1.

谁暗杀了林肯

"Who killed Abraham Lincoln*?" the teacher asked her seventh-graders**. Everyone but John raised a hand to answer. " Do you know, John?" she asked. "Dammit***, I don't know and I don't care!" the boy yelled, arms crossed. "Stop asking questions." Upset, the teacher kept John after class and called his father for a conference****. "What's the problem?" John's dad asked when he arrived. "Why is my son in detention?" "I asked John who killed Abe Lincoln and he cursed and said he didn't know and didn't care, and told me to stop asking him questions." Furious, the man grabbed John by the collar. "What's your problem, son?" he shouted. "If you killed the man, just say so."

一名老师问一个初一班级的学生， “谁暗杀了林肯？”除约翰外，所有学生均举起手来。 老师走过去问约翰，“你知道答案吗？”约翰双手交叉，大声叫道，“xxx,我不知道，也不在乎。不要再问我问题了。” 老师感到很沮丧，课后把约翰留下来，并打电话让约翰的爸爸过来开个会。 约翰的爸爸到了之后，问老师， “我儿子怎么了，为什么被您留下来？” 老师说，“我问他，谁杀了林肯，他开始骂人，说他不知道也不在乎，并要我不再问他任何问题。” 约翰的爸爸非常生气，抓起儿子的衣领，吼道，“儿子呀，你究竟怎么了？如果是你杀了人，你就承认啊。”

2.

我老婆的照片

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.

　　一个生意人走进一家酒馆，在吧台坐下，点了一杯加冰的双料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又让服务员把杯子满上。

After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

　　喝完，生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。

The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

　　这时酒馆的服务生说话了，“呃，老兄，我整个晚上给你倒martini都没有问题，但你得告诉我，你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。

The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

　　生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来，那就说明我喝得差不多了，该回家了。”

• 6小时掌握学英语的秘诀！——点击看答案
• 专治男女记不住单词的秘密