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鲁宾逊漂流记 Chapter 4 B
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I began now to perceive my Powder abated considerably, and this was a Want which it was impossible for me to supply, and I began seriously to consider what I must do when I should have no more Powder; that is to say, how I should do to kill any Goat. I had, as is observ'd in the third Year of my being here, kept a young Kid, and bred her up tame, and I was in hope of getting a He-Goat, but I could not by any Means bring it to pass, 'till my Kid grew an old Goat; and I could never find in my Heart to kill her, till she dy'd at last of meer Age.

But being now in the eleventh Year of my Residence, and, as I have said, my Ammunition growing low, I set my self to study some Art to trap and snare the Goats, to see whether I could not catch some of them alive, and particularly I wanted a She-Goat great with young.

To this Purpose I made Snares to hamper them, and I do believe they were more than once taken in them, but my Tackle was not good, for I had no Wire, and I always found them broken, and my Bait devoured.

At length I resolv'd to try a Pit-fall, so I dug several large Pits in the Earth, in Places where I had observ'd the Goats used to feed, and over these Pits I plac'd Hurdles of my own baking too, with a great Weight upon them; and several times I put Ears of Barley, and dry Rice, without setting the Trap, and I could easily perceive that the Goats had gone in and eaten up the Corn, for I could see the Mark of their Feet. At length I set three Traps in one Night, and going the next Morning I found them all standing, and yet the Bait eaten and gone: This was very discouraging. However, I alter'd my Trap, and, not to trouble you with Particulars, going one Morning to see my Trap, I found in one of them a large old He-Goat, and in one of the other, three Kids, a Male and two Females.

As to the old one, I knew not what to do with him, he was so fierce I durst not go into the Pit to him; that is to say, to go about to bring him away alive, which was what I wanted. I could have kill'd him, but that was not my Business, nor would it answer my End. So I e'en let him out, and he ran away as if he had been frighted out of his Wits: But I had forgot then what I learn'd afterwards, that Hunger will tame a Lyon. If I had let him stay there three or four Days without Food, and then have carry'd him some Water to drink, and then a little Corn, he would have been as tame as one of the Kids, for they are mighty sagacious tractable Creatures where they are well used.

However, for the present I let him go, knowing no better at that time; then I went to the three Kids, and taking them one by one, I tyed them with Strings together, and with some Difficulty brought them all home.

It was a good while before they wou'd feed, but throwing them some sweet Corn, it tempted them and they began to be tame; and now I found that if I expected to supply my self with Goat-Flesh when I had no Powder or Shot left, breeding some up tame was my only way, when perhaps I might have them about my House like a Flock of Sheep.

But then it presently occurr'd to me, that I must keep the tame from the wild, or else they would always run wild when they grew up, and the only Way for this was to have some enclosed Piece of Ground, well fenc'd either with Hedge or Pale, to keep them in so effectually, that those within might not break out, or those without break in.

This was a great Undertaking for one Pair of Hands, yet as I saw there was an absolute Necessity of doing it, my first Piece of Work was to find out a proper Piece of Ground, viz. where there was likely to be Herbage for them to eat, Water for them to drink, and Cover to keep them from the Sun.

Those who understand such Enclosures will think I had very little Contrivance, when I pitch'd upon a Place very proper for all these, being a plain open Piece of Meadow-Land, or Savanna, (as our People call it in the Western Collonies,) which had two or three little Drills' of fresh Water in it, and at one end was very woody. I say they will smile at my Forecast, when I shall tell them I began my enclosing of this Piece of Ground in such a manner, that my Hedge or Pale must have been at least two Mile about. Nor was the Madness of it so great as to the Compass, for if it was ten Mile about I was like to have time enough to do it in. But I did not consider that my Goats would be as wild in so much Compass as if they had had the whole Island, and I should have so much Room to chace them in, that I should never catch them.

My Hedge was begun and carry'd on, I believe, about fifty Yards, when this Thought occurr'd to me, so I presently stopt short, and for the first beginning I resolv'd to enclose a Piece of about 150 Yards in length, and 100 Yards in breadth, which as it would maintain as many as I should have in any reasonable time, so as my Flock encreased, I could add more Ground to my Enclosure.

This was acting with some Prudence, and I went to work with Courage. I was about three Months hedging in the first Piece, and till I had done it I tether'd the three Kids in the best part of it, and us'd them to feed as near me as possible to make them familiar; and very often I would go and carry them some Ears of Barley, or a handful of Rice, and feed them out of my Hand; so that after my Enclosure was finished, and I let them loose, they would follow me up and down, bleating after me for a handful of Corn.

This answer'd my End, and in about a Year and half I had a Flock of about twelve Goats, Kids and all; and in two Years more I had three and forty, besides several that I took and kill'd for my Food. And after that I enclosed five several Pieces of Ground to feed them in, with little Pens to drive them into, to take them as I wanted, and Gates out of one Piece of Ground into another.

But this was not all, for now I not only had Goats Flesh to feed on when I pleas'd, but Milk too, a thing which indeed in my beginning I did not so much as think of, and which, when it came into my Thoughts, was really an agreeable Surprize. For now I set up my Dairy, and had sometimes a Gallon or two of Milk in a Day. And as Nature, who gives Supplies of Food to every Creature, dictates even naturally how to make use of it; so I that had never milk'd a Cow, much less a Goat, or seen Butter or Cheese made, very readily and handily, tho' after a great many Essays and Miscarriages, made me both Butter and Cheese at last, and never wanted it afterwards.

How mercifully can our great Creator treat his Creatures, even in those Conditions in which they seem'd to be overwhelm'd in Destruction. How can he sweeten the bitterest Providences, and give us Cause to praise him for Dungeons and Prisons. What a Table was here spread for me in a Wilderness, where I saw nothing at first but to perish for Hunger.

It would have made a Stoick smile to have seen, me and my little Family sit down to Dinner; there was my Majesty the Prince and Lord of the whole island; I had the Lives of all my Subjects at my absolute Command. I could hang, draw, give Liberty, and take it away, and no Rebels among all my Subjects.

Then to see how like a King I din'd too all alone, attended by my Servants, Poll, as if he had been my Favourite, was the only Person permitted to talk to me. My Dog who was now grown very old and crazy, and had found no Species to multiply his Kind upon, sat always at my Right Hand, and two Cats, one on one Side the Table, and one on the other, expecting now and then a Bit from my Hand, as a Mark of special Favour.

But these were not the two Cats which I brought on Shore at first, for they were both of them dead, and had been interr'd near my Habitation by my own Hand; but one of them having multiply'd by I know not what Kind of Creature, these were two which I had preserv'd tame, whereas the rest run wild in the Woods, and became indeed troublesom to me at last; for they would often come into my House, and plunder me too, till at last I was obliged to shoot them, and did kill a great many; at length they left me with this Attendance, and in this plentiful Manner I lived; neither could I be said to want any thing but Society, and of that in some time after this, I was like to have too much.

I was something impatient, as I have observ'd, to have the Use of my Boat; though very loath to run any more Hazards; and therefore sometimes I sat contriving Ways to get her about the Island, and at other Times I sat my self down contented enough without her. But I had a strange Uneasiness in my Mind to go down to the Point of the Island, where, as I have said, in my last Ramble, I went up the Hill to see how the Shore lay, and how the Current set, that I might see what I had to do: This Inclination encreas'd upon me every Day, and at length I resolv'd to travel thither by Land, following the Edge of the Shore. I did so: But had any one in England been to meet such a Man as I was, it must either have frighted them, or rais'd a great deal of Laughter; and as I frequently stood still to look at my self, I could not but smile at the Notion of my travelling though Yorkshire with such an Equipage, and in such a Dress: Be pleas'd to take a Scetch of my Figure as follows,

I had a great high shapeless Cap, made of a Goat's Skin, with a Flap hanging down behind, as well to keep the Sun from me, as to shoot the Rain off from running into my Neck; nothing being so hurtful in these Climates, as the Rain upon the Flesh under the Cloaths.

I had a short Jacket of Goat-Skin, the Skirts coming down to about the middle of my Thighs; and a Pair of open-knee'd Breeches of the same, the Breeches were made of the Skin of an old He-goat, whose Hair hung down such a Length on either Side, that like Pantaloons it reach'd to the middle of my Legs; Stockings and Shoes I had none, but had made me a Pair of some-things, I scarce know what to call them, like Buskins to flap over my Legs, and lace on either Side like Spatter-dashes; but of a most barbarous Shape, as indeed were all the rest of my Cloaths.

I had on a broad Belt of Goats-Skin dry'd, which I drew together with two Thongs of the same, instead of Buckles, and in a kind of a Frog on either Side of this. Instead of a Sword and a Dagger, hung a little Saw and a Hatchet, one on one Side, one on the other. I had another Belt not so broad, and fasten'd in the same Manner, which hung over my Shoulder; and at the End of it, under my left Arm, hung two Pouches, both made of Goat's-Skin too; in one of which hung my Powder, in the other my Shot: At my Back I carry'd my Basket, on my Shoulder my Gun, and over my Head a great clumsy ugly Goat-Skin Umbrella, but which, after all, was the most necessary Thing I had about me, next to my Gun: As for my Face, the Colour of it was really not so Moletta-like as one might expect from a Man not at all careful of it, and living within nine or ten Degrees of the Equinox. My Beard I had once suffer'd to grow till it was about a Quarter of a Yard long; but as I had both Scissars and Razors sufficient, I had cut it pretty short, except what grew on my upper Lip, which I had trimm'd into a large Pair of Mahometan Whiskers, such as I had seen worn by some Turks, who I saw at Sallee; for the Moors did not wear such, tho' the Turks did; of these Muschatoes or Whiskers, I will not say they were long enough to hang my Hat upon them; but they were of a Length and Shape monstrous enough, and such as in England would have pass'd for frightful.

But all this is by the by; for as to my Figure, I had so few to observe me, that it was of no manner of Consequence; so I say no more to that Part. In this kind of Figure I went my new Journey, and was out five or six Days. I travell'd first along the Sea Shore, directly to the Place where I first brought my Boat to an Anchor, to get up upon the Rocks; and having no Boat now to take care of, I went over the Land a nearer Way to the same Height that I was upon before, when looking forward to the Point of the Rocks which lay out, and which I was oblig'd to double with my Boat, as is said above: I was surpriz'd to see the Sea all smooth and quiet, no Ripling, no Motion, no Current, any more there than in other Places.

I was at a strange Loss to understand this, and resolv'd to spend some Time in the observing it, to see if nothing from the Sets of the Tide had occasion'd it; but I was presently convinc'd how it was, viz. That the Tide of Ebb setting from the West, and joyning with the Current of Waters from some great River on the Shore, must be the Occasion of this Current; and that according as the Wind blew more forcibly from the West, or from the North, this Current came nearer, or went farther from the Shore; for waiting thereabouts till Evening, I went up to the Rock again, and then the Tide of Ebb being made, I plainly saw the Current again as before, only, that it run farther off, being near half a League from the Shore; whereas in my Case, it set close upon the Shore, and hurry'd me and my Canoe along with it, which at another Time it would not have done.

This Observation convinc'd me, That I had nothing to do but to observe the Ebbing and the Flowing of the Tide, and I might very easily bring my Boat about the Island again: But when I began to think of putting it in Practice, I had such a Terror upon my Spirits at the Remembrance of the Danger I had been in, that I could not think of it again with any Patience; but on the contrary, I took up another Resolution which was more safe, though more laborious; and this was, That I would build, or rather make me another Periagua or Canoe; and so have one for one Side of the Island, and one for the other.

You are to understand, that now I had, as I may call it, two Plantations in the Island; one my little Fortification or Tent, with the Wall about it under the Rock, with the Cave behind me, which by this Time I had enlarg'd into several Apartments, or Caves, one within another. One of these, which was the dryest, and largest, and had a Door out beyond my Wall or Fortification; that is to say, beyond where my Wall joyn'd to the Rock, was all fill'd up with the large Earthen Pots, of which I have given an Account, and with fourteen or fifteen great Baskets, which would hold five or six Bushels each, where I laid up my Stores of Provision, especially my Corn, some in the Ear cut off short from the Straw, and the other rubb'd out with my Hand.

A for my Wall made, as before, with long Stakes or Piles, those Piles grew all like Trees, and were by this Time grown so big, and spread so very much, that there was not the least Appearance to any one's View of any Habitation behind them.

Near this Dwelling of mine, but a little farther within the Land, and upon lower Ground, lay my two Pieces of Corn-Ground, which I kept duly cultivated and sow'd, and which duly yielded me their Harvest in its Season; and whenever I had occasion for more Corn, I had more Land adjoyning as fit as that.

Besides this, I had my Country Seat, and I had now a tollerable Plantation there also; for first, I had my little Bower, as I call'd it, which I kept in Repair; that is to say, I kept the Hedge which circled it in, constantly fitted up to its usual Height, the Ladder standing always in the Inside; I kept the Trees which at first were no more than my Stakes, but were now grown very firm and tall; I kept them always so cut, that they might spread and grow thick and wild, and make the more agreeable Shade, which they did effectually to my Mind. In the Middle of this I had my Tent always standing, being a piece of a Sail spread over Poles set up for that Purpose, and which never wanted any Repair or Renewing; and under this I had made me a Squab or Couch, with the Skins of the Creatures I had kill'd, and with other soft Things, and a Blanket laid on them, such as belong'd to our Sea-Bedding, which I had saved, and a great Watch-Coat to cover me; and here, whenever I had Occasion to be absent from my chief Seat, I took up my Country Habitation.

Adjoyning to this I had my Enclosures for my Cattle, that is to say, my Goats: And as I had taken an inconceivable deal of Pains to fence and enclose this Ground, so I was so uneasy to see it kept entire, lest the Goats should break thro', that I never left off till with infinite Labour I had stuck the Out-side of the Hedge so full of small Stakes, and so near to one another, that it was rather a Pale than a Hedge, and there was scarce Room to put a Hand thro' between them, which afterwards when those Stakes grew, as they all did in the next rainy Season, made the Enclosure strong like a Wall, indeed stronger than any Wall.

This will testify for me that I was not idle, and that I spared no Pains to bring to pass whatever appear'd necessary for my comfortable Support; for I consider'd the keeping up a Breed of tame Creatures thus at my Hand, would be a living Magazine of Flesh, Milk, Butter and Cheese, for me as long as I liv'd in the Place, if it were to be forty Years; and that keeping them in my Reach, depended entirely upon my perfecting my Enclosures to such a Degree, that I might be of keeping them together; which by this Method indeed I so effectually secur'd, that when these little Stakes began to grow, I had planted them so very thick, I was forced to pw some of them up again.

In this Place also I had my Grapes growing, which I principally depended on for my Winter Store of Raisins; and which I never fail'd to preserve very carefully, as the best and most agreeable Dainty of my whole Diet; and indeed they were not agreeable only, but physical, whole-some, nourishing, and refreshing to the last Degree.

As this was also about half Way between my other Habitation, and the Place where I had laid up my Boat, I generally stay'd, and lay here in my Way thither; for I used frequently to visit my Boat, and I kept all Things about or belonging to her in very good Order; sometimes I went out in her to divert my self, but no more hazardous Voyages would I go, nor scarce ever above a Stone's Cast or two from the Shore, I was so apprehensive of being hurry'd out my Knowledge again by the Currents, or Winds, or any ether Accident. But now I come to a new Scene of my Life. It happen'd one Day about Noon going towards my Boat, I was exceedingly surpriz'd with the Print of a Man's naked Foot on the Shore, which was very plain to be seen in the Sand: I stood like one Thunder-struck, or as if I had seen an Apparition; I listen'd, I look'd round me, I could hear nothing, nor see any Thing, I went up to a rising Ground to look farther, I went up the Shore and down the Shore, but it was all one, I could see no other Impression but that one, I went to it again to see if there were any more, and to observe if it might not be my Fancy; but there was no Room for that, for there was exactly the very Print of a Foot, Toes, Heel, and every Part of a Foot; how it came thither, I knew not, nor could in the least imagine. But after innumerable fluttering Thoughts, like a Man perfectly confus'd and out of my self, I came Home to my Fortification, not feeling, as we say, the Ground I went on, but terrify'd to the last Degree, looking behind me at every two or three Steps, mistaking every Bush and Tree, and fancying every Stump at a Distance to be a Man; nor is it possible to describe how many various Shapes affrighted Imagination represented Things to me in, how many wild Ideas were found every Moment in my Fancy, and what strange unaccountable Whimsies came into my Thoughts by the Way.

When I came to my Castle, for so I think I call'd it ever after this, I fled into it like one pursued; whether I went over by the Ladder as first contriv'd, or went in at the Hole in the Rock, which I call'd a Door, I cannot remember; no, nor could I remember the next Morning, for never frighted Hare fled to Cover, or Fox to Earth, with more Terror of Mind than I to this Retreat.

I slept none that Night; the farther I was from the Occasion of my Fright, the greater my Apprehensions were, which is something contrary to the Nature of such Things, and especially to the usual Practice of all Creatures in Fear: But I was so embarrass'd with my own frightful Ideas of the Thing, that I form'd nothing but dismal Imaginations to my self, even tho' I was now a great way off of it. Sometimes I fancy'd it must be the Devil; and Reason joyn'd in with me upon this Supposition: For how should any other Thing in human Shape come into the Place? Where was the Vessel that brought them? What Marks was there of any other Footsteps? And how was it possible a Man should come there? But then to think that Satan should take human Shape upon him in such a Place where there could be no manner of Occasion for it, but to leave the Print of his Foot behind him, and that even for no Purpose too, for he could not be sure I should see it; this was an Amusement the other Way; I consider'd that the Devil might have found out abundance of other Ways to have terrify'd me than this of the single Print of a Foot. That as I liv'd quite on the other Side of the Island, he would never have been so simple to leave a Mark in a Place where 'twas Ten Thousand to one whether I should ever see it Or not, and in the Sand too, which the first Surge of the Sea upon a high Wind would have defac'd entirely: All this seem'd inconsistent with the Thing it self, and with all the Notions we usually entertain of the Subtilty of the Devil.

Abundance of such Things as these assisted to argue me out' of all Apprehensions of its being the Devil: And I presently concluded then, that it must be some more dangerous Creature, (viz.) That it must be some of the Savages of the main Land over-against me, who had wander'd out to Sea in their Canoes; and either driven by the Currents, or by contrary Winds had made the Island; and had been on Shore, but were gone away again to Sea, being as loth, perhaps, to have stay'd in this desolate Island, as I would have been to have had them.

While these Reflections were rowling upon my Mind, I was very thankful in my Thoughts, that I was so happy as not to be thereabouts at that Time, or that they did not see my Boat, by which they would have concluded that some Inhabitants had been in the Place, and perhaps have search'd farther for me: Then terrible Thoughts rack'd my Imagination about their having found my Boat, and that there were People here; and that if so, I should certainly have them come again in greater Numbers, and devour me; that if it should happen so that they should not find me, yet they would find my Enclosure, destroy all my Corn, carry away all my Flock of tame Goats, and I should perish at last for meer Want.

Thus my Fear banish'd all my religious Hope; all that former Confidence in God which was founded upon such wonderful Experience as I had had of his Goodness, now vanished, as if he that had fed me by Miracle hitherto, could not preserve by his Power the Provision which he had made for me by his Goodness: I reproach'd my self with my Easiness, that would not sow any more Corn one Year than would just serve me till the next Season, as if no Accident could intervene to prevent my enjoying the Crop that was upon the Ground; and this I thought so just a Reproof, that I resolv'd for the future to have two or three Years Corn beforehand, so that whatever might come, I might not perish for want of Bread.

How strange a Chequer Work of Providence is the Life of Man! and by what secret differing Springs are the Affections hurry'd about as differing Circumstance present To Day we love what to Morrow we hate; to Day we seek what to Morrow we shun; to Day we desire what to Morrow we fear; nay even tremble at the Apprehensions of; this was exemplify'd in me at this Time in the most lively Manner imaginable; for I whose only Affliction was, that I seem'd banished from human Society, that I was alone, circumscrib'd by the boundless Ocean, cut off from Mankind, and condemn'd to what I call'd silent Life; that I was as one who Heaven thought not worthy to be number'd among the Living, or to appear among the rest of his Creatures; that to have seen one of my own Species, would have seem'd to me a Raising me from Death to Life, and the greatest Blessing that Heaven it self, next to the supreme Blessing of Salvation, could bestow; I say, that I should now tremble at the very Apprehensions of seeing a Man, and was ready to sink into the Ground at but the Shadow or silent Appearance of a Man's having set his Foot in the Island.

Such is the uneven State of human Life: And it afforded me a great many curious Speculations afterwards, when I had a little recover'd my first Surprize; I consider'd that this was the Station of Life the infinitely wise and good Providence of God had determin'd for me, that as I could not foresee what the Ends of Divine Wisdom might be in all this, so I was not to dispute his Sovereignty, who, as I was his Creature, had an undoubted Right by Creation to govern and dispose of me absolutely as he thought fit; and who, as I was a Creature who had offended him, had likewise a judicial Right to condemn me to what Punishment he thought fit; and that it was my Part to submit to bear his Indignation, because I had sinn'd against him.

I then reflected that God, who was not only Righteous but Onmipotent, as he had thought fit thus to punish and afflict me, so he was able to deliver me; that if he did not think fit to do it, 'twas my unquestion'd Duty to resign my self absolutely and entirely to his Will; and on the other Hand, it was my Duty also to hope in him, pray to him, and quietly to attend the Dictates and Directions of his daily Providence.

These Thoughts took me up many Hours, Days; nay, I may say, Weeks and Months; and one particular Effect of my Cogitations on this Occasion, I cannot omit, viz. One Morning early, lying in my Bed, and fill'd with Thought about my Danger from the Appearance of Savages, I found it discompos'd me very much, upon which those Words of the Scripture came into my Thoughts, Call upon me in the Day of Trouble, and I will deliver, and thou shalt glorify me.

Upon this, rising chearfully out of my Bed, my Heart was not only comforted, but I was guided and encourag'd to pray earnestly to God for Deliverance: When I had done praying, I took up my Bible, and opening it to read, the first Words that presented to me, were, Wait on the Lord, and be of good Cheer, and he shall strengthen thy Heart; wait, I say, on the Lord: It is impossible to express the Comfort this gave me. In Answer, I thankfully laid down the Book, and was no more sad, at least, not on that Occasion.

In the middle of these Cogitations, Apprehensions and Reflections, it came into my Thought one Day, that all this might be a meer Chimera of my own; and that this Foot might be the Print of my own Foot, when I came on Shore from my Boat: This chear'd me up a little too, and I began to perswade my self it was all a Delusion; that it was nothing else but my own Foot, and why might not I come that way from the Boat, as well as I was going that way to the Boat; again, I consider'd also that I could by no Means tell for certain where I had trod, and where I had not; and that if at last this was only the Print of my own Foot, I had play'd the Part of those Fools, who strive to make stories of Spectres, and Apparitions; and then are frighted at them more than any body.

Now I began to take Courage, and to peep abroad again; for I had not stirr'd out of my Castle for three Days and Nights; so that I began to starve for Provision; for I had little or nothing within Doors, but some Barley Cakes and water. Then I knew that my Goats wanted to be milk'd too, which usually was my Evening Diversion; and the poor Creatures were in great Pain and Inconvenience for want of it; and indeed, it almost spoil'd some of them, and almost dry'd up their Milk.

Heartning my self therefore with the Belief that this was nothing but the Print of one of my own Feet, and so I might be truly said to start at my own Shadow, I began to go abroad again, and went to my Country House, to milk my Flock; but to see with what Fear I went forward, how often I look'd behind me, how I was ready every now and then to lay down my Basket, and run for my Life, it would have made any one have thought I was haunted with an evil Conscience, or that I had been lately most terribly frighted, and so indeed I had.

However, as I went down thus two or three Days, and having seen nothing, I began to be a little bolder; and to think there was really nothing in it, but my own Imagination: But I cou'd not perswade my self fully of this, till I should go down to the Shore again, and see this Print of a Foot, and measure it by my own, and see if there was any Similitude or Fitness, that I might be assur'd it was my own Foot: But when I came to the Place, First, It appear'd evidently to me, that when I laid up my Boat, I could not possibly be on Shore any where there about. Secondly, When I came to measure the Mark with my own Foot, I found my Foot not so large by a great deal; both these Things fill'd my Head with new Imaginations, and gave me the Vapours again, to the highest Degree; so that I shook with cold, like one in an Ague: And I went Home again, fill'd with the Belief that some Man Or Men had been on Shore there; or in short, that the Island was inhabited, and I might be surpriz'd before I was aware; and what course to take for my Security I knew not.

O what ridiculous Resolution Men take, when possess'd with Fear! It deprives them of the Use of those Means which Reason offers for their Relief. The first Thing I propos'd to my self, was, to throw down my Enclosures, and turn all my tame Cattle wild into the Woods, that the Enemy might not find them; and then frequent the Island in Prospect of the same, or the like Booty: Then to the simple' Thing of Digging up my two Corn Fields, that they might not find such a Grain there, and still be prompted to frequent the Island; then to demolish my Bower, and Tent, that they might not see any Vestiges of Habitation, and be prompted to look farther, in order to find out the Persons inhabiting.

These were the Subject of the first Night's Cogitation, after I was come Home again, while the Apprehensions which had so over-run my Mind were fresh upon me, and my Head was full of Vapours, as above: Thus Fear of Danger is ten thousand Times more terrifying than Danger it self, when apparent to the Eyes; and we find the Burthen of Anxiety greater by much, than the Evil which we are anxious about; and which was worse than all this, I had not that Relief in this Trouble from the Resignation I used to practice, that I hop'd to have. I look'd, I thought, like Saul, who complain'd not only that the Philistines were upon him; but that God had forsaken him; for I did not now take due Ways to compose my Mind, by crying to God in my Distress, and resting upon his Providence, as I had done before, for my Defence and Deliverance; which if I had done, I had, at least, been more cheerfully supported under this new Surprise, and perhaps carry'd through it with more Resolution.

This Confusion of my Thoughts kept me waking all Night; but in the Morning I fell asleep, and having by the Amusement of my Mind, been, as it were, tyr'd, and my Spirits exhausted; I slept very soundly, and wak'd much better compos'd than I had ever been before; and now I began to think sedately; and upon the utmost Debate with my self, I concluded, That this Island, which was so exceeding pleasant, fruitful, and no farther from the main Land than as I had seen, was not so entirely abandon'd as I might imagine: That altho' there were no stated Inhabitants who liv'd on the Spot; yet that there might sometimes come Boats off from the Shore, who either with Design, or perhaps never, but when they were driven by cross Winds, might come to this Place.

That I had liv'd here fifteen Years now, and had not met with the least Shadow or Figure of any People yet; and that if at any Time they should be driven here, it was probable they went away again as soon as ever they could, seeing they had never thought fit to fix there upon any Occasion, to this Time.

That the most I cou'd suggest any Danger from, was, from any such casual accidental Landing of straggling People from the Main, who, as it was likely if they were driven hither, were here against their Wills; so they made no stay here, but went off again with all possible Speed, seldom staying one Night on Shore, least they should not have the Help of the Tides, and Day-light back again; and that therefore I had nothing to do but to consider of some safe Retreat, in Case I should see any Savages land upon the Spot.

Now I began sorely to repent, that I had dug my Cave so large, as to bring a Door through again, which Door, as I said, came out beyond where my Fortification joyn'd to the Rock; upon maturely considering this therefore, I resolv'd to draw me a second Fortification, in the same Manner of a Semicircle, at a Distance from my Wall, just where I had planted a double Row of Trees, about twelve Years before, of which I made mention: These Trees having been planted so thick before, they wanted but a few Piles to be driven between them, that they should be thicker, and stronger, and my Wall would be soon finish'd.

So that I had now a double Wall, and my Outer Wall was thickned with Pieces Of Timber, old Cables, and every Thing I could think of, to make it strong; having in it seven little Holes, about as big as I might put my Arm out at: In the In-side of this, I thickned my Wall to above ten Foot thick, with continual bringing Earth out of my Cave, and laying it at the Foot of the Wall, and walking upon it; and through the seven Holes, I contriv'd to plant the Musquets, of which I took Notice, that I got seven on Shore out of the Ship; these, I say, I planted like my Cannon, and fitted them into Frames that held them like a Carriage, that so I could fire all the seven Guns in two Minutes Time: This Wall I was many a weary Month a finishing, and yet never thought my self safe till it was done.

When this was done, I stuck all the Ground without my Wall, for a great way every way, as full with Stakes or Sticks of the Osier like Wood, which I found so apt to grow, as they could well stand; insomuch, that I believe I might set in near twenty thousand of them, leaving a pretty large Space between them and my Wall, that I might have room to see an Enemy, and they might have no shelter from the young Trees, if they attempted to approach my outer Wall.

Thus in two Years Time I had a thick Grove and in five or six Years Time I had a Wood before my Dwelling, growing so monstrous thick and strong, that it was indeed perfectly impassable; and no Men of what kind soever, would ever imagine that there was any Thing beyond it, much less a Habitation: As for the Way which I propos'd to my self to go in and out, for I left no Avenue; it was by setting two Ladders, one to a Part of the Rock which was low and then broke in, and left room to place another Ladder upon that; so when the two Ladders were taken down, no Man living could come down to me without mischieving himself; and if they had come down, they were still on the Out-side of my outer Wall.

Thus I took all the Measures humane Prudence could suggest for my own Preservation; and it will be seen at length, that they were not altogether without just Reason; though I foresaw nothing at that Time, more than my meer Fear suggested to me.

While this was doing, I was not altogether Careless of my other Affairs; for I had a great Concern upon me, for my little Herd of Goats; they were not only a present Supply to me upon every Occasion, and began to be sufficient to me, without the Expence of Powder and Shot; but also without the Fatigue of Hunting after the wild Ones, and I was loth to lose the Advantage of them, and to have them all to nurse up over again.

To this Purpose, after long Consideration, I could think of but two Ways to preserve them; one was to find another convenient Place to dig a Cave Under-ground, and to drive them into it every Night; and the other was to enclose two or three little Bits of Land, remote from one another and as much conceal'd as I could, where I might keep about half a Dozen young Goats in each Place: So that if any Disaster happen'd to the Flock in general, I might be able to raise them again with little Trouble and Time: And this, tho' it would require a great deal of Time and Labour, I thought was the most rational Design.

Accordingly I spent some Time to find out the most retir'd Parts of the Island; and I pitch'd upon one which was as private indeed as my Heart could wish for; it was a little damp Piece of Ground in the Middle of the hollow and thick Woods, where, as is observ'd, I almost lost my self once before, endeavouring to Come back that Way from the Eastern Part of the Island: Here I found a clear Piece of Land near three Acres, so surrounded with Woods, that it was almost an Enclosure by Nature, at least it did not want near so much Labour to make it so, as the other Pieces of Ground I had work'd so hard at.

I immediately went to Work with this Piece of Ground, and in less than a Month's Time, I had so fenc'd it round, that my Flock or Herd, call it which you please, who were not so wild now as at first they might be supposed to be, were well enough secur'd in it. So, without any farther Delay, I removed ten young She-Goats and two He-Goats to this Piece; and when they were there, I continued to perfect the Fence till I had made it as secure as the other, which, however, I did at more Leisure, and it took me up more Time by a great deal.

All this Labour I was at the Expence of, purely from my Apprehensions on the Account of the Print of a Man's Foot which I had seen; for as yet I never saw any human Creature come near the Island, and I had now liv'd two Years under these Uneasinesses, which indeed made my Life much less comfortable than it was before; as may well be imagin'd by any who know what it is to live in the constant Snare of the Fear of Man; and this I must observe with Grief too, that the Discomposure of my Mind had too great Impressions also upon the religious Part of my Thoughts, for the Dread and Terror of falling into the Hands of Savages and Canibals, lay so upon my Spirits, that I seldom found my self in a due Temper for Application to my Maker, at least not with the sedate Calmness and Resignation of Soul which I was wont to do; I rather pray'd to God as under great Affliction and Pressure of Mind, surrounded with Danger, and in Expectation every Night of being murther'd and devour'd before Morning; and I must testify from my Experience, that a Temper of Peace, Thankfulness, Love and Affection, is much more the proper Frame for Prayer than that of Terror and Discomposure; and that under the Dread of Mischief impending, a Man is no more fit for a comforting Performance of the Duty of praying to God, than he is for Repentance on a sick Bed: For these Discomposures affect the Mind as the others do the Body; and the Discomposure of the Mind must necessarily be as great a Disability as that of the Body, and much greater, Praying to God being properly an Act Of the Mind, not of the Body.

But to go on; After I had thus secur'd one Part of my little living Stock, I went about the whole Island, searching for another private Place, to make such another Deposit; when wandring more to the West Point of the Island, than I had ever done yet, and looking out to Sea, I thought I saw a Boat upon the Sea, at a great Distance; I had found a Prospective Glass, or two, in one of the Seamen's Chests, which I sav'd out of our Ship; but I had it not about me, and this was so remote, that I could not tell what to make of it; though I look'd at it till my Eyes were not able to hold to look any longer; whether it was a Boat, or not, I do not know; but as I descended from the Hill, I could see no more of it, so I gave it over; only I resolv'd to go no more out without a Prospective Glass in my Pocket.

When I was come down the Hill, to the End of the Island, where indeed I had never been before, I was presently convinc'd, that the seeing the Print of a Man's Foot, was not such a strange Thing in the Island as I imagin'd; and but that it was a special Providence that I was cast upon the Side of the Island, where the Savages never came: I should easily have known, that nothing was more frequent than for the Canoes from the Main, when they happen'd to be a little too far out at Sea, to shoot over to that Side of the Island for Harbour; likewise as they often met, and fought in their Canoes, the Victors having taken any Prisoners, would bring them over to this Shore, where according to their dreadful Customs, being all Canibals, they would kill and eat them; of which hereafter.

我现在开始发现我的火药已大大减少了,这是无法补充的必需品。我开始认真考虑不用弹药猎山羊的问题,也就是用什么办法捕获山羊。前面我也曾提到,上岛第三年,我捉到了一只雌的小山羊,经过驯养,它长大了。后来,我一直想再活捉一只雄山羊与它配对;可是想尽办法也没能抓到一只。到最后,小山羊成了老山羊,我怎么也不忍心杀它,直至它老死。

现在我已在岛上生活了十一年。前面也已说过,我的弹药越来越少了。于是我开始研究如何用陷阱或夹子捕捉山羊,看看能否活捉它一两只;我特别希望能抓到一只怀孕的母羊。

为此,我做了几只夹子来捕捉山羊。我确信有好几次山羊曾被夹子夹住了,但是,由于没有铅丝之类的金属线,夹子做得不理想,结果发现它们总是吃掉诱饵弄坏夹子后逃之夭夭。

最后,我决定挖陷阱试试看。于是,我在山羊经常吃草的地方掘了几个大陷坑,在坑上盖上几块自制木条格子,再在上面压了一些很重的东西。开始几次,我在复盖好的陷坑上面放了一些大麦穗子和干米,但有意未装上机关。我一看就知道,山羊曾走进去吃过谷物,因为上面留下了它们的脚樱末了,有一天晚上,我一下子在三个陷阱里都安了机关。

第二天早晨跑去一看,只见食饵都给吃掉了,可三个机关都没有动。这真使人丧气。于是,我改装了机关。具体我不再细说了。总而言之,有一天早上我去看看陷阱,结果发现在一个陷阱里扣着一只老公羊,另一个陷阱里扣着三只小羊,其中一只是公羊,两只是母羊。

对那只老公羊我毫无办法。它凶猛异常,我不敢下坑去捉它。我是想抓活的,这也是我的目的。当然我也可以把它杀死,但我不想那么做,因为那不是我的意愿。所以我只好把它放走了。老山羊一跑出陷坑,便像吓掉魂一样一溜烟逃跑了。当时我没有想到,就是一头狮子,也可以用饥饿的办法把它驯服,但这只是到后来我才懂得了这个办法。如果我让那头老山羊在陷阱里饿上三四天,不给它吃东西,然后,再稍稍给它点水喝,给它点谷物吃,它也一定会像那些小山羊一样驯服。只要饲养得法,山羊是十分伶俐、十分容易驯养的。

可是,当时我并不知道有什么好办法,所以只好把老山羊放走了。然后,我就到小山羊的陷坑里,一只只把它们捉起来,再用绳子把它们拴在一起,又费了不少力气才把它们牵回家。

小山羊好久都不肯吃东西。后来,我给它们吃一些谷粒,因为味道甜美,它们很喜欢吃,就慢慢驯顺起来。现在我知道,如果弹药用尽之后还想吃山羊肉,唯一的办法就是驯养一些山羊。将来也许会在我屋子周围有一大群山羊呢!

目前,我首先想到的是,必须把驯养的山羊与野山羊隔离弃来。否则,驯养的小山羊一长大,就会跑掉又变成野山羊。而要把驯养的山羊与野山羊隔离,唯一的办法是找一块空地,用坚固的篱笆或木栅栏圈起来。这样,里面的驯羊出不来,外面的野羊进不去。

我孤身一人,要圈地修筑篱笆无疑是一项巨大的工程,可这样做又是绝对必要的。所以,我首先得找到一块合适的地方,那儿既要有青草供山羊吃,又要有水供它们喝,并且还要有荫凉的地方供它们歇息。

我找到了一个十分合适的地方,以上三个条件样样具备。

这是一大片平坦的草原,也就是西部殖民者所说的热带或亚热带那种树木稀疏的草原。草原上有两三条小溪,水流清澈,小溪尽头有不少树木。但凡是有圈地经验的人,一定会认为我这种做法缺少计算,如果我把自己原来的想法告诉他们,他们也一定会笑话我。这不仅因为我的圈地规模过大,如果要把篱笆或木栅栏修筑起来,至少有两英里长!其实,篱笆长短还在其次,即使十英里长我也有工夫将它完成,主要还是圈地范围过大所带来的后果。当时我没有考虑到,山羊在这么宽广的范围内,一定会到处乱跑,就像没有围起来一样。如果要捕捉它们,就根本无法抓到。

我开始动手修筑篱笆,但直到完成了大约五十码时,才想到了上面提到的问题。于是我立即停工,并决定先圈一块长约一百五十码,宽约一百码的地方。这个面积,在相当一段时期内,足以容纳我能驯养的山羊;等以后羊群增加了,我可以进一步扩大圈地。

这个办法较为审慎可行,我就鼓起勇气重新动手干起来。

这第一块圈地用了差不多三个月的时间才完成。在此期间,我一直把三只小羊拴在最好的地方,并让它们一直在我近旁吃草,使它们与我混熟。我还经常用大麦穗子和一把把大米喂它们,让它们在我手里吃。这样,当我把篱笆修筑完成之后,即使把它们放开,也会回来跟着我转,并咩咩叫着向我讨吃哩!

我的目的总算实现了。不到一年半,我已连大带小有了十二只山羊了。又过了两年,除了被我宰杀吃掉的几只不算,我已有了四十三只了。这以后,我又圈了五六块地方养羊。在这些圈地上,都做了窄小的围栏;我要捉羊时,就把羊赶进去。同时,在各圈地之间,又做了一些门使之彼此相通。这还不算,现在我不仅随时有羊肉吃,还有羊奶喝。这在当初我根本想也没有想到。所以我忽然想到可以喝羊奶时,真是喜出望外。现在,我有了自己的挤奶房,有时每天可产一两加仑的羊奶。我这人一生没有挤过牛奶,更没有挤过羊奶,也没有见过人家做奶油或乳酪。可是,经过多次的试验和失败,我终于做出了奶油和干酪,而且做得方便利索。可见大自然不但使每个生灵都得到食物,而且还自然而然地教会他们如何充分地利用各种食物。

造物主对待自己所创造的一切生灵是多么仁慈啊,哪怕他们身处绝境,他也还是那么慈悲为怀。他能把苦难的命运变得甜蜜,即使我们囚于牢狱也都要赞美他!当我刚来到这片荒野时,一定以为自己会饿死;而现在,摆在我面前是多么丰盛的筵席啊!

你如果是一个信奉斯多葛哲学的人,看到我和我的小家庭成员共进晚餐的情景,也一定会忍俊不禁。我坐在中间,俨然是全岛的君王。我对自己的臣民拥有绝对的生杀之权。我可以任意处置我的臣民,要杀就杀,要抓就抓,要放就放,而且不会有反叛者。

再看看我是怎样用餐的吧!我一个人坐在那儿进餐,其他都是我的臣民在一旁侍候。我的鹦鹉仿佛是我的宠臣,只有它才被允许与我讲话。我的狗现在已又老又昏聩了,它总是坐在我右手;而那两只猫则各坐一边,不时地希望从我手里得到一点赏赐,并把此视为一种特殊的恩宠。

这两只猫已不是我最初从破船上带下来的了,那两只早就死了,我亲自把它们葬在我的住所附近。不过其中一只不知同什么动物交配,生下了许多小猫。这两只就是我从那些小猫中留下来驯养起来的,其余的都跑到树林里成了野猫。那些野猫后来给我添了不少麻烦,因为它们经常跑到我家里来劫掠我的东西。最后我不得不开枪杀了它们一大批,终于把它们赶走了。所以,我现在有那么多仆人侍候我,生活也过得很富裕,唯一缺乏的就是没有人可以交往而已,其它什么都不缺。但不久之后,我就有人交往了,后来甚至感到交往的人太多了。

我曾经说过,我非常希望能使用那只小船,但又不想再次冒险。因此,有时我会坐着苦思冥想,竭力设法把船弄到小岛的这边来;有时我又会安下心来,觉得不要它也行。可是我这人生性不安于现状,总是想到我上次出游时到过的海岛的那一边走一趟,看看有没有办法把小船弄过来,因为,正是在那儿,我可以登上小山,远眺海岸和潮水的流向。这念头在心里变得越来越强烈,最后终于决定沿着海岸从陆上走到那边去。于是我就出发了。如果在英国有人碰到我这样的人,一定会吓一大跳,再不然也会大笑一阵。我也常常停下来打量自己,想到自己如果穿这套行装,像这样打扮在约克郡旅行,也禁不住笑起来。下面我把自己的模样描绘一下吧。

我头上戴着一顶山羊皮做的便帽,这帽子做得又高又大,很不像样,后面还垂着一条长长的帽缘,一来是为了遮太阳,二来是为了挡雨,免得雨水流进脖子。在热带,被雨淋湿是最伤身体的。

我上身穿了一件山羊皮做的短外套,衣襟遮住了一半大腿。下身穿了一条齐膝短裤,也是用一只老公羊的皮做成的,两旁的羊毛一直垂到小腿上,看上去象条长裤。我没有鞋子,也没有袜子,但做了一双短靴似的东西,自己也不知道该叫什么,靴长刚及小腿,两边再用绳子系起来,好像绑腿一样。

这双靴子与我身上的其他装束一样,极端拙劣难看。

我腰间束了一条宽阔的皮带,那是用晒干了的小羊皮做的,皮带没有搭扣,只用两根山羊皮条系着。带子两边有两个搭环,原来是水手用来挂短刀或短剑的,可我挂了一把小锯和一把斧头,一边一把。另一条较窄的皮带,斜挂在我的肩膀上,也用皮条系着。这条皮带的末端,在我左胳膊下,挂着两个山羊皮袋,一个装火药,一个装子弹。我背上背着筐子,肩上扛着枪,头上撑着一顶羊皮做的大阳伞,样子又难看又笨拙。尽管如此,除了枪之外,这把伞也是我随身不可缺少的东西。至于我的脸,倒不像穆拉托人那么黑,看上去像一个住在赤道九度、十度之内的热带地区那种不修边幅的人。我的胡子曾长到四分之一码长,但我有的是剪刀和剃刀,所以就把它剪短了,但上嘴唇的胡子仍留着,并修剪成像回教徒式的八字大胡子,像我在萨累见到的土耳其人留的胡子那样,因为摩尔人是不留这种胡子的,只有土耳其人才留。我不敢说我的这副胡子长得可以挂我的帽子,但确实又长又大,要是在英国给人看见,准会吓得一大跳。

不过,关于我的这副模样,只是顺便提提罢了,因为根本没有人会看到,我模样如何就无关紧要了,所以我也不必多费笔墨。我就带着这副尊容出发,一直走了五六天。我先沿海岸走到我上次泊船登上小山的地方。这次我用不着照管小船,就抄近路走上前次登过的那座小山岗。当我远眺伸入海中的岬角时,前面我曾提到、前次到达这儿时我不得不驾船绕道而行,但现在只见海面风平浪静,那儿既没有波澜,也大出乎我的意料。

对这个现象我感到莫明其妙,决心花些时间留心观察一下,看看是否与潮水方向有关。不久我就明白了其中的奥妙。

原来,从西边退下来的潮水与岸上一条大河的水流汇合,形成了那股急流;而西风或北风的强度又决定了那股急流离岸的远近。等到傍晚,我重新登上小山顶。当时正值退潮,我又清楚地看到了那股急流。只不过这一次离岸较远,约在一海里半处;而我上次来时,急流离岸很近,结果把我的独木舟冲走了。在别的时候,也许不会发生这种情况。

这次观察使我确信,只要注意潮水的涨落,我可以很容易把小船弄到我住地所在的那一边。但当我想把自己的主意付诸实施的时候,又想到了上次所经历的危险,不由心惊肉跳,连想也不敢想了。于是,我作了一个新的决定,那就是再造一条独木舟。这样,我在岛的这边有一只,岛的那边也有一只。这样做虽然比较费力,但却比较安全。

你们要知道,现在我在岛上已有了两个庄园--我也许可以这么称呼我的两处住所。一处是我的那个小小的城堡或帐篷。这儿,在小山脚下,四周建起了围墙,后面是一个岩洞,现在,岩洞已扩大成好几个房间,或者说好几个洞室,一个套着一个。其中有一间最干燥最宽大,并有一个门通到围墙外面,或者说是城堡外面。也就是说,通到了围墙和山石的连接处。在这一间里,我放满了前面提到过的那些陶土烧制成的大瓦缸,还放了十四五只大筐子,每只大筐子能装五六浦式耳粮食,主要装的是谷物。有的筐子装着直接从茎秆上摘下来的穗子,有的装着我用手搓出来的谷粒。

那堵围墙我当时是用高大的树桩筑成的;现在,这些树桩已长成了树,又大又密,谁都看不出后面会住人。

靠近住所,往岛内走几步,在一片地势较低的地方,有两块庄稼地。我按时耕种,按时收获。如果我需要更多的粮食,毗邻还有不少同样相宜的土地可以扩大。

此外,在我的乡间别墅那边,现在也有一座像样的庄园。

首先,我有一间茅舍。这间茅舍还不断加以修理。也就是说,我经常修剪周围的树篱,使其保持一定的高度。我的梯子也一直放在树篱里面。那些树起初只不过是一些树桩,现在却长得又粗又高了。我不断修剪树桩,希望能长得枝多叶茂,生机勃勃。后来,这些树真的长得蔚然成荫,令我十分称心如意。树篱中央,则搭着一顶帐篷。帐篷是用一块帆布做成的,由几根柱子支撑着,永远不必修理或重搭。帐篷下放了一张睡榻,那是我用兽皮和其他一些柔软的材料做成的;那些兽皮当然是我从打死了的野兽身上剥下来的。睡榻上还铺了一条毛毯,是我从船上的卧具中拿下来的;另外还有一件很大的值夜衣服用作盖被。我每次有事离开我的老住所时,就住在这座乡间别墅里。

与别墅毗邻的是我的圈地,里面放养着山羊。当初,为了圈这块地,我曾历尽艰辛。我竭尽全力,把篱笆做得十分严密,免得圈在里面的山羊逃出去。我不遗余力,辛勤劳作,在篱笆外插满了小木桩,而且插得又密又多,样子不像篱墙,倒像是一个栅栏;在木桩与木桩之间,连手都插不进去。后来,在第三个雨季中,这些小木桩都长大了,成了一堵坚固的围墙,甚至比围墙还坚固。

这一切都可以证明我并没有偷懒。为了使生活舒适,凡是必须做的事,我都会不辞辛劳地去完成。我认为,手边驯养一批牲畜,就等于替自己建立一座羊肉、羊奶、奶油和奶酪的活仓库。无论我在岛上生活多少年--那怕是四十年--也将取之不尽,用之不竭。同时,我也认为,要想一伸手就能抓到这些山羊,就得把羊圈修筑得十分严密,绝不能让它们到处乱跑。我把这个主意彻底实施,结果把木桩插得太密了,等它们长大后,我还不得不拔掉一些呢!在这里,我还种了一些葡萄,我每年冬天贮藏的葡萄干,主要是从自己葡萄园里收获的葡萄晒制而成的。这些葡萄干我都小心保藏,因为这是我现有食物中最富营养最可口的食品。葡萄干不仅好吃,而且营养丰富,祛病提神,延年益寿。

我的乡间别墅正处于我泊船的地方和我海边住所的中途,因此每次去泊船处我总要在这里停留一下。我常去看看那条独木舟,并把船里的东西整理得井井有条。有时我也驾起独木舟出去消遣消遣,但我再也不敢离岸太远冒险远航了,唯恐无意中被急流、大风或其他意外事故把我冲走或刮走。然而,正在这时我生活却发生了新的变化。

一天中午,我正走去看我的船,忽然在海边上发现一个人的脚印;那是一个赤脚的脚印,清清楚楚地印在沙滩上。这简直把我吓坏了。我呆呆地站在那里,犹如挨了一个晴天霹雳,又像大白天见到了鬼。我侧耳倾听,又环顾四周,可什么也没有听到,什么也没有见到。我跑上高地,向远处眺望,又在海边来回跑了几趟,可还是毫无结果。脚印就这一个,再也找不到其他脚樱我跑到脚印前,看看还有没有别的脚印,看看它是不是我自己的幻觉。可是,脚印就是脚印,而且就这么一个,不容置疑。脚趾头、脚后跟,是一个完整的脚樱可这脚印是怎么在这儿留下来的呢?我无法知道,也无从猜测。这使我心烦意乱,像一个精神失常的人那样,头脑里尽是胡思乱想,后来就拔腿往自己的防御工事跑去,一路飞奔,脚不沾地。可是,我心里又惶恐至极,一步三回头,看看后面有没有人追上来,连远处的一丛小树,一枝枯树干,都会使我疑神疑鬼,以为是人。一路上,我是惊恐万状,头脑里出现各种各样的幻景,幻觉里又出现各种各样荒诞不经的想法以及无数离奇古怪的妄想,简直一言难荆我一跑到自己的城堡--以后我就这样称呼了--一下子就钻了进去,好像后面真的有人在追赶似的。至于我是按原来的想法,用梯子爬进去的呢,还是从我打通了的岩洞的门里钻进去的,连自己都记不得了,甚至到了第二天早上也想不起来。因为,我跑进这藏身之所时,心里恐怖已极,就是一只受惊的野兔逃进自己的草窝里,一只狐狸逃进自己的地穴里,也没有像我这样胆颤心惊。

我一夜都没合眼。时间越长,我的疑惧反而越大。这似乎有点反常,也不合乎受惊动物正常的心理状态。原来主要是因为我自己大惊小怪,因而引起一连串的胡思乱想,结果自己吓自己;而且,想的时间越长,越是都往坏处想。有时候,我幻想着,那定是魔鬼在作祟;于是,我的理智便随声附和,支持我的想法。我想,其他人怎么会跑到那儿去呢?把他们送到岛上来的船在哪里呢?别的脚印又在什么地方呢?一个人又怎么可能到那边去呢?但是,再一想,要是说魔鬼在那儿显出人形,仅仅是为了留下一个人的脚印,那又未免毫无意义,因为我未必一定会看到它。我想,魔鬼若为了吓吓我,可以找到许多其它办法,何必留下这个孤零零的脚印呢?

何况我住在岛的另一头,魔鬼绝不会头脑如此简单,把一个记号留在我十有八九看不到的地方,而且还留在沙滩上,因为只要一起大风,就会被海潮冲得一干二净。这一切看来都不能自圆其说,也不符合我们对魔鬼的一般看法,在我们眼里,魔鬼总是十分乖巧狡猾的。

所有这一切都使我不得不承认,我害怕那是魔鬼的作为是毫无根据的。因此,我马上得出一个结论:那一定是某种更危险的生物,也就是说,一定是海岛对岸大陆上的那些野人来跟我作对。他们划着独木舟在海上闲游,可能卷入了急流,或碰上逆风,偶尔冲到或刮到海岛上。上岸后又不愿留在这孤岛上,又回到了海上,要不我该发现他们了。

当上述种种想法在我头脑里萦回时,我起初还庆幸自己当时没有在那边,也没有给他们发现我的小船。要是他们真的看到了小船,就会断定这小岛上有人,说不定会来搜寻我。

可是,我又胡思乱想起来,出现了一些恐怖的念头。我想,他们可能已发现了我的小船,并且也已发现这岛上有人。又想,如果这样,他们一定会来更多的人把我吃掉;即使他们找不到我,也一定会发现我的围墙。那样,他们就会把我的谷物通通毁掉,把我驯养的山羊都劫走;最后,我只好活活饿死。

恐惧心驱走了我全部的宗教信仰。在此之前,我亲身感受到上帝的恩惠,使我产生了对上帝的信仰;现在,这种信仰完全消失了。过去,上帝用神迹赐给我食物;而现在,我似乎认为他竟无力来保护他所赐给我的食物了。于是,我责备自己贪图安逸的生活,不肯多种一些粮食,只图能接得上下一季吃的就算了,好像不会发生什么意外似的,认为我一定能享用地里收获的谷物。这种自我谴责是有道理的,所以我决定以后一定要屯积好两三年的粮食。这样,无论发生什么事,也不致于因缺乏粮食而饿死。

天命难测,使人生显得多么光怪陆离,变化无穷啊!在不同的环境下,人的感情又怎样变幻无常啊!我们今天所爱的,往往是我们明天所恨的;我们今天所追求的,往往是我们明天所逃避的;我们今天所希翼的,往往是我们明天所害怕的,甚至会吓得胆战心惊。现在,我自己就是一个生动的例子。以前,我觉得,我最大的痛苦是被人类社会所抛弃,孤身一人,被汪洋大海所包围,与人世隔绝,被贬黜而过着寂寞的生活。仿佛上天认定我不足与人类为伍,不足与其他人交往似的。我当时觉得,假如我能见到一个人,对我来说不亚于死而复生,那将是上帝所能赐给我的最大的幸福,这种幸福仅次于上帝饶恕我在人间所犯的罪孽,让我登上天堂。而现在呢,只要疑心可能会看到人,我就会不寒而栗;只要见到人影,看到人在岛上留下的脚印无声无息地躺在那里,我就恨不得地上有个洞让我钻下去。

人生就是这么变幻无常。我惊魂甫定之后,产生了关于人生的离奇古怪的想法。我认识到,我当前的境遇,正是大智大仁的上帝为我安排的。我既然无法预知天命,就该服从上帝的绝对权威。因为,我既然是上帝创造的,他就拥有绝对的权力按照他的旨意支配我和处置我;而我自己又曾冒犯过他,他当然有权力给我任何惩罚,这是合情合理的。我自己也理所当然地应接受他的惩罚,因为我对上帝犯了罪。

于是,我又想到,既然公正而万能的上帝认为应该这样惩罚我,他当然也有力量拯救我。如果上帝认为不应该拯救我,我就应该认命,绝对地、毫无保留地服从上帝的旨意;同时,我也应该对上帝寄予希望,向他祈祷,静静地听候他圣意的吩咐和指示。

我就这样苦思冥想,花去了许多小时,许多天,甚至许多星期,许多个月。思考的结果,在当时对我产生了一种特殊的影响,不能不在这里提一下。那就是:一天清晨,我正躺在床上想着野人出现的危险,心里觉得忐忑不安。这时,我忽然想到《圣经》上的话:"你在患难的时候呼求我,我就必拯救你,而你要颂赞我。

"于是,我愉快地从床上爬起来,不仅心里感到宽慰多了,而且获得了指引和鼓舞,虔诚地向上帝祈祷,恳求他能拯救我。做完祈祷之后,我就拿起《
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