full of fresh Water, and about two Dozen of my small Loaves, or Barley Cakes, more than before, with a Bottle of Goats-Milk, and a Cheese; all which, with great Labour and Sweat, I brought to my Boat; and praying to God to direct my Voyage, I put out, and Rowing or Padling the Canoe along the Shore, I came at last to the utmost Point of the Island on that Side, (viz.) N. E. And now I was to launch out into the Ocean, and either to venture, or not to venture. I look'd on the rapid Currents which ran constantly on both Sides of the Island, at a Distance, and which were very terrible to me, from the Remembrance of the Hazard I had been in before, and my Heart began to fail me; for I foresaw that if I was driven into either of those Currents, I should be carry'd a vast Way out to Sea, and perhaps out of my Reach, or Sight of the Island again; and that then, as my Boat was but small, if any little Gale of Wind should rise, I should be inevitably lost.
These Thoughts so oppress'd my Mind, that I began to give over my Enterprize, and having haled my Boat into a little Creek on the Shore, I stept out, and sat me down upon a little rising bit of Ground, very pensive and anxious, between Fear and Desire about my Voyage; when as I was musing, I could perceive that the Tide was turn'd, and the Flood come on, upon which my going was for so many Hours impracticable; upon this presently it occurr'd to me, that I should go up to the highest Piece of Ground I could find, and observe, if I could, how the Sets of the Tide, or Currents lay, when the Flood came in, that I might judge whether if I was driven one way out, I might not expect to be driven another way home, with the same Rapidness of the Currents: This Thought was no sooner in my Head, but I cast my Eye upon a little Hill, which sufficiently over-look'd the Sea both ways, and from whence I had a clear view of the Currents, or Sets of the Tide, and which way I was to guide my self in my Return; here I found, that as the Current of the Ebb set out close by the South Point of the Island; so the Current of the Flood set in close by the Shore of the North Side, and that I had nothing to do but to keep to the North of the Island in my Return, and I should do well enough.
Encourag'd with this Observation, I resolv'd the next Morning to set out with the first of the Tide; and reposing my self for the Night in the Canoe, under the great Watch-coat, I mention'd, I launched out: I made first a little out to Sea full North, till I began to feel the Benefit of the Current, which set Eastward, and which carry'd me at a great rate, and yet did not so hurry me as the Southern Side Current had done before, and so as to take from me all Government of the Boat; but having a strong Steerage with my Paddle, I went at a great rate, directly for the Wreck, and in less than two Hours I came up to it.
It was a dismal Sight to look at: The Ship, which by its building was Spanish, stuck fast, jaum'd in between two Rocks; all the Stern and Quarter of her was beaten to pieces, with the Sea; and as her Forecastle, which stuck in the Rocks, had run on with great Violence, her Mainmast and Foremast were brought by the Board; that is to say, broken short off; but her Boltsprit was found, and the Head and Bow appear'd firm; when I came close to her, a Dog appear'd upon her, who seeing me coming, yelp'd, and cry'd; and as soon as I call'd him, jump'd into the Sea, to come to me, and I took him into the Boat; but found him almost dead for Hunger and Thirst: I gave him a Cake of my Bread, and he eat it like a ravenous Wolf, that had been starving a Fortnight in the Snow: I then gave the poor Creature some fresh Water, with which, if I would have let him, he would have burst himself.
After this I went on board; but the first Sight I met with, was two Men drown'd, in the Cookroom, or Forecastle of the Ship, with their Arms fast about one another: I concluded, as is indeed probable, that when the Ship struck, it being in a Storm, the Sea broke so high, and so continually over her, that the Men were not able to bear it, and were strangled with the constant rushing in of the Water, as much as if they had been under Water. Besides the Dog, there was nothing left in the Ship that had Life; nor any Goods that I could see, but what were spoil'd by the Water. There were some Casks of Liquor, whether Wine or Brandy, I knew not, which lay lower in the Hold; and which, the Water being ebb'd out, I could see; but they were too big to meddle with: I saw several Chests, which I believ'd belong'd to some of the Seamen; and I got two of them into the Boat, without examining what was in them.
Had the Stern of the Ship been fix'd, and the Forepart broken off, I am perswaded I might have made a good Voyage; for by what I found in these two Chests, I had room to suppose, the Ship had a great deal of Wealth on board; and if I may guess by the Course she steer'd, she must have been bound from the Buenos Ayres, or the Rio de la Plata, in the South Part of America, beyond the Brasils, to the Havana, in the Gulph of Mexico, and so perhaps to Spain: She had no doubt a great Treasure in her; but of no use at that time to any body; and what became of the rest of her People, I then knew not.
I found besides these Chests, a little Cask full of Liquor, of about twenty Gallons, which I got into my Boat, with much Difficulty; there were several Muskets in a Cabin, and a great Powder-horn, with about 4 Pounds of Powder in it; as for the Muskets, I had no occasion for them; so I left them, but took the Powder-horn: I took a Fire Shovel and Tongs, which I wanted extremely; as also two little Brass Kettles, a Copper Pot to make Chocolate, and a Gridiron; with this Cargo, and the Dog, I came away, the Tide beginning to make home again; and the same Evening, about an Hour within Night, I reach'd the Island again, weary and fatigu'd to the last Degree.
I repos'd that Night in the Boat, and in the Morning I resolved to harbour what I had gotten in my new Cave, not to carry it home to my Castle. After refreshing my self, I got all my Cargo on Shore, and began to examine the Particulars: The Cask of Liquor I found to be a kind of Rum, but not such as we had at the Brasils; and in a Word, not at all good; but when I came to open the Chests, I found several Things, of great use to me: For Example, I found in one, a fine Case of Bottles, of an extraordinary kind, and fill'd with Cordial Waters, fine, and very good; the Bottles held about three Pints each, and were tipp'd with Silver: I found two Pots of very good Succades, or Sweetmeats, so fastned also on top, that the Salt Water had not hurt them; and two more of the same, which the Water had spoil'd: I found some very good Shirts, which were very welcome to me; and about a dozen and half of Linnen white Handkerchiefs, and colour'd Neckcloths; the former were also very welcome, being exceeding refreshing to wipe my Face in a hot Day; besides this, when I came to the Till in the Chest, I found there three great Bags of Pieces of Eight, which held about eleven hundred Pieces in all; and in one of them, wrapt up in a Paper, six Doubloons of Gold, and some small Bars or Wedges of Gold; I suppose they might all weigh near a Pound.
The other Chest I found had some Cloaths in it, but of little Value; but by the Circumstances it must have belong'd to the Gunner's Mate; though there was no Powder in it; but about two Pound of fine glaz'd Powder, in three small Flasks, kept, I suppose, for charging their Fowling-Pieces on occasion: Upon the whole, I got very little by this Voyage, that was of any use to me; for as to the Money, I had no manner of occasion for it: 'Twas to me as the Dirt under my Feet; and I would have given it all for three or four pair of English Shoes and Stockings, which were Things I greatly wanted, but had not had on my Feet now for many Years: I had indeed gotten two pair of Shoes now, which I took off of the Feet of the two drown'd Men, who I saw in the Wreck; and I found two pair more in one of the Chests, which were very welcome to me; but they were not like our English Shoes, either for Ease, or Service; being rather what we call Pumps, than Shoes: I found in this Seaman's Chest, about fifty Pieces of Eight in Ryals, but no Gold; I suppose this belong'd to a poorer Man than the other, which seem'd to belong to some Officer.
Well, however, I lugg'd this Money home to my Cave, and laid it up, as I had done that before, which I brought from our own Ship; but it was great Pity as I said, that the over Part of this Ship had not come to my Share; for I am satisfy'd I might have loaded my Canoe several Times over with Money, which if I had ever escap'd to England, would have lain here safe enough, till I might have come again and fetch'd it.
Having now brought all my Things on Shore, and secur'd them, I went back to my Boat, and row'd, or paddled her along the Shore, to her old Harbour, where I laid her up, and made the best of my way to my old Habitation, where I found every thing safe and quiet; so I began to repose my self, live after my old fashion, and take care of my Family Affairs; and for a while, I liv'd easy enough; only that I was more vigilant than I us'd to be, look'd out oftner, and did not go abroad so much; and if at any time I did stir with any Freedom, it was always to the East Part of the Island, where I was pretty well satisfy'd the Savages never came, and where I could go without so many Precautions, and such a Load of Arms and Ammunition, as I always carry'd with me, if I went the other way.
I liv'd in this Condition near two Years more; but my unlucky Head, that was always to let me know it was born to make my Body miserable, was all this two Years fill'd with Projects and Designs, how, if it were possible, I might get away from this Island; for sometimes I was for making another Voyage to the Wreck, though my Reason told me that there was nothing left there, worth the Hazard of my Voyage: Sometimes for a Ramble one way, sometimes another; and I believe verily, if I had had the Boat that I went from Sallee in, I should have ventur'd to Sea, bound any where, I knew not whither.
I have been in all my Circumstances a Memento to those who are touch'd with the general Plague of Mankind, whence, for ought I know, one half of their Miseries flow; I mean, that of not being satisfy'd with the Station wherein God and Nature has plac'd them; for not to look back upon my primitive Condition, and the excellent Advice of my Father, the Opposition to which, was, as I may call it, my ORIGINAL SIN; my subsequent Mistakes of the same kind had been the Means of my coming into this miserable Condition; for had that Providence, which so happily had seated me at the Brasils, as a Planter, bless'd me with confin'd Desires, and I could have been contented to have gone on gradually, I might have been by this Time; I mean, in the Time of my being in this Island, one of the most considerable Planters in the Brasils, nay, I am perswaded, that by the Improvements I had made, in that little Time I liv'd there, and the Encrease I should probably have made, if I had stay'd, I might have been worth an hundred thousand Moydors; and what Business had I to leave a settled Fortune, a well stock'd Plantation, improving and encreasing, to turn Supra-Cargo to Guinea, to fetch Negroes; when Patience and Time would have so encreas'd our Stock at Home, that we could have bought them at our own Door, from those whose Business it was to fetch them; and though it had cost us something more, yet the Difference of that Price was by no Means worth saving, at so great a Hazard.
But as this is ordinarily the Fate of young Heads, so Reflection upon the Folly of it, is as ordinarily the Exercise of more years, or of the dear bought Experience of Time; and so it was with me now; and yet so deep had the Mistake taken root in my Temper, that I could not satisfy my self in my Station, but was continually poring upon the Means, and Possibility of my Escape from this Place; and that I may with the greater Pleasure to the Reader, bring on the remaining Part of my Story, it may not be improper, to give some Account of my first Conceptions on the Subject of this foolish Scheme, for my Escape; and how, and upon what Foundation I acted.
I am now to be suppos'd retir'd into my Castle, after my late Voyage to the Wreck, my Frigate laid up, and secur'd under Water, as usual, and my Condition restor'd to what it was before: I had more Wealth indeed than I had before, but was not at all the richer; for I had no more use for it, than the Indians of Peru had, before the Spaniards came there.
It was one of the Nights in the rainy Season in March, the four and twentieth Year of my first setting Foot in this Island of Solitariness; I was lying in my Bed, or Hammock, awake, very well in Health, had no Pain, no Distemper, no Uneasiness of Body; no, nor any Uneasiness of Mind, more than ordinary; but could by no means close my Eyes; that is, so as to sleep; no, not a Wink all Night long, otherwise than as follows:
It is as impossible, as needless, to set down the innumerable Crowd of Thoughts that whirl'd through that great thorow-fare of the Brain, the Memory, in this Night's Time: I run over the whole History of my Life in Miniature, or by Abridgment, as I may call it, to my coming to this Island; and also of the Part of my Life, since I came to this Island. In my Reflections upon the State of my Case, since I came on Shore on this Island, I was comparing the happy Posture of my Affairs, in the first Years of my Habitation here, compar'd to the Life of Anxiety, Fear and Care, which I had liv'd ever since I had seen the Print of a Foot in the Sand; not that I did not believe the Savages had frequented the Island even all the while, and might have been several Hundreds of them at Times on Shore there; but I had never known it, and was incapable of any Apprehensions about it; my Satisfaction was perfect, though my Danger was the same; and I was as happy in not knowing my Danger, as if I had never really been expos'd to it: This furnish'd my Thoughts with many very profitable Reflections, and particularly this one, How infinitely Good that Providence is, which has provided in its Government of Mankind, such narrow bounds to his Sight and Knowledge of Things, and though he walks in the midst of so many thousand Dangers, the Sight of which, if discover'd to him, would distract his Mind, and sink his Spirits; he is kept serene, and calm, by having the Events of Things hid from his Eyes, and knowing nothing of the Dangers which surround him.
After these Thoughts had for some Time entertain'd me, I came to reflect seriously upon the real Danger I had been In, for so many Years, in this very Island; and how I had walk'd about in the greatest Security, and with all possible Tranquillity; even when perhaps nothing but a Brow of a Hill, a great Tree, or the casual Approach of Night, had been between me and the worst kind of Destruction, viz. That of falling into the Hands of Cannibals, and Savages, who would have seiz'd on me with the same View, as I did of a Goat, or a Turtle; and have thought it no more a Crime to kill and devour me, than I did of a Pidgeon, or a Curlieu: I would unjustly slander my self, if I should say I was not sincerely thankful to my great Preserver, to whose singular Protection I acknowledg'd, with great Humility, that all these unknown Deliverances were due; and without which, I must inevitably have fallen into their merciless Hands.
When these Thoughts were over, my Head was for some time taken up in considering the Nature of these wretched Creatures; I mean, the Savages; and how it came to pass in the World, that the wise Governour of all Things should give up any of his Creatures to such Inhumanity; nay, to something so much below, even Brutality it self, as to devour its own kind; but as this ended in some (at that Time fruitless) Speculations, it occurr'd to me to enquire, what Part of the World these Wretches liv'd in; how far off the Coast was from whence they came; what they ventur'd over so far from home for; what kind of Boats they had; and why I might not order my self, and my Business so, that I might be as able to go over thither, as they were to come to me.
I never so much as troubl'd my self to consider what I should do with my self, when I came thither; what would become of me, if I fell into the Hands of the Savages; or how I should escape from them, if they attempted me; no, nor so much as how it was possible for me to reach the Coast, and not be attempted by some or other of them, without any Possibility of delivering my self; and if I should not fall into their Hands, what I should do for Provision, or whither I should bend my Course; none of these Thoughts, I say, so much as came in my way; but my Mind was wholly bent upon the Notion of my passing over in my Boat, to the Main Land: I look'd back upon my present Condition, as the most miserable that could possibly be, that I was not able to throw my self into any thing but Death, that could be call'd worse; that if I reached the Shore of the Main, I might perhaps meet with Relief, or I might coast along, as I did on the Shore of Africk, till I came to some inhabited Country, and where I might find some Relief; and after all perhaps, I might fall in with some Christian Ship, that might take me in; and if the worse came to the worst, I could but die, which would put an end to all these Miseries at once. Pray note, all this was the fruit of a disturb'd Mind, an impatient Temper, made as it were desperate by the long Continuance of my Troubles, and the Disappointments I had met in the Wreck, I had been on board of; and where I had been so near the obtaining what I so earnestly long'd for, viz. Some-body to speak to, and to learn some Knowledge from of the Place where I was, and of the probable Means of my Deliverance; I say, I was agitated wholly by these Thoughts: All my Calm of Mind in my Resignation to Providence, and waiting the Issue of the Dispositions of Heaven, seem'd to be suspended; and I had, as it were, no Power to turn my Thoughts to any thing, but to the Project of a Voyage to the Main, which came upon me with such Force, and such an Impetuosity of Desire, that it was not to be resisted.
When this had agitated my Thoughts for two Hours, or more, with such Violence, that it set my very Blood into a Ferment, and my Pulse beat as high as if I had been in a Feaver, meerly with the extraordinary Fervour of my Mind about it; Nature, as if I had been fatigued and exhausted with the very Thought of it, threw me into a sound Sleep; one would have thought, I should have dream'd of it: But I did not, nor of any Thing relating to it; but I dream'd, that as I was going out in the Morning as usual from my Castle, I saw upon the Shore, two Canoes, and eleven Savages coming to Land, and that they brought with them another Savage, who they were going to kill, in Order to eat him; when on a sudden, the Savage that they were going to kill, jumpt away, and ran for his Life; and I thought in my Sleep, that he came running into my little thick Grove, before my Fortification, to hide himself; and that I seeing him alone, and not perceiving that the other sought him that Way, show'd my self to him, and smiling upon him, encourag'd him; that he kneel'd down to me, seeming to pray me to assist him; upon which I shew'd my Ladder, made him go up, and carry'd him into my Cave, and he became my Servant; and that as soon as I had gotten this Man, I said to my self, now I may certainly venture to the main Land; for this Fellow will serve me as a Pilot, and will tell me what to do, and whether to go for Provisions; and whether not to go for fear of being devoured, what Places to venture into, and what to escape: I wak'd with this Thought, and was under such inexpressible Impressions of Joy, at the Prospect of my Escape in my Dream, that the Disappointments which I felt upon coming to my self, and finding it was no more than a Dream, were equally extravagant the other Way, and threw me into a very great Dejection of Spirit.
Upon this however, I made this Conclusion, that my Only Way to go about an Attempt for an Escape, was, if possible, to get a Savage into my Possession; and if possible, it should be one of their Prisoners, who they had condemn'd to be eaten, and should bring thither to kill; but these Thoughts still were attended with this Difficulty, that it was impossible to effect this, without attacking a whole Caravan of them, and killing them all; and this was not only a very desperate Attempt, and might miscarry; but on the other Hand, I had greatly scrupled the Lawfulness of it to me; and my Heart trembled at the thoughts of shedding so much Blood, tho' it was for my Deliverance. I need not repeat the Arguments which occurr'd to me against this, they being the same mention'd before; but tho' I had other Reasons to offer now (viz.) that those Men were Enemies to my Life, and would devour me, if they could; that it was Self-preservation in the highest Degree, to deliver my self from this Death of a Life, and was acting in my own Defence, as much as if they were actually assaulting me, and the like. I say, tho' these Things argued for it, yet the Thoughts of shedding Humane Blood for my Deliverance, were very Terrible to me, and such as I could by no Means reconcile my self to, a great while.
However at last, after many secret Disputes with my self, and after great Perplexities about it, for all these Arguments one Way and another struggl'd in my Head a long Time, the eager prevailing Desire of Deliverance at length master'd all the rest; and I resolv'd, if possible, to get one of those Savages into my Hands, cost what it would. My next Thing then was to contrive how to do it, and this indeed was very difficult to resolve on: But as I could pitch upon no probable Means for it, so I resolv'd to put my self upon the Watch, to see them when they came on Shore, and leave the rest to the Event, taking such Measures as the Opportunity should present, let be what would be.
With these Resolutions in my Thoughts, I set my self upon the Scout, as often as possible, and indeed so often till I was heartily tir'd of it, for it was above a Year and Half that I waited, and for great part of that Time went out to the West End, and to the South West Corner of the Island, almost every Day, to see for Canoes, but none appear'd. This was very discouraging, and began to trouble me much, tho' I cannot say that it did in this Case, as it had done some time before that, (viz.) wear off the Edge of my Desire to the Thing. But the longer it seem'd to be delay'd, the more eager I was for it; in a Word, I was not at first so careful to shun the sight of these Savages, and avoid being seen by them, as I was now eager to be upon them.
Besides, I fancied my self able to manage One, nay, Two or Three Savages, if I had them so as to make them entirely Slaves to me, to do whatever I should direct them, and to prevent their being able at any time to do me any Hurt. It was a great while, that I pleas'd my self with this Affair, but nothing still presented; all my Fancies and Schemes came to nothing, for no Savages came near me for a great while.
他们有两只独木舟,已经拉到岸上。那时正好退潮,他们大概要等潮水回来后再走。看到这一情景,我内心慌乱极了;尤其是发现他们到了小岛的这一边,离我住所那么近,很难想象我是多么惊慌失措啊!但我后来注意到,他们一定得趁着潮水上岛。这一发现使我稍稍安心了一点。只要他们不在岸上,我在涨潮期间外出是绝对安全的。知道这一点,我以后就可以外出安安心心地收获我的庄稼了。
事情果然不出我所料,当潮水开始西流时,他们就上船划桨离去了。在离开前,他们还跳了一个多小时的舞。从我的望远镜里,可以清楚地看到他们手舞足蹈的样子。我还可以看到他们都赤身裸体,一丝不挂,可是是男是女,怎么仔细看也分辩不出来。
一见他们上船离开了,我就拿了两支枪背在肩上,两支手枪挂在腰带上,又取了一把没鞘的大刀悬在腰间,尽快向靠海的那座小山上跑去,正是在那儿我第一次发现野人的踪迹。我费了两个多钟头才到达那里,因为我全副武装,负担太重,怎么也走不快。我一上小山就看到,除了我刚才看到的两只独木舟外,还有另外三只在那儿。再往远处看去,只见他们在海面上会合后往大陆方向驶去了。
对我来说,这真是一个可怕的景象。尤其是我走到岸边,看到他们所干的惨绝人寰的残杀所遗留下来的痕迹,更令人可怕!那血迹,那人骨,那一块块人肉!可以想象,那些残忍的家伙一边吞食,一边寻欢作乐。见此情景,我义愤填膺。
这不禁使我重新考虑:下次再碰到他们过来干此罪恶勾当,非把他们宰尽杀绝不可,不管他们是什么部落,也不管他们来多少人。
但我发现,他们显然并不经常到岛上来,我第二次碰到他们在那里登岸,是一年零三个月之后的事。这就是说,一年多时间中,我从未再见到过他们,也没有见过他们的脚印或其他任何上岛的痕迹。看来,在雨季,他们肯定是不会出门的,至少不会跑到这么远的地方来。然而,在这一年多中,我却时刻担心遭到他们的袭击,所以日子过得很不舒畅。由此,我悟出一个道理:等待大难临头比遭难本身更令人痛苦,尤其是无法逃避这种灾难而不得不坐等其降临,更是无法摆脱这种担惊受怕的恐惧。
这段时间里,我只是一心想杀这些野人。大部分时间我不干别的,只是苦思冥想杀人的计划。我设想种种计谋,下次再看到他们时该怎样向他们进攻,尤其是要提防他们像上次那样,分成两股前来。但我完全没有考虑到,即使我把他们一股通通杀光,比如说,杀掉十个或十二个,到第二天,或第二个星期,或第二个月,我还得再杀掉他们另一股。这样一股一股杀下去,永无止境,我自己最后岂不也成了杀人凶手,而且,比那些食人生番也许更残暴!
我现在每天都在疑虑和焦急中过日子,感到自己总有一天会落入那些残忍无情的家伙手中。即使偶然大着胆子外出,也总是东张西望,极端小心谨慎。我现在发现,我老早驯养了一群羊,这真给了我极大的宽慰,因为我无论如何也不敢再开枪,尤其是在他们常来的一带地方,唯恐惊动了那些野人。我知道,即使我暂时把他们吓跑,不出明天他们就会卷土重来,那时,说不定会来两三百只独木舟,我的结果也就可想而知了。
然而,在一年零三个月中,我从未见到过一个野人。直到后来,才又重新碰到了他们。详细经过,我下面再谈。不错,在这段时期中,他们很可能来过一两次。不过,他们大概没有在岛上逗留多久,要不就是我自己没有听到他们的动静。可是现在,我在岛上已生活了二十四个年头了。估计是这一年的五月份,我又见到了那些食人生番。这可以说是一次奇遇。下面我就讲讲这次不期而遇的经过。
在这十五六个月里,我极度心烦意乱。晚上我睡不着觉,经常做恶梦,并常从梦中惊醒。白天,我心神不定,坐立不安;夜里,我在睡梦中大杀野人,并为自己列举杀害野人的种种理由。所有这一切,现在先不提。且说到了五月中旬,大约是五月十六日。这是根据我刻在柱上的日历计算的,我至今还每天在柱上划刻痕,但已不太准了。五月十六日这一天刮起了暴风雨,整天雷声隆隆,电光闪闪,直至晚上,依然风雨交加,整夜不停。我也说不清事情究竟是什么时候发生的,只记得当时我正在读《圣经》,并认真地考虑着自己当前的处境。忽然,我听到一声枪响,好像是从海上发出的。这真大大出乎我的意料。
这个意外事件与我以前碰到的任何事件完全不一样,因而在我头脑里所产生的反应也完全不一样。听到枪声后,我一跃而起,转眼之间就把梯子竖在半山上,登上半山的坡坎后,又把梯子提起来架在坡坎上,最后爬上了山顶。就在这一刹那,我又看见火光一闪,知道第二枪又要响了;果然不出所料,半分钟之后,又听到了枪声。从那声音判断,知道枪声正是从我上回坐船被急流冲走的那一带海上传来的。
我立即想到,这一定是有船只遇难了,而且,他们一定有其他船只结伴航行,因此放枪发出求救信号。我这时非常镇定,我想,即使我无法救助他们,他们倒可能帮助我。于是,我把附近的干柴通通收集起来,在山上堆成一大堆点起了火。木柴很干,火一下子就烧得很旺。虽然风很大,火势依然不减。我确信,只要海上有船,他们一定看得见。事实是,他们确实也看到了。因为我把火一烧起来,马上又听见一声枪声,接着又是好几声枪响,都是从同一个方向传来的。
我把火烧了一整夜,一直烧到天亮。天大亮后,海上开始晴朗起来。这时,我看到,在远处海面上,在小岛正东方向,仿佛有什么东西,不知是帆,还是船。我怎么看也看不清楚,用望远镜也没有用,因为距离实在太远了,而且,天气还是雾蒙蒙的;至少海面上雾气还很浓。
整整一天,我一直眺望着海面上那东西,不久便发现它一直停在原处,一动也不动。于是我断定,那一定是一条下了锚的大船。可以想象,我多么急于把事情搞个水落石出,所以,就拿起枪向岛的南边跑去,跑到我前次被急流冲走的那些岩石前面。到了那里,天气已完全晴朗了。我一眼就看到,有一只大船昨天夜里撞在暗礁上失事了。这真叫我痛心;事实上,我上次驾舟出游时,就发现了那些暗礁。正是这些暗礁,挡住了急流的冲力,形成了一股逆流,使我那次得以死里逃生。这是我生平从最绝望的险境里逃出性命的经历。
由此可见,同样的险境,对这个人来说是安全的,对另一个人来说则可能意味着毁灭。我想,这些人由于不熟悉地形,那些暗礁又都隐藏在水底下,再加上昨天晚上的东北风很大,所以船触上了暗礁。如果他们发现这个小岛,我想他们一定会用船上的救生艇竭尽全力划到岸上来的。但看来他们一定没有看到小岛,只是鸣枪求救,尤其是他们看到我燃起的火光后,更是多次放枪。由此我头脑里出现了种种设想。
首先,我想到,他们看到我点燃的火光后,必然会下到救生艇里拼命向岸上划来,但由于风急浪高,把他们刮走了。一会儿我又猜想,也许他们的救生艇早就没了,这种情况是经常发生的。当大船遇到惊涛骇浪时,水手们往往不得不把船上的救生艇拆散,甚至干脆扔到海里去。过会儿我又想,也许与他们结伴同行的船只,在见到他们出事的信号后,已把他们救起来带走了。我又想到,说不定他们已经坐上救生艇,可是遇到了我上次自己碰上的那股急流,给冲到大洋里去了。
到了大洋里,他们可就糟了,那是必死无疑的。说不定这会儿他们都快饿死了,甚至可能正在人吃人呢!
所有这些想法,都仅仅是我自己的猜测罢了。在我目前的处境下,只能眼睁睁地看着这伙可怜的人遭难,并从心里为他们感到难过;除此之外,我毫无办法。可是,这件事在我思想上产生了很好的影响。从这次事件中,我进一步认识到上帝对自己的恩惠,我是多么感激他对我的关怀啊!尽管我处境悲惨,但我的生活还是过得非常舒适,非常幸福。同时,我也要感谢上帝在船难中仅让我一人死里逃生;到目前为止,我至少已亲自见到两艘船只在海上遇难,这两艘船的全体水手无一幸免,唯我独生。此外,从这件事中,我再一次认识到,不管上帝把我们置于何等不幸的境地或何等恶劣的生活环境,我们总会亲眼看到一些使我们感恩的事,看到有些人的处境比自己更不幸。
就拿这伙人来说吧,我简直很难想象他们中间有什么人能死里逃生,也没有任何理由指望他们全体生还。对他们来说,唯一的希望是被结伴同行的船只搭救。可是这种可能性实在太小了,我看不出任何一点被搭救的迹象。
看到这一情景,我心里产生了一种说不出的求伴求友的强烈欲望,有时竟会脱口而出地大声疾呼:"啊!哪怕有一两个人--就是只有一个人能从船上逃出性命也好啊!那样他能到我这儿来,与我作伴,我能有人说说话也好啊!"我多年来过着孤寂的生活,可从来没有像今天这样强烈地渴望与人交往,也从来没有像今天这样深切地感到没有伴侣的痛苦。
在人类的感情里,往往有一种隐秘的原动力,这种原动才一旦被某种目标所吸引,就会以一种狂热和冲动驱使我们的灵魂向那目标扑去,不管是看得见的目标,还是自己头脑想象中的看不见的目标;不达目标,我们就会痛苦不堪。
我多么渴望能有一个人逃出性命啊!"啊,哪怕只有一个人也好啊!"这句话我至少重复了上千次。"啊!哪怕只有一个人也好啊!"我的这种愿望是多么急切,因此,每当我咕遖这句话时,不禁会咬紧牙关,半天也张不开来;同时会紧握双拳,如果手里有什么脆软的东西,一定会被捏得粉碎。
关于这种现象及其产生的原因和表现形式,不妨让那些科学家去解释吧。我只能原原本本地把事实讲出来。当我初次发现这一现象时,我着实吃了一惊,尽管我不知道发生这种现象的原因,但是,毫无疑问的是,这是我内心热切的愿望和强烈的思绪所产生的结果。因为我深切地体会到,如果能有一位基督徒与我交谈,这对我实在是一种莫大的安慰。
但他们一个人也没有幸存下来。这也许是他们的命运,也许是我自己的命运,也许是我们双方都命运不济,不让我们能互相交往。直到我在岛上的最后一年,我也不清楚那条船上究竟有没有人生还。更令人痛心的是,过了几天,我在靠近失事船只的岛的那一头,亲眼看到了一个淹死了的青年人的尸体躺在海滩上。他身上只穿了件水手背心,一条开膝麻纱短裤和一件蓝麻纱衬衫。从他的穿着看,我无法判别他是哪个国家的人。他的衣袋里除了两块西班牙金币和一个烟斗外,其他什么也没有。这两样东西,对我来说,烟斗的价值超过西班牙金币十倍。
这时,海面上已风平浪静,我很想冒险坐小船上那失事的船上看看。我相信一定能找到一些对我有用的东西。此外,我还抱着一个更为强烈的愿望,促使我非上那艘破船不可。那就是希望船上还会有活人。这样,我不仅可以救他的命,更重要的是,如果我能救他活命,对我将是一种莫大的安慰。这个念头时刻盘据在我心头,使我日夜不得安宁,只想乘小船上去看看。我想,这种愿望如此强烈,自己已到了无法抵御的地步,那一定是有什么隐秘的神力在驱使我要去。这种时候,我如果不去,那就太愚蠢了。所以,我决意上船探看一番,至于会有什么结果,那就只好听天由命了。
在这种愿望的驱使下,我匆匆跑回城堡作出航的准备。我拿了不少面包,一大罐淡水,一个驾驶用的罗盘,一片甘蔗酒--这种酒我还剩下不少,一满筐葡萄干。我把一切必需品都背在身上,就走到我藏小船的地方。我先把船里的水淘干,让船浮起来;然后把所有的东西都放进船里。接着,我又跑回家去取些其他东西。这一次我拿了一大口袋米,还有那把挡太阳的伞,又取了一大罐淡水,二十多只小面包--实际上是一些大麦饼,这次拿得比上次还多。另外又拿了一瓶羊奶,一块干酪。我费了不少力气,流了不少汗,才把这些东西通通运到小船上。然后,我祈祷上帝保佑我一路平安,就驾船出发了。我沿海岸先把小舟划到小岛的东北角。现在,我得把独木舟驶入大洋中去了;要么冒险前进,要么知难而退。我遥望着远处海岛两边日夜奔腾的两股急流,回想起上次遭到的危险,不由得有点害怕了。因为我可以想见,只要被卷入这两股急流中的任何一股,小舟一定会被冲进外海,到那时,我就再也看不到小岛,再也回不到小岛了。我的船仅仅是一只小小的独木舟,只要大海上稍稍起一阵风,就难免覆没了。
我思想压力很大,不得不考虑放弃原定的计划。我把小船拉进沿岸的一条小河里,自己迈步上岸,在一块小小的高地上坐下来沉思。我心情忧郁,心绪不宁。我害怕死,又想前去探个究竟。正当我沉思默想之际,只见潮流起了变化,潮水开始上涨。这样,我一时肯定走不成了。这时,我忽然想到,应该找一个最高的地方,上去观察一下潮水上涨时那两股急流的流向,从中我可以作出判断,万一我被一股急流冲入大海,是否有可能被另一股急流冲回来。我刚想到这一层,就看见附近有一座小山;从山上可以看到左右两边的海面,并对两股急流的流向可以一目了然,从而可以确定我回来时应走哪一个方向。到了山上,我发现那退潮的急流是沿着小岛的南部往外流的,而那涨潮的急流是沿着小岛的北部往里流的。这样,我回来时,小舟只要沿着北部行驶,自然就可以被涨潮的急流带回来。
经过观察,我大受鼓舞,决定第二天早晨乘第一次潮汐出发。我把水手值夜的大衣盖在身上,在独木舟里过了一夜。
第二天一早,我就驾舟出发了。最初,我一出海就朝正北驶去,走没多远,就进入了那股向东流动的急流;小舟在急流中向前飞驶,可是流速没有上回岛南边那股急流那么大,所以我尚能掌握住小舟。我以桨代舵,使劲掌握航向,朝那失事的大船飞驶过去。不到两小时,我就到了破船跟前。
眼前的景象一片凄凉。从那条船的构造外形来看,是一条西班牙船,船身被紧紧地夹在两块礁石之间。船尾和后舱都被海浪击得粉碎,那搁在礁石中间的前舱,由于猛烈撞去,上面的前桅和主桅都折断倒在了甲板上,但船首的斜桁仍完好无损,船头也还坚固。我靠近破船时,船上出现了一只狗。
它一见到我驶近,就汪汪吠叫起来。我向它一呼唤,它就跳到海里,游到我的小船边来,我把它拖到船上,只见它又饥又渴,快要死了。我给了它一块面包,它就大吃大嚼起来,活像一只在雪地里饿了十天半月的狼。我又给他喝了点淡水,它就猛喝,要是我不制止它的话,真的可以喝得把肚子都涨破。
接着,我就上了大船。我第一眼看到的,是两个淹死的人;他们紧紧地抱在一起,躺在前舱的厨房里。看来,船触礁时,海面上狂风暴雨,海浪接连不断地打在船上,船上的人就像被埋在水里一样,实在受不了最后窒息而死。除了那条狗,船上没有任何其他生还的生物。船上所有的货物,也都让海水给浸坏了,只有舱底下几桶酒因海水已退而露在外面,也不知道是葡萄酒还是白兰地。那些酒桶很大,我没法搬动它们。另外,我还看见几只大箱子,可能是水手的私人财物。我搬了两只到我的小船上,也没有来得及检查一下里面究竟装的是什么东西。
要是触礁的是船尾,撞碎的是船首,我此行收获就大了。
从两只箱子里找出来的东西看,我完全可以断定,船上装的财富十分可贵。从该船所走的航线来看,我也不难猜想它是从南美巴西南部的布宜诺斯艾利斯或拉普拉塔河口出发的,准备开往墨西哥湾的哈瓦那,然后也许再从那儿驶向西班牙。所以,船上无疑满载金银财宝,可是这些财富目前对任何人都毫无用处。至于船上的人究竟发生了什么情况,我当然无从得知了。
除了那两只箱子,我还找到了一小桶酒,约有二十加仑。
我费了九牛二虎之力,才把酒桶搬到小船上。船舱里还有几支短枪和一只盛火药的大角筒,里面大约有四磅火药。短枪对我来说已毫无用处。因此我就留下了,只取了盛火药的角筒。另外我又拿了一把火炉铲和一把火钳,这两样正是我十分需要的东西。我还拿了两把小铜壶,一只煮巧克力的铜锅和一把烤东西用的铁钯。我把这些货物通通装进我的小船,再带上那只狗,就准备回家了。这时正值涨潮,潮水开始向岛上流。天黑后不到一小时,我就回到了岸上,但人已劳累得疲倦不堪了。
当晚在小船上安歇了一夜。第二天早晨,我决定把运回来的东西都放到新发现的地穴里去,而不是放到城堡里去。我先吃了点东西,把所有的东西都搬到岸上,并仔仔细细地查看了一番。我搬回来的那桶酒是一种甘蔗酒,但与我们巴西的甘蔗酒不一样。一句话,这种酒非常难喝。可是,我打开那两只大箱子后,找到了几样东西对我非常有用。例如,在一只箱子里,有一只精致的小酒箱,里面的酒瓶也十分别致,装的是上等的提神烈性甜酒,每瓶约三品脱,瓶口上还包着银子;还有两罐上好的蜜饯,因为封口很好,咸水没有进去。
另外还有两罐却已被海水泡坏了。我又找到一些很好的衬衫,这正是我求之不得的东西。还有一打半白麻纱手帕和有色的领巾。麻纱手帕我也十分需要,大热天拿来擦脸真是再爽快也没有了。此外,在箱子的钱箱里,有三大袋西班牙银币,约一千一百多枚,其中一袋里有六块西班牙金币和一些小块的金条,都包在纸里,估计约有一磅重。
在另一只大箱子里找到了一些衣服,但对我来说都没有多大用处。看样子,这只箱子是属于船上的副炮手的。箱子里没有很多火药,只有两磅压成细粒的火药,装在三只小瓶里;我想大概是装鸟枪用的。总的来说,我这趟出海弄到的东西有用的不太多。至于钱币,对我当然毫无用处,真是不如粪土!我宁愿用全部金币银币来换三四双英国袜子和鞋子,因为这些都是我迫切需要的东西,我已经好几年没有鞋袜穿了。不过,我还是弄到了两双鞋子,那是我从遇难船上两个淹死的水手的脚上脱下来的。另外,在这只大箱子里还找到两双鞋,这当然也是求之不得的。但这两双鞋子都没有英国鞋子舒适耐穿,因为不是一般走路穿的鞋子,只是一种便鞋而已。在这只船员的箱子里,我另外又找到了五十多枚西班牙银币,但没有金币。我想这只箱子的主人一定比较贫寒,而另一只箱子的主人一定是位高级船员。
不管怎么说,我还是把所有的钱搬回了山洞,像以前一样妥善收藏好。可惜的是,我无法进入破船的其他部分;否则的话,我准可以用我的独木舟一船一船地把钱币运到岸上。
如果有一天我能逃回英国,就是把这些钱都放在这里也非常安全,等以后有机会再回来取也不迟。
我们所有的东西运到岸上安置妥当后,就回到小船上。我沿着海岸,划到原来停泊的港口,把船缆系好。然后,我拖着波惫的身子回到了我的老住所。到了那里,只见一切平安无事。于是我开始休息,并又像过去一样照常度日,料理家务。有这么一段短短的时期,我日子过得非常怡闲自在,只是比以前较谨慎罢了。我时时注意外面的动静,也很少外出。
即使有时大胆到外面活动,也只是到小岛的东部走走,因为我确信野人从未到过那儿,因此用不着处处提防,也用不着带上许多武器弹药。要是到其他地方去,只带少许武器弹药就不行了。
我在这种情况下又过了将近两年。在这两年里,我头脑里充塞着各种各样的计划,一心设法逃离孤岛,尽管我自己也知道,我那倒霉的头脑似乎生来就是为了折磨我的肉体。有时候,我还想上那条破船去察看一番,尽管我也知道,船上已没有什么东西值得我再次冒险出海了。有时候,我又想乘小舟东逛逛西走走。我毫不怀疑,如果我现在有我从萨累逃出来时坐的那条小船,早就冒险出海了;至于去什么地方,那我也顾不上了。
一般人往往有一种通病,那就是不知足,老是不满于上帝和大自然对他们的安排。现在我认识到,他们的种种苦难,至少有一半是由于不知足这种毛病造成的。患有这种病的人大可以从我的一生经历中得到教训。就拿我自己来说吧,正是由于我不满自己原来的境况,又不听父亲的忠告--我认为,我有悖教训,实为我的"原罪",再加上我后来又犯了同样的错误,才使自己落到今天这样悲惨的地步。当时,造物主已安排我在巴西做了种植园主。如果我自己不痴心妄想发财,而是满足于逐渐致富,这时候我也许已成了巴西数一数二的种植园主了,而现在我却白白地在这荒岛上流落了这么多年,过着悲惨孤寂的生活。而且,我在巴西经营时间不长;就是在这段短短的时间里,我也获利不少。因此我确信,要是我继续经营下去的话,到现在一定拥有十几万葡萄牙金币的家财了。当时,我的种植园已走上了轨道,并且日益兴旺。可是,我偏偏把这一切丢弃,甘愿去当一名船上的管货员,只是为了到几内亚去贩卖黑奴。现在想来,我为什么要这样做呢?要是我守住家业,只要有耐心,经过一段时间之后,同样可以积聚大笔财富,我不是也可以在自己的家门口,从那些黑奴贩子手里买到黑奴吗?虽说价钱贵一点,但这点差价绝不值得自己去冒这样大的风险!
然而,这正是一般不懂世事的青年人共同的命运。他们不经过多年的磨炼,不用高昂的代价获得人生的阅历,是不会明白自己的愚蠢行为的。我现在的情况就是这样。我生性不知自足,一直到现在还不能安于现状。所以,我头脑里老是盘算着逃离荒岛的种种办法和可能性。为了使读者对我后面要叙述的故事更感兴趣,在这儿我不妨先谈一下我这种荒唐的逃跑计划最初是怎样形成的,后来又是怎样实施的,以及我实施这一计划的根据。
这次去破船上的航行回来之后,我又回到城堡里过起隐居生活来。我把独木舟按原来的办法沉入水底隐藏好,过着以前那样平静的日常生活。现在,我比以前更有钱了,但并不因此而更富有,因为金钱对我毫无用处,就像秘鲁的印第安人,在西班牙人来到之前,金钱对他们也是毫无用处的。
我来到这孤岛上已二十四年了。现在正值雨季三月。一天夜里,我躺在吊床上,辗转反侧,难以入睡。我很健康,没有病痛,没有什么不舒服,心情也很平静,可是怎么也合不上眼,就是睡不着。可以这么说,整个晚上都没打过盹。
那天晚上,我心潮起伏,思绪万千,思前想后,实在一言难荆我粗略地回顾了自己一生的历程。我回想起自己怎样流落到这荒岛上,又怎样在这儿过了二十四年的孤寂生活。
我想到,来到岛上的最初几年,我怎样过着无忧无虑的快乐生活;后来,在沙滩上发现了人的脚印后,又怎样焦虑恐惧,过着忧心忡忡的生活。我也知道,多少年来,那些食人生番经常到岛上来,有时甚至成千上百登上岸来。但在此之前,我不知道这件事,当然也不会担惊受怕。那时,我尽管有危险,但自己不知道,所以也活得快活自在。我想,如果不知道有危险,就等于没有危险,生活就照样无忧无虑,十分幸福。由此,我悟出不少有益的道理。造物主统治人类,把人类的认识和知识局限在狭隘的范围内,这正是造物主的英明之处。实际上,人类往往生活在种种危险之中,如果让人类发现这些危险,那一定会使人人心烦意乱,精神不振。但造物主不让人类看清事实真相,使他们全然不知道四周的危险,这样,人们就过着泰然宁静的生活。
我这样想了一段时间后,就开始认真地考虑到这么多年来我在这荒岛上一直所面临的危险。这种危险是实实在在的,可是,我过去却经常坦然自若地在岛上走来走去。实际上,可能只是一座小山,一棵大树,或是夜正好降临,才使我免遭杀害,而且,将会是以一种最残忍的方式的杀害:那就是落入吃人生番手里。如果落到他们手里,他们就会把我马上抓起来,就像我抓只山羊或海鳖一样。同时,在他们看来