One of the common grouses I hear, hindering people from going into a particular challenge is that they believe they don’t have the “X-factor” to excel in it. Usually, it’s after one or two failed attempts in that same domain. Or something so new that they didn’t know what to expect. They’ll say things like “Nah, I’ve tried before and I know I suck”, “I’m just not cut out for that” or “I can never be as good as him” and abandon the whole idea just to save themselves the embarrassment. Even when it’s something that’ll definitely expand their lives if they’ll just give it another try.

I admit I’m not spared of this too. Besides judging myself previously for lacking the talent in sales, I used to think I was a lousy dancer… hehehe. I was a member of the high school choir and during one of our overseas concerts; I was handpicked to take part in an all girls performance item. We had to sing and dance a little at the same time. A few of us - myself included - were so “stiff” that we had to be given remedial lessons in our female instructor’s hotel room every other night before the concert! Yes, we were that bad!

Hardly anyone would comment I’m a bad dancer now whenever my friends and I go clubbing. In case you’re wondering, nope, I didn’t take any dancing lessons. I just changed my thinking. In fact, when I look at it, it’s probably the same process of thoughts that lead me to my sales success. Here’s how :

(1) Expect the Frustration

Trust me, when you’re being challenged with some role or work you’ve previously labeled yourself as having no talent for, the first thing to do is just to expect the frustration. It’ll inevitably bring back the nasty memories of how everyone jeered at you when you were on the stage not knowing what to say, for instance. Your ego is likely to convey that underlying message that you shouldn’t speak in public anymore just to avoid the pain of getting hurt or disappointed again.

Well, don’t beat yourself up over it. Be aware that this is your subconscious’ way of protecting you. But despite the good intentions, choosing to run away from it is literally putting yourself on dystrophy mode. You’ll never be able to do well in public speaking not because it’s true you lacked the talent but rather because you’ve decided not to give yourself a second shot at it anymore!

(2) Make a Decision & Watch Your Focus Shift

In most of my cases, I realize my frustration and anxiety is at its worse when I’m split on a decision. Whether to take up the challenge or say “no”. The former requires some guts but whenever I do so, the negative energy caused by my frustration soon turned into proactive forces. I’ll start brainstorming ways to alleviate the situation. Such as putting in more effort to practice or research the skill I need to develop.

Strangely at the same time, I’ll find comfort within myself. For example, even though I was worried about affecting the necktie sales, I eventually told myself that my assistance was actually to help my brother-in-law resolve an urgent resource issue, which was far more pressing than a slight drop in Sales.

I find myself focusing on another aspect of the whole situation so much so that it takes the pressure off the results. Think of it this way. Assuming you’ve just taken an examination and the score for a pass is 50 marks. You got 45. If your focus is on passing, I’m sure you’ll feel terrible. But what if your plan is to do better than your previous grade, which was 20 marks? You’ll have achieved 125% improvement, way above what you’ve intended!

(3) Observe > Practice > Review > Practice

When the focus is shifted and the stress to perform is greatly reduced, you’ll gradually build up that self belief that it’s probably not going to be that tough after all. By following up this school of thought with the 4 action steps of observe, practice, review and practice, trust me, you’ll be able to hone the skill that you thought you didn’t have the talent for. Just like what I did to be better in dancing.

After my high school saga, I never really had a chance to dance again. Until my University hostel committee organized a party at a club where we were all invited to the dance floor after the dinner. I was initially reluctant to join them - mainly because I don’t want to embarrass myself - but when everyone at our table popped down to the dance floor, a friend just dragged me by the arm. I didn’t have time to say “no”.

Under the music and shimmering lights, I suddenly realized that everyone was so busy having fun that no one would notice my obscure dance moves! I began to shift my focus. Instead of being conscious about my dance steps, I just concentrate on swaying my body with the music.

And as I did so, I started taking note of how others danced, played copycat a little, review the response from my friend on my moves - well, she didn’t say anything bad - and quickly continued with it. At the end of the day, I was having so much fun that for the first time ever, I felt that dancing wasn’t totally beyond me! As much as I thought it was.

(4) Have Fun In The Process!

Once everything becomes almost second nature to you through your observation, practice, review and continuous practice, what determines if you’ll ever do well in that domain really depends on how much fun you’re beginning to derive from it. Nowadays, I’m usually the one initiating for a chillout at the clubs, occasionally receiving a bonus compliment that I dance quite naturally. And yes, none believed that I used to be so bad in dancing that I had to have remedial lessons.

Do you now enjoy the attention of speaking on the stage? Are you gradually opening up to the idea of breaking ceilings of sales one after another? Will you like to go dancing to the tune of the music and sweating it out again? When you derive a lot of fun and satisfaction from that something didn’t know you could do well it, it will eventually develop an impetus for you to know more, learn more and practice more. That, in turn avalanches your achievement as you become skilled in it.

Though I still face a lot of insecurities in reattempting stuff I used to do badly in - things that I totally felt I wasn’t born with the gift for - such little successes over the years have helped to mitigate that frustration and fear. I know there’s still a chance for me to do well in it.

对于阻碍人们直面挑战的缘由，一个最常听到的抱怨就是他们自以为不具备战胜挑战的“X-因子”。通常，这种结论要么是在经历过类似的事情上的失败后得出的要么就是面对一种全新的事物而使他们无从期待。他们会想“不，我可不再干了，我以前已经试过，不是失败了吗？”，“我不是那块料”或者“我永远不可能像他那么优秀”，所以他们就选择放弃来避免失败的尴尬，哪怕是那些只要他们再努力一次就会对他们的生命产生重大意义的事情。

我承认我也是这些抱怨者中的一员。除了以前把判定自己在销售方面没有天赋之外，我曾经还常常认定自己是一个差劲的舞者。。。呵呵。在高中的时候，我是学校唱诗班中的一员。在一次海外音乐会的时候，我还选去参加全体女子表演项目。我们要同时唱一小段歌，跳一小段舞。我们中的一些人（包括我自己）很僵硬，以至于在音乐会前，每隔一晚上我们都要去我们的女指导员的酒店房间里接受矫正训练！是的，我们那时就是那么差劲。

现在我和朋友去泡吧的时候，几乎没人说我是一个差劲的舞者了。或许你还会认为我没有参加过任何舞蹈培训班。我只是换了一种思维。实际上，当我自己看这件事，我想这种思维可能也会让我在销售领域取得成功。方式如下：

(1) 做最坏的打算

相信我，当你面临一些你已经给自己贴了“无此项天赋”标签的角色或工作的挑战时，你只要首先做好最坏的打算就可以了。比如，你会不可避免的回忆起在你不知所措的时候，别人对你的嘲笑。你的内心可能会有一个声音阻止你再在公开场合演讲以避免被伤害或失望的痛苦。

不要为此自责。这是你潜意识里自我保护的表现。但是除去这些好的意愿，你选择逃避才是真正使你心情不好的原因。你再也不能在公众场合演讲了，不是因为你没有天赋，而是因为你不肯再给自己一次机会。

(2) 做出决定 & 慎重考虑注意力的转移

在我大多数经历中，我发现在我取消一个决定时，我的沮丧和忧虑会达到最糟糕的程度。要么选择面对挑战，要么选择逃避。选择前者需要一些勇气。可是每次我选择直面挑战时，由于的沮丧而产生的消极能量就会迅速变成积极的力量。于是我就开始以头脑风暴的方式去是我面临的处境好转。比如花更多的精力去实践，或者研究我需要的技术。同时也很奇怪，我会对自己的行为处境感到舒适。比如说，尽管我很担心领带销量被影响,我还是会告诉自己，我的助手去帮助姐夫解决一个紧急的原料问题，和销售量下降比起来，那可重要多了。

我发现自己对整个情况的另外一方面如此专注，以至于清楚了结果带给我的压力。不妨这样想想，设想你只是在参加一场比赛，及格分数是50分。你的了45分。如果你的注意力集中在 “及格”上，我敢肯定你的心情会很糟。但是如果你的目标是超越自己上一次的分数—20分，感觉又会如何？你会觉得自己有了125%的提高，已经超过了你自己的预期！

(3) 观察 > 实践 >揣摩 >再实践

当你转移注意力之后，压力就会大大地减小。你会逐渐建立起自我信念，会发现可能建立自信根本就没那么难。按照这个思维训练的4步曲：观察，实践，揣摩，再实践，相信我，你一定会练就你原本以为自己所没有的天赋，就像我为提高自己舞蹈技能时所做的那样去做。

在高中的传奇之后，我再也没有真正拥有过跳舞的机会了。直到我读大学，学校青年招待所委员会在一个俱乐部里组织了一个聚会。晚餐后，我们都应邀去了那个俱乐部的舞厅。一开始，我真不愿意加入-----主要是因为我不想让自己尴尬。但是当我们桌的人都涌入舞厅时，一个朋友抓住我的手臂，我来不及说“不”就被他拽入了舞池。

在音乐声和闪烁的灯光之下，我突然意识到大家都忙着享受这欢快的时刻，根本就不会有人注意到我不雅的舞姿！我开始转移我的注意力。我不再紧盯着自己的舞步，而是随着音乐扭动着自己的身体。

当我随着音乐舞动的时候，我开始注意别人的舞步，开始模仿，开始观察朋友对我的舞姿的反应------其实，她对我没有任何不好评价------我又迅速地继续这样的改进方式。最后，我在那天感觉到了前所未有的快乐！我觉得那天的舞蹈是自己的一个真实水平，和我想的差不多。

(4) 享受过程!

通过你的观察，实践，揣摩，和继续实践，一旦一切都成为你的第二天性的时候，你在这个领域做什么样的决定就真的要取决于你开始从中得到多少乐趣了。如今，我常常是俱乐部里第一个需要“冷却”的人类，时不时还能得到夸奖说我的舞跳得自然。自然，没人相信我曾经舞技烂到要上矫正课的地步。

你现在享受在舞台上说话所得到的关注了吗？你逐渐形成了突破销售量层层困难的想法了吗？你愿意再次随着音乐舞到大汗淋漓吗？当你从自己不确信能做的事情中获得巨大喜悦和满足感时，那次经历就会成为你去做更多了解，更多锻炼的动力。那也会随着你技能的娴熟而打破你曾经的成绩。

尽管我现在对重新尝试我曾经失败的那些事情-------我觉得自己天生就不是那块料的事情心存疑虑，这些年所取得的一些小的成功已经帮我减轻了那种沮丧和恐惧。我知道我还有机会去做好它。

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