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When I was come down the Hill, to the Shore, as I said above, being the S.W. Point of the Island, I was perfectly confounded and amaz'd; nor is it possible for me to express the Horror of my Mind, at seeing the Shore spread with Skulls, Hands, Feet, and other Bones of humane Bodies; and particularly I observ'd a Place where there had been a Fire made, and a Circle dug in the Earth, like a Cockpit, where it is suppos'd the Savage Wretches had sat down to their inhumane Feastings upon the Bodies of their Fellow-Creatures. I was so astonish'd with the Sight of these Things, that I entertain'd no Notions of any Danger to my self from it for a long while; All my Apprehensions were bury'd in the Thoughts of such a Pitch of inhuman, hellish Brutality, and the Horror of the Degeneracy of Humane Nature; which though I had heard of often, yet I never had so near a View of before; in short, I turn'd away my Face from the horrid Spectacle; my Stomach grew sick, and I was just at the Point of Fainting, when Nature discharg'd the Disorder from my Stomach; and having vomited with an uncommon violence, I was a little reliev'd; but cou'd not bear to stay in the Place a Moment; so I gat me up the Hill again, with the Speed I cou'd, and walk'd on towards my own Habitation.
When I came a little out of that Part of the Island, I stood a while as amaz'd; and then recovering my self, I look'd with the utmost Affection of my Soul, and with a Flood Tears in my Eyes, gave God Thanks that had cast my Lot in a Part of the World, where I was distinguish'd from such dreadful Creatures as these; and that though I had esteem'd my present Condition very miserable, had yet given me so many Comforts in it, that I had still more to give Thanks for than to complain of; and this above all, that had even in this miserable Condition been comforted with the Knowledge of himself, and the Hope of his Blessing, which was a Felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all the Misery which I had suffer'd, or could suffer.
In this Frame of Thankfulness, I went Home to my Castle, and began to be much easier now, as to the Safety my Circumstances, than ever I was before; for I observ'd, that these Wretches never came to this Island in search of what they could get; perhaps not seeking, not wanting, or not expecting any Thing here; and having often, no doubt, been up in the cover'd woody Part of it, without finding any Thing to their Purpose. I knew I had been here now almost eighteen Years, and never saw the least Foot-steps of Humane Creature there before; and I might be here eighteen more, as entirely conceal'd as I was now, if I did not discover my self to them, which I had no manner of Occasion to do, it being my only Business to keep my self entirely conceal'd where I was, unless I found a better sort of Creatures than Canibals to make my self known to.
Yet I entertain'd such an Abhorrence of the Savage Wretches, that I have been speaking of, and of the wretched inhuman Custom of their devouring and eating one another up, that I continu'd pensive, and sad, and kept close within my own Circle for almost two Years after this: When I say my own Circle, I mean by it, my three Plantations, viz. my Castle, my Country Seat, which I call'd my Bower, and my Enclosure in the Woods; nor did I look after this for any other Use than as an Enclosure for my Goats; for the Aversion which Nature gave me to these hellish Wretches, was such, that I was fearful of seeing them, as of seeing the Devil himself; nor did I so much as go to look after my Boat, in all this Time; but began rather to think of making me another; for I cou'd not think of ever making any more Attempts, to bring the other Boat round the Island to me, least I should meet with some of these Creatures at Sea, in which, if I had happen'd to have fallen into their Hands, I knew what would have been my Lot.
Time however, and the Satisfaction I had, that I was in no Danger of being discover'd by these People, began to wear off my Uneasiness about them; and I began to live just in the same compos'd Manner as before; only with this Difference, that I used more Caution, and kept my Eyes more about me than I did before, least I should happen to be seen by any of them; and particularly, I was more cautious of firing my Gun, least any of them being on the Island, should happen to hear of it; and it was therefore a very good Providence to me, that I had furnish'd my self with a tame Breed of Goats, that I needed not hunt any more about the Woods, or shoot at them; and if I did catch any of them after this, it was by Traps, and Snares, as I had done before; so that for two Years after this, I believe I never fir'd my Gun once off, though I never went out without it; and which was more, as I had sav'd three Pistols out of the Ship, I always carry'd them out with me, or at least two of them, sticking them in my Goat-skin Belt; also I furbish'd up one of the great Cutlashes, that I had out of the Ship, and made me a Belt to put it on also; so that I was now a most formidable Fellow to look at, when I went abroad, if you add to the former Description of my self, the Particular of two Pistols, and a great broad Sword, hanging at my Side in a Belt, but without a Scabbard.
Things going on thus, as I have said, for some Time; I seem'd, excepting these Cautions, to be reduc'd to my former calm, sedate Way of Living, all these Things tended to shewing me more and more how far my Condition was from being miserable, compar'd to some others; nay, to many other Particulars of Life, which it might have pleased God to have made my Lot. It put me upon reflecting, How little repining there would be among Mankind, at any Condition of Life, if People would rather compare their Condition with those that are worse, in order to be thankful, than be always Comparing them with those which are better, to assist their Murmurings and Complainings.
As in my present Condition there were not really many Things which I wanted; so indeed I thought that the Frights I had been in about these Savage Wretches, and the Concern I had been in for my own Preservation, had taken off the Edge of my Invention for my own Conveniences; and I had dropp'd a good Design, which I had once bent my Thoughts too much upon; and that was, to try if I could not make some of my Barley into Malt, and then try to brew my self some Beer: This was really a whimsical Thought, and I reprov'd my self often for the Simplicity of it; for I presently saw there would be the want of several Things necessary to the making my Beer, that it would be impossible for me to supply; as First, Casks to preserve it in, which was a Thing, that as I have observ'd already, I cou'd never compass; no, though I spent not many Days, but Weeks, nay, Months in attempting it, but to no purpose. In the next Place, I had no Hops to make it keep, no Yeast to make it work, no Copper or Kettle to make it boil; and yet all these Things, notwithstanding, I verily believe, had not these Things interven'd, I mean the Frights and Terrors I was in about the Savages, I had undertaken it, and perhaps brought it to pass too; for I seldom gave any Thing over without accomplishing it, when I once had it in my Head enough to begin it.
But my Invention now run quite another Way; for Night and Day, I could think of nothing but how I might destroy some of these Monsters in their cruel bloody Entertainment, and if possible, save the Victim they should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger Volume than this whole Work is intended to be, to set down all the Contrivances I hatch'd, or rather brooded upon in my Thought, for the destroying these Creatures, or at least frighting them, so as to prevent their coming hither any more; but all was abortive, nothing could be possible to take effect, unless I was to be there to do it my self; and what could one Man do among them, when perhaps there might be twenty or thirty of them together, with their Darts, or their Bows and Arrows, with which they could shoot as true to a Mark, I could with my Gun?
Sometime I contriv'd to dig a Hole under the Place where they made their Fire, and put in five or six Pound of Gun-powder, which when they kindled their Fire, would consequently take Fire, and blow up all that was near it; but as in the first Place I should be very loth to wast so much Powder upon them, my Store being now within the Quantity of one Barrel; so neither could I be sure of its going off' at any certain Time, when it might surprise them, and at best, that it would do little more than just blow the Fire about their Ears and fright them, but not sufficient to make them forsake the Place; so I laid it aside, and then propos'd, that I would place my self in Ambush, in some convenient Place, with my three Guns, all double loaded; and in the middle of their bloody Ceremony, let fly at them, when I should be sure to kill or wound perhaps two or three at every shoot; and then falling in upon them with my three Pistols, and my Sword, I made no doubt, but that if there was twenty I should kill them all: This Fancy pleas'd my Thoughts for some Weeks, and I was so full of it, that I often dream'd of it; and sometimes that I was just going to let fly at them in my Sleep.
I went so far with it in my Imagination, that I employ'd my self several Days to find out proper Places to put my self in Ambuscade, as I said, to watch for them; and I went frequently to the Place it self, which was now grown more familiar to me; and especially while my Mind was thus fill'd with Thoughts of Revenge, and of a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them to the Sword, as I may call it, the Horror I had at the Place, and at the Signals of the barbarous Wretches devouring one another, abated my Malice.
Well, at length I found a Place in the Side of the Hill, where I was satisfy'd I might securely wait, till I saw any of their Boats coming, and might then, even before they would be ready to come on Shore, convey my self unseen into Thickets of Trees, in one of which there was a Hollow large enough to conceal me entirely; and where I might sit, and observe all their bloody Doings, and take my full aim at their Heads, when they were so close together, as that it would be next to impossible that I should miss my Shoot, or that I could fail wounding three or four of them at the first Shoot.
In this Place then I resolv'd to fix my Design, and accordingly I prepar'd two Muskets, and my ordinary Fowling Piece. The two Muskets I loaded with a Brace of Slugs each, and four or five smaller Bullets, about the Size of Pistol Bullets; and the Fowling Piece I loaded with near a Handful of Swan-shot, of the largest Size; I also loaded my Pistols with about four Bullets each, and in this Posture, well provided with Ammunition for a second and third Charge, I prepar'd my self for my Expedition.
After I had thus laid the Scheme of my Design, and in my Imagination put it in Practice, I continually made my Tour every Morning up to the Top of the Hill, which was from my Castle, as I call'd it, about three Miles, or more, to see if I cou'd observe any Boats upon the Sea, coming near the Island, or standing over towards it; but I began to tire of this hard Duty, after I had for two or three Months constantly kept my Watch; but came always back without any Discovery, there having not in all that Time been the least Appearance, not only on, or near the Shore; but not on the whole Ocean, so far as my Eyes or Glasses could reach every Way.
As long as I kept up my daily Tour to the Hill, to look out; so long also I kept up the Vigour of my Design, and my Spirits seem'd to be all the while in a suitable Form, for so outragious an Execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked Savages, for an Offence which I had not at all entred into a Discussion of in my Thoughts, any farther than my Passions were at first fir'd by the Horror I conceiv'd at the natural Custom of that People of the Country, who it had been suffer'd by Providence in his wise Disposition of the World, to have no other Guide than that of their own abominable and vitiated Passions; and constantly were left, and perhaps had been so for some Ages, to act: horrid Things, and receive such dreadful Customs, as nothing but Nature entirely abandon'd of Heaven, and acted by hellish Degeneracy, could have run them into: But now, as I have said, I began to be weary of the fruitless Excursion, which I had made so long, and so far, every Morning in vain, so my Opinion of the Action it self began to alter, and I began with cooler and calmer Thoughts to consider what it was I was going to engage in. What Authority, or Call I had, to pretend to be Judge and Executioner upon these Men as Criminals, whom Heaven had thought fit for so many Ages to suffer unpunish'd, to go on, and to be as it were, the Executioners of his Judgments one upon another. How far these People were Offenders against me, and what Right I had to engage in the Quarrel of that Blood, which they shed promiscuously one upon another. I debated this very often with my self thus; How do I know what God himself judges in this particular Case? is certain these People either do not commit this as a Crime; it is not against their own Consciences reproving, or their Light reproaching them. They do not know it be Offence, and then commit it in Defiance of Divine Justice, we do in almost all the Sins we commit. They think it no ore a Crime to kill a Captive taken in War, than we do kill an Ox; nor to eat humane Flesh, than we do to eat Mutton.
When I had consider'd this a little, it follow'd necessarily, that I was certainly in the Wrong in it, that these People were not Murtherers in the Sense that I had before condemn'd them, in my Thoughts; any more than those Christians were Murtherers, who often put to Death the Prisoners taken in Battle; or more frequently, upon many Occasions, put whole Troops of Men to the Sword, without giving Quarter, though they threw down their Arms and submitted.
In the next Place it occurr'd to me, that albeit the Usage they thus gave one another, was thus brutish and inhuman; yet it was really nothing to me: These People had done me Injury. That if they attempted me, or I saw it necessary my immediate Preservation to fall upon them, something might be said for it; but that as I was yet out of their Power, and they had really no Knowledge of me, and consequently sign upon me; and therefore it could not be just for to fall upon them. That this would justify the Conduct the Spaniards in all their Barbarities practis'd in America, and where they destroy'd Millions of these People, who however they were Idolaters and Barbarians, and had several bloody and barbarous Rites in their Customs, such as sacrificing human Bodies to their Idols, were yet, as to the Spaniards, very innocent People; and that the rooting them out of the Country, is spoken of with the utmost Abhorrence and Detestation, by even the Spaniards themselves, at this Time; and by all other Christian Nations of Europe, as a meer Butchery, a bloody and unnatural Piece of Cruelty, unjustifiable either to God or Man; and such, as for which the very Name of a Spaniard is reckon'd to be frightful and terrible to all People of Humanity, or of Christian Compassion: As if the Kingdom of Spain were particularly Eminent for the Product of a Race of Men, who were without Principles of Tenderness, or the common Bowels of Pity to the Miserable, which is reckon'd to be a Mark of generous Temper in the Mind.
These Considerations really put me to a Pause, and to a kind of a Full-stop; and I began by little and little to be off of my Design, and to conclude, I had taken wrong Measures in my Resolutions to attack the Savages; that it was not my Business to meddle with them, unless they first attack'd me, and this it was my Business if possible to prevent; but that if I were discover'd, and attack'd, then I knew my Duty.
On the other hand, I argu'd with my self, That this really was the way not to deliver my self, but entirely to ruin and destroy my self; for unless I was sure to kill every one that not only should be on Shore at that Time, but that should ever come on Shore afterwards, if but one of them escap'd, to tell their Country People what had happen'd, they would come over again by Thousands to revenge the Death of their Fellows, and 1 should only bring upon my self a certain Destruction, which at present I had no manner of occasion for.
Upon the whole I concluded, That neither in Principle or in Policy, I ought one way or other to concern my self in this Affair. That my Business was by all possible Means to conceal my self from them, and not to leave the least Signal to them to guess by, that there were any living Creatures upon the Island; I mean of humane Shape.
Religion joyn'd in with this Prudential, and I was convinc'd now many Ways, that I was perfectly out of my Duty, when I was laying all my bloody Schemes for the Destruction of innocent Creatures, I mean innocent as to me: As to the Crimes they were guilty of towards one another, I had nothing to do with them; they were National, and I ought to leave them to the Justice of God, who is the Governour of Nations, and knows how by National Punishments to make a just Retribution for National Offences; and to bring publick Judgments upon those who offend in a publick Manner, by such Ways as best pleases him.
This appear'd so clear to me now, that nothing was a greater Satisfaction to me, than that I had not been suffer'd to do a Thing which I now saw so much Reason to believe would have been no less a Sin, than that of wilful Murther, if I had committed it; and I gave most humble Thanks on my Knees to God, that had thus deliver'd me from Blood-Guiltiness; beseeching him to grant me the Protection of his Providence, that I might not fall into the Hands of the Barbarians; or that I might not lay my Hands upon them, unless I had a more clear Call from Heaven to do it, in Defence of my own Life.
In this Disposition I continu'd, for near a Year after this; and so far was I from desiring an Occasion for falling upon these Wretches, that in all that Time, I never once went up the Hill to see whether there were any of them in Sight, or to know whether any of them had been on Shore there, or not, that I might not be tempted to renew any of my Contrivances against them, or be provok'd by any Advantage which might present it self, to fall upon them; only this I did I went and remov'd my Boat, which I had on the other Side the Island, and carry'd it down to the East End of the whole Island, where I ran it into a little Cove which I found under some high Rocks, and where I knew, by Reason of the Currents, the Savages durst not, at least would not come with their Boats, upon any Account whatsoever.
With my Boat I carry'd away every Thing that I had left there belonging to her, though not necessary for the bare going thither, viz. A Mast and Sail which I had made for her, and a Thing like an Anchor, but indeed which could not be call'd either Anchor or Grapling; however, it was the best I could make of its kind: All these I remov'd, that there might not be the least Shadow of any Discovery, or any Appearance of any Boat, or of any human Habitation upon the Island.
Besides this, I kept my self, as I said, more retir'd than ever, and seldom went from my Cell, other than upon my constant Employment, viz. To milk my She-goats, and manage my little Flock, in the Wood; which as it was quite on the other Part of the Island, was quite out of Danger; for certain it is, that these Savage People who sometimes haunted this Island, never came with any Thoughts of finding any Thing here; and consequently never wandred off from the Coast; and I doubt not, but they might have been several Times on Shore, after my Apprehensions of them had made me cautious as well as before; and indeed, I look'd back with some Horror upon the Thoughts of what my Condition would have been, if I had chop'd upon them, and been discover'd before that, when naked and unarm'd, except with one Gun, and that loaden often only with small Shot, I walk'd every where peeping, and peeping about the Island, to see what I could get; what a Surprise should I have been in, if when I discover'd the Print of a Man's Foot, I had instead of that, seen fifteen or twenty Savages, and found them pursuing me, and by the Swiftness of their Running, no Possibility of my escaping them.
The Thoughts of this sometimes sunk my very Soul within me, and distress'd my Mind so much, that I could not soon recover it, to think what I should have done, and how I not only should not have been able to resist them, but even should not have had Presence of Mind enough to do what I might have done; much less, what now after so much Consideration and Preparation I might be able to do: Indeed, after serious thinking of these Things, I should be very Melancholly, and sometimes it would last a great while; but I resolv'd it at last all into Thankfulness to that Providence, which had deliver'd me from so many unseen Dangers, and had kept me from those Mischiefs which I could no way have been the Agent in delivering my self from; because I had not the least Notion of any such Thing depending,' or the least Supposition of it being possible.
This renew'd a Contemplation, which often had come to my Thoughts in former Time, when first I began to see the merciful Dispositions of Heaven, in the Dangers we run through in this Life. How wonderfully we are deliver'd, when we know nothing of it. How when we are in (a Quandary, as we call it) a Doubt or Hesitation, whether to go this Way, or that Way, a secret Hint shall direct us this Way, when we intended to go that Way; nay, when Sense, our own Inclination, and perhaps Business has call'd to go the other Way, yet a strange Impression upon the Mind, from we know not what Springs, and by we know not what Power, shall over-rule us to go this Way; and it shall afterwards appear, that had we gone that Way which we should have gone, and even to our Imagination ought to have gone, we should have been ruin'd and lost: Upon these, and many like Reflections, I afterwards made it a certain Rule with me, That whenever I found those secret Hints, or pressings of my Mind, to doing, or not doing any Thing that presented; or to going this Way, or that Way, I never fail'd to obey the secret Dictate; though I knew no other Reason for it, than that such a Pressure, or such a Hint hung upon my Mind: I could give many Examples of the Success of this Conduct in the Course of my Life; but more especially in the latter Part of my inhabiting this unhappy Island; besides many Occasions which it is very likely I might have taken Notice of, if I had seen with the same Eyes then, that I saw with now: But 'tis never too late to be wise; and I cannot but advise all considering Men, whose Lives are attended with such extraordinary Incidents as mine, or even though not so extraordinary, not to slight such secret Intimations of Providence, let them come from what invisible Intelligence they will, that' I shall not discuss, and perhaps cannot account for; but certainly they are a Proof of the Converse of Spirits, and the secret Communication between those embody'd, and those unembody'd; and such a Proof as can never be withstood: Of which I shall have Occasion to give some very remarkable Instances, in the Remainder of my solitary Residence in this dismal Place.
I believe the Reader of this will not think strange, if I confess that these Anxieties, these constant Dangers I liv'd in, and the Concern that was now upon me, put an End to all Invention, and to all the Contrivances that I had laid for my future Accommodations and Conveniencies. I had the Care of my Safety more now upon my Hands, than that of my Food. I car'd not to drive a Nail, or chop a Stick of Wood now, for fear the Noise I should make should be heard; much less would I fire a Gun, for the same Reason; and above all, I was intollerably uneasy at making any Fire, least the Smoke which is visible at a great Distance in the Day should betray me; and for this Reason I remov'd that Part of my Business which requir'd Fire; such as burning of Pots, and Pipes, etc. into my new Apartment in the Woods, where after I had been some time, I found to my unspeakable Consolation, a meer natural Cave in the Earth, which went in a vast way, and where, I dare say, no Savage, had he been at the Mouth of it, would be so hardy as to venture in, nor indeed, would any Man else; but one who like me, wanted nothing so much as a safe Retreat.
The Mouth of this Hollow, was at the Bottom of a great Rock, where by meer accident, (I would say, if I did not see abundant Reason to ascribe all such Things now to Providence) I was cutting down some thick Branches of Trees, to make Charcoal; and before I go on, I must observe the Reason of my making this Charcoal; which was thus: I was afraid of making a Smoke about my Habitation, as I said before; and yet I could not live there without baking my Bread, cooking my Meat, etc. so I contriv'd to burn some Wood here, as I had seen done in England, under Turf, till it became Chark, or dry Coal; and then putting the Fire out, I preserv'd the Coal to carry Home; and perform the other Services which Fire was wanting for at Home without Danger of Smoke.
But this is by the by: While I was cutting down some Wood here, I perceiv'd that behind a very thick Branch of low Brushwood, or Underwood, there was a kind of hollow Place; I was curious to look into it, and getting with Difficulty into the Mouth of it, I found it was pretty large; that is to say, sufficient for me to stand upright in it, and perhaps another with me; but I must confess to you, I made more hast out than I did in, when looking farther into the Place, and which was perfectly dark, I saw two broad shining Eyes of some Creature, whether Devil or Man I knew not, which twinkl'd like two Stars, the dim Light from the Cave's Mouth shining directly in and making the Reflection.
However, after some Pause, I recover'd my self, and began to call my self a thousand Fools, and tell my self, that he that was afraid to see the Devil, was not fit to live twenty Years in an Island all alone; and that I durst to believe there was nothing in this Cave that was more frightful than my self; upon this, plucking up my Courage, I took up a great Firebrand, and in I rush'd again, with the Stick flaming in my Hand; I had not gone three Steps in, but I was almost as much frighted as I was before; for I heard a very loud Sigh, like that of a Man in some Pain, and it was follow'd by a broken Noise, as if of Words half express'd, and then a deep Sigh again: I stepp'd back, and was indeed struck with such a Surprize, that it put me into a cold Sweat; and if I had had a Hat on my Head, I will not answer for it, that my Hair might not have lifted it off. But still plucking up my Spirits as well as I could, and encouraging my self a little with considering that the Power and Presence of God was every where, and was able to protect me; upon this I stepp'd forward again, and by the Light of the Firebrand, holding it up a little over my Head, I saw lying on the Ground a most monstrous frightful old He-goat, just making his Will, as we say, and gasping for Life, and dying indeed of meer old Age.
I stirr'd him a little to see if I could get him out, and he essay'd to get up, but was not able to raise himself; and I thought with my self, he might even lie there; for if he had frighted me so, he would certainly fright any of the Savages, if any of them should be so hardy as to come in there, while he had any Life in him.
I was now recover'd from my Surprize, and began to look round me, when I found the Cave was but very small, that is to say, it might be about twelve Foot over, but in no manner of Shape, either round or square, no Hands having ever been employ'd in making it, but those of meer Nature: I observ'd also, that there was a Place at the farther Side of it, that went in farther, but was so low, that it requir'd me to creep upon my Hands and Knees to go into it, and whither I went I knew not; so having no Candle, I gave it over for some Time; but resolv'd to come again the next Day, provided with Candles, and a Tinder-box, which I had made of the Lock of one of the Muskets, with some wild-fire in the Pan.
Accordingly the next Day, I came provided with six large Candles of my own making; for I made very good Candles now of Goat's Tallow; and going into this low Place, I was oblig'd to creep upon all Fours, as I have said, almost ten Yards; which by the way, I thought was a Venture bold enough, considering that I knew not how far it might go, nor what was beyond it. When I was got through the Strait, I found the Roof rose higher up, I believe near twenty Foot; but never was such a glorious Sight seen in the Island, I dare say, as it was, to look round the Sides and Roof of this Vault, or Cave; the Walls reflected 100 thousand Lights to me from my two Candles; what it was in Rock, whether Diamonds, or any other precious Stones, or Gold, which I rather suppos'd it to be, I knew not.
The Place I was in, was a most delightful Cavity, or Grotto, of its kind, as could be expected, though perfectly dark; the Floor was dry and level, and had a sort of small lose Gravel upon it, so that there was no nauseous or venemous Creature to be seen, neither was there any damp, or wet, on the Sides or Roof: The only Difficulty in it was the Entrance, which however as it was a Place of Security, and such a Retreat as I wanted, I thought that was a Convenience; so that I was really rejoyc'd at the Discovery, and resolv'd without any Delay, to bring some of those Things which I was most anxious about, to this Place; particularly, I resolv'd to bring hither my Magazine of Powder, and all my spare Arms, viz. Two Fowling-Pieces, for I had three in all; and three Muskets, for of them I had eight in all; so I kept at my Castle only five, which stood ready mounted like Pieces of Cannon, on my out-most Fence; and were ready also to take out upon any Expedition.
Upon this Occasion of removing my Ammunition, I took occasion to open the Barrel of Powder which I took up out of the Sea, and which had been wet; and I found that the Water had penetrated about three or four Inches into the Powder, on every Side, which caking and growing hard, had preserv'd the inside like a Kernel in a Shell; so that I had near sixty Pound of very good Powder in the Center of the Cask, and this was an agreeable Discovery to me at that Time; so I carry'd all away thither, never keeping above two or three Pound of Powder with me in my Castle, for fear of a Surprize of any kind: I also carry'd thither all the Lead I had Belt for Bullets.
I fancy'd my self now like one of the ancient Giants, which are said to live in Caves, and Holes, in the Rocks, where none could come at them; for I perswaded my self while I was here, if five hundred Savages were to hunt me, they could never find me out; or if they did, they would not venture to attack me here.
The old Goat who I found expiring, dy'd in the Mouth of the Cave, the next Day after I made this Discovery; and I found it much easier to dig a great Hole there, and throw him in, and cover him with Earth, than to drag him out; so I interr'd him there, to prevent the Offence to my Nose.
I was now in my twenty third Year of Residence in this Island, and was so naturaliz'd to the Place, and to the Manner of Living, that could I have but enjoy'd the Certainty that no Savages would come to the Place to disturb me, I could have been content to have capitulated for spending the rest of my Time there, even to the last Moment, till I had laid me down and dy'd, like the old Goat in the Cave. I had also arriv'd to some little Diversions and Amusements, which made the Time pass more pleasantly with me a great deal, than it did before; as First, I had taught my Poll, as I noted before, to speak; and he did it so familiarly, and talk'd so articulately and plain, that it was very pleasant to me; and he liv'd with me no less than six and twenty Years: How long he might live afterwards, I know not; though I know they have a Notion in the Brasils, that they live a hundred Years; perhaps poor Poll may be alive there still, calling after Poor Robin Crusoe to this Day. I wish no English Man the ill Luck to come there and hear him; but if he did, he would certainly believe it was the Devil. My Dog was a very pleasant and loving Companion to me, for no less than sixteen Years of my Time, and then dy'd, of meer old Age; as for my Cats, they multiply'd as I have observ'd to that Degree, that I was oblig'd to shoot several of them at first, to keep them from devouring me, and all I had; but at length, when the two old Ones I brought with me were gone, and after some time continually driving them from me, and letting them have no Provision with me, they all ran wild into the Woods, except two or three Favourites, which I kept tame; and whose Young when they had any, I always drown'd; and these were part of my Family: Besides these, I always kept two or three houshold Kids about me, who I taught to feed out of my Hand; and I had two more Parrots which talk'd pretty well, and would all call Robin Crusoe; but none like my first; nor indeed did I take the Pains with any of them that I had done with him. I had also several tame Sea-Fowls, whose Names I know not, who I caught upon the Shore, and cut their Wings; and the little Stakes which I had planted before my Castle Wall being now grown up to a good thick Grove, these Fowls all liv'd among these low Trees, and bred there, which was very agreeable to me; so that as I said above, I began to be very well contented with the Life I led, if it might but have been secur'd from the dread of the Savages.
But it was otherwise directed; and it may not be amiss for all People who shall meet with my Story, to make this just Observation from it, vis. How frequently in the Course of our Lives, the Evil which in it self we seek most to shun, and which when we are fallen into it, is the most dreadful to us, is oftentimes the very Means or Door of our Deliverance, by which alone we can be rais'd again from the Affliction we are fallen into. I cou'd give many Examples of this in the Course of my unaccountable Life; but in nothing was it more particularly remarkable, than in the Circumstances of my last Years of solitary Residence in this Island.
It was now the Month of December, as I said above, in my twenty third Year; and this being the Southern Solstice, for Winter I cannot call it, was the particular Time of my Harvest, and requir'd my being pretty much abroad in the Fields; when going out pretty early in the Morning, even before it was thorow Day-light, I was surpriz'd with seeing a Light of some Fire upon the Shore, at a Distance from me, of about two Mile towards the End of the Island, where I had observ'd some Savages had been as before; but not on the other Side; but to my great Affliction, it was on my Side of the Island.
I was indeed terribly surpriz'd at the Sight, and stepp'd short within my Grove, not daring to go out, least I might be surpriz'd; and yet I had no more Peace within, from the Apprehensions I had, that if these Savages in rambling over the Island, should find my Corn standing, or cut, or any of my Works and Improvements, they would immediately conclude, that there were People in the Place, and would then never give over till they had found me out: In this Extremity I went back directly to my Castle, pull'd up the Ladder after me, and made all Things without look as wild and natural as I could.
Then I prepar'd my self within, putting my self in a Posture of Defence; I loaded all my Cannon, as I call'd them; that is to say, my Muskets, which were mounted upon my new Fortification, and all my Pistols, and resolv'd to defend my self to the last Gasp, not forgetting seriously to commend my self to the Divine Protection, and earnestly to pray to God to deliver me out of the Hands of the Barbarians; and in this Posture I continu'd about two Hours; but began to be mighty impatient for Intelligence abroad, for I had no Spies to send out.
After sitting a while longer, and musing what I should do in this Case, I was not able to bear sitting in Ignorance any longer; so setting up my Ladder to the Side of the Hill, where there was a flat Place, as I observ'd before, and then pulling the Ladder up after me, I set it up again, and mounted to the Top of the Hill; and pulling out my Perspective Glass, which I had taken on Purpose, I laid me down flat on my Belly, on the Ground, and began to look for the Place; I presently found there was no less than nine naked Savages, sitting round a small Fire, they had made, not to warm them; for they had no need of that, the Weather being extreme hot; but as I suppos'd, to dress some of their barbarous Diet, of humane Flesh, which they had brought with them, whether alive or dead I could not know.
再说我从山岗上下来,走到岛的西南角,我马上就吓得惊惶失措,目瞪口呆了。只见海岸上满地都是人的头骨、手骨、脚骨,以及人体其他部分的骨头,我心里的恐怖,简直无法形容。我还看到有一个地方曾经生过火,地上挖了一个斗鸡坑似的圆圈,那些野蛮人大概就围坐在那里,举行残忍的宴会,吃食自己同类的肉体。
见到这一情景,我简直惊愕万分。好久好久,我忘记了自身的危险。想到这种极端残忍可怕的行为,想到人性竟然堕落到如此地步,我忘记了自己的恐惧。吃人的事我以前虽然也经常听人说起过,可今天才第一次亲眼看到吃人留下的现常我转过脸去,不忍再看这可怕的景象。我感到胃里东西直往上冒,人也几乎快晕倒了,最后终于恶心得把胃里的东西都吐了出来。我吐得很厉害,东西吐光后才略感轻松些。但我一分钟也不忍心再待下去了,所以马上拔脚飞跑上小山,向自己的家里走去。
当我略微跑远吃人现场之后,还是惊魂不定,呆呆地在路上站了一会儿。直到后来,心情才稍稍安定下来。我仰望苍天,热泪盈眶,心里充满了感激之情,感谢上帝把我降生在世界上别的地方,使我没有与这些可怕的家伙同流合污。尽管我感到自己目前的境况十分悲惨,但上帝还是在生活上给我种种照顾。我不仅不应该抱怨上帝,而且应衷心地感激他。
尤其是,在这种不幸的境遇中,上帝指引我认识他,乞求他的祝福,这给了我莫大的安慰。这种幸福足以补偿我曾经遭受的和可能遭受的全部不幸还有余。
我就怀着这种感激的心情回到了我的城堡。我比以往任何时候都感到自己的住所安全可靠,因而心里也宽慰多了。因为我看到,那些残忍的食人部落来到岛上并不是为了寻找什么他们所需要的东西;他们到这儿来根本不是为了寻求什么,需求什么或指望得到什么。因为,有一点是毫无疑问的:那就是他们一般在树深林密的地方登岸后,从未发现过任何他们所需要的东西。我知道,我在岛上已快十八年了,在这儿,我从未见过人类的足迹。只要我自己不暴露自己,只要自己像以前一样很好地隐蔽起来,我完全可以再住上十八年。何况,我当然绝不会暴露自己,因为我唯一的目的就是很好地隐蔽自己,除非我发现比吃人生番更文明的人,才敢与他们交往。
我对这伙野蛮的畜生,对他们互相吞食这种灭绝人性的罪恶风俗真是深恶痛绝。所以,差不多有两年时间,我整天愁眉不展,郁郁寡欢,并不敢超越自己的活动范围。我所谓的活动范围,就是指我的三处庄园--我的城堡,我的别墅和我那森林中的圈地。这中间,那森林中的圈地,我只是用来养羊,从不派别的用处。因为我天生憎恶那些魔鬼似的食人畜生,所以害怕看到他们,就像害怕看到魔鬼一样。这两年中,我也没有去看过那只小船,只想另外再造一只。我根本不敢再想把那只小船从海上弄回来,唯恐在海上碰到那些野人。那时候,若落到他们手里,我的命运就可想而知了。
可是,尽管如此,时间一久,我对食人生番的担心逐渐消失了,更何况我确信自己没有被他们发现的危险。所以,我又像以前那样泰然自若地过平生活了。所不同的是,我比以前更小心了,比以前更留心观察,唯恐被上岛的野人看见。特别是,我使用枪时更小心谨慎,以免给上岛的野人听到枪声。
天幸我早就驯养了一群山羊,现在就再也不必到树林里去打猎了。这就是说,我用不着开枪了。后来,我也捉过一两只野山羊,但用的都是老办法,即用捕机和陷阱捉到的。因此,此后两年中,我记得我没有开过一次枪,虽然每次出门时还总是带着的。此外,我曾从破船上弄到三把手枪,每次出门,我总至少带上两把,挂在腰间的羊皮皮带上。我又把从船上拿下来的一把大腰刀磨快,系了一条带子挂在腰间。这样,我出门时,样子实在令人可怕。除了前面我描述过的那些装束外,又添了两支手枪和一把没有刀鞘的腰刀,挂在腰间的一条皮带上。
这样过了一段时间,除了增加上述这些预防措施外,我似乎又恢复了以前那种安定宁静的生活方式。这些经历使我越来越体会到,我的境况与其他人相比,实在说不上怎样不幸;尤其是与我可能遭到的不幸相比,更应算是万幸的了。更何况上帝完全可以使我的命运更悲惨。这又使我进行了一番反剩我想,如果大家能把自己的处境与处境更糟的人相比,而不是与处境较好的人相比,就会对上帝感恩戴德,而不会嘟嘟,怨天尤人了。如果能做到这样,不论处于何种境况,人们的怨言就会少多了。
就我目前的境况而言,我其实不缺多少东西。可是,我总感到,由于受到那些野蛮的食人生番的惊吓,因而时时为自己的安全而担惊受怕。以往,为使自己的生活过得舒服,我充分发挥了创造发明的才能,但现在就无法充分发挥了。我本来有一个煞费苦心的计划,想试验一下能否把大麦制成麦芽,再用麦芽来酿起酒。现在,这一计划也放弃了。当然,这实在也是一个荒唐的念头,连我自己也经常责备自己把事情想得太简单了。因为我不久就看出,许多酿造啤酒必不可少的材料我都没有,也无法自己制造。首先,没有啤酒桶。前面说过,我曾尝试做木桶,但怎么也做不好。我曾花了许多天、甚至许多星期、许多个月,结果还是没有成功。其次,没有啤酒花使酒经久不坏,没有酵母发酵,没有铜锅铜罐煮沸。可是,尽管如此,我还是坚信,要是没有对食人生番的惊惧和恐怖,我早就可能着手去做了,甚至也许已做成功了。
因为我的脾气是,不管什么事情,一旦决心去做,不成功是决不罢休的!
可现在,我的发明创造能力向另一方面发展了。我日日夜夜都在捉摸,怎样趁那伙食人恶魔在进行残忍的人肉宴会时杀掉他们一批;并且,如果可能的话,把他们带到岛上准备杀害的受难者救出来。我脑子里想到各种各样的计划,想消灭这些野蛮的家伙,或者至少吓他们一下,让他们再也不敢上岛来。如果真的想把我酝酿过的计划通通记载下来的话,那就会比这本书还要厚了。然而,这一切都是不切实际的空想;只想不做,起不了任何作用。更何况如果他们二三十人成群结伙而来,我孤身一人怎么能对付他们呢?他们带着标枪或弓箭之类的武器,射起来能像我的枪打得一样准。
有时我又想在他们生火的地方下面挖个小坑,里面放上五六磅火药。等他们生火时,必然会引爆火药,把附近的一切都炸毁。但是,我首先不愿意在他们身上浪费这么多的火药,因为我剩下的火药已不到一桶了。再说,我也不能保证火药在特定的时间爆炸,给他们一个突然袭击。可能最多也不过把火星溅到他们的脸上,使他们吓一跳罢了,决不会使他们放弃这块地方,永远不敢再来。因此,我把这个计划搁置一边另想办法。后来,我又想到可以找一个适当的地方埋伏起来,把三支枪装上双倍的弹药,等他们正热闹地举行那残忍的仪式时,就向他们开火,一枪准能打死或打伤两三个。
然后带上我的三支手枪和一把腰刀向他们冲去,如果他们只有一二十人,准可以把他们杀得一个不留。这个妄想使我心里高兴了好几个星期。我整天整夜想着这个计划,连做梦也想,以至梦见我向那些野人开枪的情景。
我对这个计划简直着了迷,竟费了好几天的工夫去寻找适当的埋伏地点。我还常到他们吃人的地点去察看,所以对那儿地势已了如指掌。尤其是我报复心切,恨不得一刀杀死他们二三十个;而在我一次次亲临现场,看到那恐怖的景象,看到那些野蛮的畜牲互相吞食的痕迹,更使我怒气冲天。
最后,我在小山坡上找到了一个地方,可以安全地把自己隐蔽起来,监视他们小船上岛的一举一动。在他们上岸之前,我可藏身在丛林里,因为那儿有一个小坑,大小正好能使我藏身。我可以稳稳当当地坐在那里,把他们食人的残忍行为看得一清二楚。等他们凑在一块儿的时候,就对准他们头上开枪,准能打中目标,第一枪就能打伤他们三四个。
于是,我就决定在这儿把计划付诸实施。我先把两支短枪和一支鸟枪装好弹药,每支短枪装上双弹丸和四五颗小子弹,大约有手枪子弹那么大;在鸟枪里装了特大号鸟弹。另外,每支手枪再装四颗子弹。出发之前,再把弹药带足,以作第二第三次射击之用。就这样,我完成了战斗准备。
计划安排已定,我在自己的想象中又一次次地付诸实施。
同时,每天上午我都要跑到那小山坡去巡视一番,看看海上有没有小船驶近小岛,或从远处向小岛驶来。我选定的地点离我的城堡有三英里多。一连守望了两三个月,每天都毫无收获回到家里,我开始对这件苦差使感到厌倦了。这段时间,不仅海岸上或海岸附近没有小船的影子,就连用眼睛和望远镜向四面八方了望,整个洋面上也没有任何船只的影踪。
在每天到小山上巡逻和了望期间,我始终精神抖擞,情绪高涨,决心实现自己的计划。我似乎随时都可以干得出惊人的壮举,一口气杀掉二三十个赤身裸体的野人。至于他们究竟犯了什么滔天大罪,我却从未认真考虑,只是当初看到这些土人伤天害理的习俗,从心底里本能地感到厌恶和愤怒罢了。造物主治理世界,当然是英明无比的,但他似乎已经弃绝了这些土人。任其他们按照自己令人憎恶的、腐败堕落的冲动去行事,任其他们多少世纪以来干着这种骇人听闻的勾当,形成这种可怕的风俗习惯。要是他们不是被上天所遗弃,要是他们没有堕落到如此毫无人性的地步,他们是决不会落到现在这种境地的。但是,前面提到,一连两三个月,我每天上午都外出巡视,却始终毫无结果。我开始感到厌倦了。
于是,我对自己的计划也改变了看法,并开始冷静地考虑我自己的行动。我想:这么多世纪以来,上天都容许这些人不断互相残杀而不惩罚他们,那我有什么权力和责任擅自将他们判罪处死,代替上天执行对他们的判决呢?这些人对我又究竟犯了什么滔天大罪呢?我又有什么权力参与他们的自相残杀呢?我经常同自己进行辩论:"我怎么知道上帝对于这件公案是怎样判断的呢?毫无疑问,这些人并不知道他们互相吞食是犯罪行为;他们那样做并不违反他们的良心,因而他们也不会受到良心的谴责。他们并不知道食人是违背天理的罪行而故意去犯罪,就像我们大多数人犯罪时一样。他们并不认为杀死战俘是犯罪行为,正如我们并不认为杀牛是犯罪行为;他们也不认为吃人肉是犯罪行为,正如我们并不认为吃羊肉是犯罪行为。"我稍稍从这方面考虑了一下,就觉得自己不对了。我感到他们并不是我过去心目中所谴责的杀人犯。有些基督徒在战斗中常常把战俘处死,甚至在敌人已经丢下武器投降后,还把成队成队的敌人毫无人道地杀个精光。从这方面来看,那些土人与战斗中残杀俘虏的基督徒岂不一样!
其次,我又想到:尽管他们用如此残暴不仁的手段互相残杀,于我却毫无干系。他们并没有伤害我。如果他们想害我,我为了保卫自己而向他们进攻,那也还说得过去。可现在我并没有落到他们手里,他们也根本不知道我的存在,因而也不可能谋害我。在这种情况下,我若主动攻击他们,那就没有道理了。我若这样做,无异于承认那些西班牙人在美洲的暴行是正当的了。大家都知道,西班牙人在美洲屠杀了成千上万的当地土人。这些土著民族崇拜偶象,确确实实是野蛮民族;在他们的风俗中,有些仪式残忍野蛮,如把活人祭祀他们的偶像等等。可是,对西班牙人而言,他们都是无辜的。西班牙人这种杀人灭种的行为,无论在西班牙人自己中间,还是在欧洲各基督教国家中谈论起来,都引起极端的憎恶和痛恨,认为这是一种兽性的屠杀,一种人神共恨的残酷不仁的暴行。"西班牙人"这个名词,在一切具有人道主义思想和基督徒同情心的人们中,成了一个可怕的字眼,就仿佛只有西班牙这个国家才出这样的人:他们残酷不仁,对不幸的人竟毫无怜悯之心;而同情和怜悯正是仁慈品德的标志。
基于上述考虑,我中止了执行攻击野人的计划,或至少在某些方面几乎完全停止了行动。这样,我逐渐放弃了这一计划,因为,我认为自己作出袭击那些野人的决定是错误的。
我不应干预他们的内部事务,除非他们先攻击我。我应做的是,只要可能,尽量防止他们攻击我自己。不过,现在我至少知道,如果自己一旦被发现并受到攻击,该如何对付他们了。
另外,我也认识到,这种主动攻击野人的计划不仅不能拯救自己,反而会完全彻底地毁灭自己。因为,除非我有绝对把握杀死当时上岸的每一个人,还能杀死以后上岸的每一个人;否则,如果有一个人逃回去,把这儿发生的一切告诉他们的同胞,他们就会有成千上万的人过来报仇,我这岂不是自取灭亡吗?这是我当前绝对不应该做的事。
最后,我得出结论:无论在原则上还是策略上,我都不应该管他们自己的事。我的任务是,采取一切可能的办法,不让他们发现我,并且不能留下任何一点细微的痕迹,会让他们怀疑有人住在这小岛上。
这种聪明的处世办法还唤起了我的宗教信念。种种考虑使我认识到,当时我制定的那些残酷的计划,要灭绝这些无辜的野人,完全背离了我自己的职责,因为,他们至少对我是无辜的。至于他们彼此之间所犯的种种罪行,于我毫无关系。他们所犯的罪行,是一种全民性的行为,我应该把他们交给上帝,听凭上帝的裁判,因为上帝是万民的统治者,上帝知道用什么样的全民性的处罚来惩治全民性的犯罪行为,怎样公开判决这些在光天化日之下吃人饮血的罪人。
现在,事情在我看来已经非常清楚了。我觉得,上帝没有让我干出这件事来,实是一件最令我庆幸的事情。我认识到,我没有任何理由去干这件事;如果我真的干了,我所犯的罪行无异于故意谋杀。于是我跪下来,以最谦卑的态度向上帝表示感谢,感谢他把我从杀人流血的罪恶中拯救出来,并祈祷他保佑我,不让我落入野人手里,以防止我动手伤害他们;降非上天高声召唤我,让我为了自卫才这样做。
此后,我在这种心情下又过了将近一年。在这段时期,我再也没有去那座小山视察他们的踪影,了解他们有没有人上岸。因为,一方面我不想碰到这些残忍的家伙,不想对他们进行攻击;另一方面,我生怕自己一旦碰上他们会受不住诱惑,把我原来的计划付诸实施,生怕自己看到有机可趁时对他们进行突然袭击。在此期间,我只做了一件事:那就是把停放在岛那边的小船转移到岛的东边来。我在一个高高的岩石下发现了一个小湾,我就把船隐藏在这个小湾里。那儿有一股急流,我知道那些野人无论如何也不敢或不愿坐小船进来的。
同时,我把放在船上的一切东西都搬了下来,因为一般短途来往不需要这些东西,其中包括我自己做的桅杆和帆,一个锚样的东西--其实,根本不像锚或搭钩,可我已尽我所能,做成那个样子。我把船上所有的东西通通搬下来,免得让人发现有任何船只或有人居住的踪迹。
此外,我前面已提到过,我比以往更深居简出。除了干一些日常工作,如挤羊奶,照料树林中的羊群等,我很少外出了。羊群在岛的另一边,因此没有什么危险。因为那些偶尔上岛的野人,从来没有想在岛上找到什么东西,所以他们从不离开海岸向岛里走。我也毫不怀疑,自从我处处小心提防他们之后,他们还照常到岛上来过好几次。真的,我一想到我过去出游的情况,不禁不寒而栗。我以前外出只带一支枪,枪里装的也是一些小子弹。就这样我在岛上到处东走走,西瞧瞧,看看能不能弄到什么吃的东西。在这种情况下,假使碰上他们,或被他们发现,我该怎么办呢?因为,我没有多少自卫能力。或者,假定我当时看到的不是一个人的脚印,而是一二十个野人,一见到我就向我追来。他们善于奔跑,我是无论如何跑不过他们的,那我必定会落在他们手里!
有时想到这些,我就会吓得魂不附体,心里异常难过,半天都恢复不过来。我简直不能设想当时会怎么办,因为我不但无法抵抗他们,甚至会因惊惶失措而失去从容应付的能力,更不用说采取我现在经过深思熟虑和充分准备的这些措施了。的确,我认真地把这些事情思考过后,感到闷闷不乐,有时好半天都排解不开。最后,我总是想到上帝,感谢他把我从这么多看不到的危险中拯救出来,使我躲开了不少灾祸,而我自己是无论如何无法躲避这些灾祸的,因为我完全不可能预见到这些灾祸,也完全没有想到会有这种灾祸。
以前,当在生活中遭遇到各种危难时,我开始认识到上帝对我们总是慈悲为怀,使我们绝处逢生。现在,这种感想又重新回到我的心头。我觉得,我们经常神奇地逃脱大难,连自己也不知道是怎么回事。有时,我们会陷入无所适从的境地,踌躇不定不知道该走哪条路才好。这时候,内心常常会出现一种暗示,指示我们走这条路,虽然我们原来想走的是那条路。不仅如此,有时我们的感觉、愿望、或我们的任务明明要我们走那条路,可是心里忽然灵机一动,要我们走这条路;这种灵机也不知道是从哪里来的,也不知道出自什么影响,可就是压倒了原来的一切感觉和愿望,使我们走这条路。结果,后来的事实证明,如果我们当初走了我们自己想走的路,或者走了我们心目中认为应该走的路,我们则早已陷于万劫不复的境地。反复思索之后,我自己定下了一条规矩:每当自己心里出现这种神秘的暗示或冲动,指示我应做什么或不应做什么,我就坚决服从这种神秘的指示,尽管我不知道为什么该这么做或该这么走,我知道的只是心里的这种暗示或冲动。在我一生中,可以找出许许多多这样的例子,由于我遵循了这种暗示或冲动而获得了成功,尤其是我流落到这个倒霉的荒岛上以后的生活,更证明了这一点。此外还有许多例子。当时我若能用现在的眼光去看待,是一定会意识到的。但是,世上有许多道理,只要有一天能大彻大悟,就不算太晚。我奉劝那些三思而后行的人,如果在他们的生活里,也像我一样充满了种种出乎寻常的变故,或者即使没有什么出乎寻常的变故,都千万不要忽视这种上天的启示,不管这种启示是什么看不见的神明发出的。关于这一点,我不准备在这里讨论,也无法加以阐明。但这种启示至少可以证明,精神与精神之间是可以交往的,有形的事物和无形的事物之间是有神秘的沟通的。而且,这种证明是永远无法推翻的。关于这一点,我将用我后半生的孤寂生活中一些很重要的例子加以证明。
由于我一直生活在危险之中,因而日夜忧虑,寝食不安,这就扼杀了我为使自己生活舒适方便的发明创造能力。如果我坦诚承认这一点,读者一定不会感到奇怪。我当前最迫切需要解决的是自己的安全问题,而不是食物问题。我连一个钉子都不敢钉,一块木头都不敢劈,生怕声音被别人听见;同样,我更不敢开枪了。尤其叫我担心的是生火这件事,唯恐烟火在白天老远就被人看见而把自己暴露。因此,我把一切需要生火的事,如用锅子烧东西或抽烟斗等都转移到我那林间别墅去做。在那儿,我呆了一段时期之后,发现了一个天然地穴,这使我感到无限的欣慰。地穴很深。我敢保证,即使野人来到洞口,也不敢进去。说实在的,一般人谁都不敢进去,只有像我这样一心一意想寻找安全的藏身之所才会冒险深入。
地穴的洞口在一块大岩石底下。有一天,我正在那儿砍柴,准备用来烧炭,偶然间发现了一个洞口,这一发现我除了归诸天意外,只能说是偶然了。现在,在我继续讲我的发现之前,必须先谈谈我为什么要烧炭。
前面我已经说过,我不敢在我的住所附近生火。可是,那儿是我生活的地方,我不能不烤面包,不能不煮肉。因此,我计划按照我在英国看到的办法,拿一些木头放在草皮泥层下烧,把木头烧成木炭,熄火后再把木炭带回家。这样,如果家里需用火,就可用木炭来烧,省得有冒烟的危险。
烧木炭的事顺便就谈到这里。再说有一天,我正在那里砍柴,忽然发现,在一片浓密的矮丛林后面,好像有一个深坑。我怀着好奇心想进去看看。我费力地走进洞口,发现里面相当大。我在里面站直了还绰绰有余,甚至还能再站一个人。可是说实在的,我一进去就赶快逃出来,因为我朝地穴深处一看,只见里面一片漆黑,在黑暗中,忽然看见有两只发亮的大眼睛,也不知道是魔鬼的眼睛,还是人的眼睛,在洞口射进去的微弱光线的反射下,那对眼睛像两颗星星闪闪发光。
尽管这样,过了一会儿,我又恢复了镇静,连声骂自己是个大傻瓜。我对自己说,谁要是怕魔鬼,谁就不配孤身一人在岛上住二十年了。而且,我敢相信,在这洞里,没有其他东西会比我自己更令人可怕的了。于是,我又鼓起勇气,点燃了一个火把,重新钻进洞去。可是,我刚走出三步,又像第一次那样吓得半死。因为我忽然听到一声很响的叹息声,就像一个人在痛苦中发出的叹息。接着是一阵断断续续的声音,好像是半吞半吐的说话声,然后紧跟着又是一声深深的叹息声。我马上后退,吓出了一身冷汗。要是我当时戴帽子的话,一定会吓得毛发倒竖,把帽子也挤掉。可是,我还是尽量鼓起勇气。而且,我想上帝和上帝的神力是无所不在的,他一定会保护我。这样一想,也稍稍受到了鼓舞。于是,我高举火把,向前走了两步。我借着火光一看,原来地上躺着一只大得吓人的公山羊,正在那里竭力喘气,快要死了。这山羊大概是在这个洞穴里找到了一个老死的地方。
我推了推它,看看能不能把它赶出去;它也动了动,想站起来,可是已经爬不起来了。于是我想,就让他躺在那里吧。既然它把我吓了一大跳,只要它一息尚存,也一定会把胆敢闯进来的野人吓跑。
这时,我从惊恐中恢复过来,开始察看周围的情况。我发现洞不太大,周围不过十二英尺,但这完全是一个天然的洞穴,既不方,也不圆,不成什么形状,没有任何人工斧凿的痕迹。我又发现,在洞的尽头,还有一个更深的地方,但很低,只能俯下身子爬进去。至于这洞通向何处,我当然不得而知。当时我手头没有蜡烛,只好暂时不进去,但我决定第二天带上蜡烛和火绒盒进去。那火绒盒我是用一支短枪上的枪机做成的。另外,我还得带一盘火种。
第二天,我带了六支自己做的大蜡烛去了。我现在已经能用羊脂做出很好的蜡烛。我钻进那低矮的小洞时,不得不俯下身子,这我前面已提过了。我在地上爬了约十来码。说起来,这实在是一个大胆的冒险举动,因为我既不知道要爬多远,也不知道里面究竟有什么东西。钻过这段通道后,洞顶豁然开朗,洞高差不多有数十英尺。我环顾周围上下,只见这地下室或地窟的四壁和顶上,在我两支蜡烛烛光的照耀下,反射出万道霞光,灿烂耀目;这情景是我上岛以来第一次看到的。至于那岩石中是钻石,是宝石,还是金子,我当然不清楚,但我想很可能是这类珍宝。
虽然在洞里没有光线,但这却是一个令人赏心悦目的最美丽的洞穴。地上干燥平坦,表面是一层细碎的沙石,所以不会有令人厌恶的毒蛇爬虫。洞顶和四壁也十分干燥。这个洞穴唯一的缺点是入口太小,然而正是因为进出困难,才使它成为一个安全隐蔽的地方,而这也正是我千方百计寻求的庇护所。所以,这个缺点于我来说反而成了一个优点。我对自己的发现真是欣喜万分,决定立刻把我所最放心不下的一部分东西搬到洞里来,特别是我的火药库和多余的枪支,包括两支鸟枪和三支短枪。因为我一共有三支鸟枪和八支短枪,在城堡里留下五支短枪架在外墙洞里像大炮一样,作战中需要时也可随时拿下来使用。
在这次转移军火时,我也顺便打开了我从海上捞起来的那桶受潮的火药。结果发现,火药四周进了三四寸水,结成了一层坚固的硬壳,可里面部分却完好无损,仿佛壳里的果仁保存得很好。我从桶里弄到了差不多六十磅好火药,这真是一个可喜的收获。不用说,我把全部火药都搬了过去。从此以后,我在城堡里最多只放三磅火药,唯恐发生任何意外。
另外,我又把做子弹的铅也全部搬了过去。
在我自己的想象中,我成了一个古代的巨人,据说这些巨人住在山岩的洞穴里,没有人能攻击他们。我自己想,只要我呆在洞里,即使有五百个野人来追踪我,也不会找到我;就是给他们发现了,也不敢向我进攻。
我发现洞穴的第二天,那只垂死的老山羊就在洞口边死